First post, hoping to sway pink!

Hey everyone! I've been a long time lurker on this site but haven't posted or commented on anything yet. I thought maybe I should introduce myself instead of just silently stalking everyone's threads.

A little bit about me, I turned 32 in June and I have 2 sons. My oldest is 10 (11 in October) and my little guy is 2 (3 in December) and they have different fathers. I was with my oldest son's dad for almost 10 years and he had a son from a previous relationship, and was NOT open to anymore children, so I thought my son, I'll call him "C," would be my only. Then when C was 5 years old, his father died unexpectedly. I met my current fiance about a year after his passing and we have been together ever since. He was 35 at the time and had no children of his own, but desperately wanted to be a father. I know it sounds crazy, but we started trying for a baby within the first year and it took me about 16 months to conceive my youngest, I'll call him "B." DH wants at least 2 more kids, but I'm not sure my body would be able to handle that. My OB told me when I was pregnant with B that if I wanted more children I needed to do it within the next 2 years and then be done bc they're just going to be harder and harder on me, idk though. I had gestational diabetes (diet controlled-ish, late diagnosis) and pretty severe pre-eclampsia, I had him via c-section at 36w and he weighed over 8lbs; with B, I only had gestational diabetes but it was very uncontrolled (even being on insulin 5x/day and following the diet), he was born just shy of 37w via CS and weighed 9lbs. I also had very low fluid with both pregnancies, so that, combined with the fact that they were both so big for their gestation and having GD, he feels like it would be best for me to only try one more time. So this may be my last shot for me to get my daughter! Both sides of our family lack girls, so everyone is praying for pink! DH's mom has 2 sons, her hubby has a son and they have 7 grandsons between the up of them. On my side, I have 1 girl cousin and 8 boys, and my brother is the only one of us who has a daughter, the rest of us all have ALL boys! So we NEED a girl in our lives! Haha!

Anyway, back to what's relevant... Sorry, I ramble sometimes.

So yeah, I'm 32 and DH is 38 (he'll be 39 in November), so the clock is ticking for both of us. Physically, I'm overweight, technically obese I believe, weighing in at about 215 and only being 5'10" tall. I don't eat well, my diet is mostly carbs and meat with very little fruit and veggies (even though I love both!), minimal dairy (I hate milk so I really only get that with cheese, sour cream, etc.) lots of sweets and other terrible snacks, and I drink Diet Coke like my life depends on it. I don't work out like I should and I don't take any supplements but I do take Adderall and have been on it for years. I know to stop it as soon as I get a BFP, as I did before. I also take Prilosec when I think about it and eat Tums quite a bit for heartburn. My family doctor knows we're TTC and has recently ordered some blood work as a starting point (per my request), just to rule out any hormonal issues since we've been trying for almost 18 months, I go next week for that. DH is also slightly overweight, but not as much as me because he's lost about 30-40lbs over the last 2 years. He's about 5'6" and weighs about 175lbs, I believe. Our diet is pretty much the same, but he eats more sweets than I do and hates Diet Coke, he only ever drinks Gold Peak sweet tea and refuses to drink water, I don't know what his deal is with that though. He doesn't take any supplements either, but he takes Prilosec regularly and he has been on a narcotic (prescribed!!) long-term due to a broken vertebrae in his spine, but I can't remember what it's called. He's terrified to have the surgery due to the risk of being paralyzed, but that's more than likely going to be necessary within the next 5 years according to his doctor, but that's probably irrelevant. He is also a smoker and will usually smoke weed before bed at night. I'm not sure if the amount matters or not, but I think it's just a hit or two. Please no judgement on that. He's willing to give up the weed if he has to, but it helps with the leg pain due to his back injury, and it helps his be able to fall asleep.

I have been trying to read all of the info on this site, but I'm having a really hard time knowing where to start and what to do for my individual situation. My cycles are on the longer side and can get irregular at times, but they're usually around 33-37 days, give or take. I am getting ready to put in an Amazon order for some more OPK strips and a new BBT thermometer so I can really track O, but I was also considering ordering some Vitex+ and/or Lydia Pinkham as I've read they help with cycles and also sway pink, but I'm not sure whether I should or not? I know I need to get some calcium and magnesium supplements, can anyone recommend a good brand/kind? Other than that though, idk what else to do. I'm dying for a daughter and I will do anything to increase my chances. I literally obsess over it and I have cried more times than I can count. It's actually kind of embarrassing to admit that "out loud," but it's the truth.

