Hoping for some advice

Hello,
I’m not really sure where to turn since I ashamed of my feelings. I used to post here and there on the ttc girl board and got some wonderful advice. I thought I was living a girl friendly sway life for a long time when we made our final attempt at trying for a girl. Well, I got pregnant and with life getting real crazy, I stopped coming on this site. I am now in my 3rd trimester and chose not to find out the gender because I am just not ready to officially hear “it’s a boy”. However, I just know it is...everything points to boy...I know timing has not been proven but my conception date is the day we dtd, I ovulated from the right, I’ve stalked nub pics and it definitely doesn’t look like any girl nub I’ve seen, it’s just the vibe I got from Sonos. I don’t know. But the way I’m feeling lately is just terrible. I cry everyday thinking I will never have the girl I dreamed of. I know I should be grateful for a healthy baby but I just can’t shake these feelings and feel like I can’t even talk to anyone about them. I’m sorry this is just a rant but if anyone actually read this, thank you and if anyone has any advice I really appreciate it.

Hugs to you.
You sound so much like me with my last two pregnancies!
Each time I was looking for anything I could find to prove to me that my attempt at a girl was OR was not successful.
Both times I swear the ultrasound proved to me in someway the baby was a boy.
But I this last time I was completely wrong. I could’ve sworn I saw a boy parts on all of my ultrasounds. I could’ve sworn the technician said he. Looking back I feel like I was just seeing and hearing what I wanted to see to protect myself from getting my hopes up.
In hindsight I kind of wish I had just found and not told anyone.
For me it was the reactions I didn’t want to deal with.
But I totally believe in doing what’s right for you because everybody handles the news differently.
I hope this helps a little