Well, if you made it this far, thanks for staying with me so long. I know I'm not the only one in this pink sway and I can't wait to get to know each of you!

I would love ANY tips and/or suggestions, I don't care if they're old wives tales or proven facts, I will do it!

What should I be doing or not doing? Help!!!


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Yes, first off just let me assure you that the OB admonition "if you want another it will need to be within 'X' amount of time" is BS nonsense and is only very rarely true (in the case of people with severe endometriosis, for example - progressive diseases). For the rest of us, while obviously our egg health does decline and our physical strength wanes, this is a very slow process that occurs VERY gradually over time and any doctor telling a 32 year old with proven fertility that they have any concern about their ability to get and stay pregnant without some very sound medical reasons should probably have their heads examined. Even with gestational diabetes you can still have healthy pregnancies and LOTS of women have pre-e with the first and not with subsequent pregnancies. Very common finding.

To be honest I'd actually suggest thinking about a different doctor.

The absolutely most important thing you can do for both your sway and for a healthy pregnancy is to lose some weight and change your diet. I know that is not an easy prescription but it's the single best way to get a girl and the results for your pregnancy will be beneficial too. It will also help you get pregnant.

The good news is this - your diet is already quite pink friendly, Adderall seems to sway pink (we've even had some blue sways produce female opposites while DW was taking Adderall). Prilosec likely sways pink, and we also believe the MJ does too. No judgement here, many people use MJ for their hubby as a pink sway tactic.

In fact your circumstances remind me of one of my most heartbreaking blue sway opposites (they wanted a boy but got a girl) so believe me when I say you have every chance of a girl. No guarantee but I feel good about your ability to sway.

PLEASE do not take Lydia Pinkham and Vitex. They don't work for pink and in many cases have the effect of making an irregular cycle worse (plus the Lydia Pinkham has some stuff in it that may be harmful to your health and to a pregnancy, and the only reason why they're able to continue selling the stuff is it's probably mostly sugar water)

We leave cal-mag at your discretion. Many of us, myself included, got BOYS taking those supplements, and we started this site because all that old school stuff did NOT WORK. When I began doing research lo these many 12+ years ago now, I discovered that the mineral diets had very little data supporting them and what they did have was nonsense gibberish. People had success on those diets NOT because of the mineral levels but because the pink-style diets were lower in terms of nutrients. and the blue-style diets were higher in terms of nutrients. If you're dying to try the cal-mag, be sure to get the kind without added Vitamin D even if it means you have to use Tums for your calcium (it's gotten very hard to find calcium without Vit. D of late)

What I would suggest for you is our alternate PCOS-type diet (and you can be on this type of diet even without PCOS.) That diet has the following macros:

1500-1800 cals (a minority of people end up having to go to 1800-2000 to prevent excess or rapid weight loss, and a very few people - maybe about 1-3% depending on who's swaying at any given time - drop to 1200-1500)

50-60 g protein
50-60 g fat

And do NOT count the protein and fat in fruit and high-carb veg (including potato). We don't count those small amounts of incomplete proteins. Additionally low carb veg, the kind that don't taste sweet or starchy, you count NOTHING in them, not even calories. They are free and unlimited, have as much as you want of any low carb veg.

Have full fat dairy ONLY, no skim or part skim. Skim milk is the DEVIL for blood sugar and high blood sugar sways blue.

Whole grains only, though we sometimes make exceptions for pasta (since pasta has a lot of protein in it and whole grain pasta is VILE) Avoid those yummy fluffy white grains.

And now the hard one - no sugar. Sugar IN stuff like sauces is fine, but no candy, cookies, cakes, sugar in coffee, etc.

You CAN have coffee and alcohol 1-2 servings a day if that is ok for you.

In addition to that I want you to have 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon (ceylon only) from AF-O and 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon from O-AF. Just stir this into coffee or sprinkle it into your food or whatever. this will help reduce your blood sugar. At BFP wean back to dietary amounts.

Then I also want you on myoinositol 2000 mg from AF-O (this sounds like a lot but that's just the dose it comes in) and then 1000 or take the 2000 every other day from O-AF. At BFP gradually wean off by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week, then you can drop them. This sways strongly pink, we've had great results with it, plus it will help you lose weight and will very likely regulate your cycle and make it more likely to conceive.

Coq10 (ubiquinol is best) 400 mg daily starting right away, wean off at BFP

2000 mcg FOLATE only started right away, continue this dose thru the entire first trimester of pregnancy then gradually wean off (do not drop this cold turkey under any circumstances) till down to the amount in your prenatal (which you start at BFP)

And I want you to exercise. Even if you can't get up to the high levels of exercise many do for the sway, for you personally even moderate exercise is ok as long as you're on a lower cal, lower protein diet like I described above and have lost at least a little weight.

So you have been trying for 18 months - can you explain what all you've been doing?? Have you been trying timing methods like Babydust in this time? Douching?

And trust me - all of us myself included have done our fair share of crying about gender...we completely understand.

Hi, Atomic!

I know it's been quite a while since I have been here, but I wanted to say thank you so much for you reply to my very long post. Your wealth of knowledge is amazing and I appreciate you taking the time to give me so much advice!

I'm sorry I didn't reply to you last summer when I originally posted this thread, tbh I'm not even sure if I ever logged back in. A few days after sharing here, my mom was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of metastatic breast cancer, and my focus was immediately shifted. She recently finished 9 months of chemo, including 30 sessions, I believe. She had her lumpectomy about 6 weeks ago and will start radiation soon, and will also continue her oral chemo pill for a minimum of 10 years, but more than likely it will be a life-long regimen, along with the hormone therapy, as her cancer was estrogen positive. She's doing well though, she recently got the "all clear" scan and she's rocking the bald look like a champ. Her hair is actually starting to grow back in though, it's white peach fuzz and I think it looks awesome on her! Tbh, I'm kinda hoping she keeps it short and let's it stay white (she's always colored her hair red) because it looks that great!

Anyway, yeah, so that's what I've been up to for the last 11 months. I stopped working last September in order to be able to be there for my mom, and we stopped actively ttc for the most part, as it just didn't feel like the right time. I never went on BC or anything and we never tried to prevent it, I just didn't track or time anything anymore, we just rallied around my mom and I spent 100% of my "free time" either crying (bc I was terrified of losing her) or praying - I have never prayed so much or so hard in my whole entire life, as I have over the last year. I can't remember what her cancer was called, but it's the most aggressive form (for example, her tumors more than quadrupled in size in less than 4 weeks), and it only has one treatment option, which a person can only receive once in their lifetime. So if (or maybe "when") it returns, well, I don't want to talk about that... Hence the prayers.

Anyway, she's doing much better and it's starting to feel more normal again, so let's get back to talking about something exciting - making a baby! 😁❤️

Physically, nothing has changed with DH or I, we're both still overweight, me more so than him still (of course 🙄😒), I still live on Diet Coke and unhealthy food, he still lives on Gold Peak and even unhealthier food, and our exercise regimens are uhh, still on the up-and-coming list, but we are both ready to commit again. I did stop my Adderall back in January-ish because of my blood pressure, though I'm positive that it was only up bc of everything going on at the time. I chose to stop that because I couldn't control the other stress factors contributing to my hbp (like worrying about my mom), but I knew that was a common side effect of Adderall, so I chose to eliminate what I could control... I think I'm gonna go back on it, but I just haven't made the appointment yet... Idk.

I am going to take the next few days and get started on the things you recommended, and start getting back into the swing of ttc. AF started yesterday, so I decided now is the right time. Besides, I turned 33 last month and DH turns the big 4-0 in November, so our clocks are ticking even louder now.

Thank you again for so much info, I will report back in a few days when I've had time to process and figure everything out. 😁❤️

Hey, you never need to worry about not getting back to me, it's my job to get back to you, not the other way around!

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's illness, but I'm so glad she's doing ok now! :heart: :pray: :heart:

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any more questions or need guidance in any way! Sending you all the pink dust I have at my disposal!