HI :) Pregnant with DS3/Planning girl sway for #4

Hello!

This site has been my coping strategy ever since I found out that my 3rd was a boy at 11 weeks (and I am now ~32 weeks) - so thank you SO much for this amazing resource and supportive place!!
I had GD with each of my children (always saw myself just having girls, or mostly girls), and it has gotten progressively worse with each one....Adoption and HT are unfortunately not an option for us.

Some background:
For DS1, I think God insisted on him being a boy no matter what lol, because my entire lifestyle at that time was extremely girl-swaying...I didn't even have AF for a long time back then (I was very unhealthy and severely underweight and anemic, in an abusive relationship, smoking, sleep deprived, self-medicating teenager. My boyfriend at the time was much older in his late 30's, also smoking, also unhealthy.)
DS1 changed my life <3 I probably wouldn't be alive today if he hadn't been born.

DS2 was years later with my DH and I now know that I actually swayed boy without knowing! I was drinking those Boost supplement drinks everyday and eating/snacking a lot (gained 10 LBS around that time!)

For DS3, I tried doing a girl sway based on some seemingly legitimate articles I read online- which I now feel foolish about!
I took big amounts of Cal+Mag which had Vit D and Zinc in them! Plus a Prenatal vitamin daily, lots of Vit C powder (because "it makes you acidic" har har), and was trying Shettles for the first couple months...then freaked out that I couldn't get pregnant and so I added Omega 3, CoQ10 and Vit B6!!! I also drank a lot of milk and ate a lot of yoghurt ( don't laugh...but the milk was often mixed in with CEREAL and the yogurt just so happened to be Pro-Biotic)...I was also scared to eat anything with any salt or potassium, and avoided meat...ended up looking sickly....so then I was so hungry that I gave up and started just eating everything. So...needless to say, the "girl sway" was a complete fail...and was more like a boy sway than anything else :(

Anyways,

For #4, we are desperate for DD, and I know there are no guarantees, but I have to try! DH is willing to do whatever is necessary to sway also! By the way, I am early 30's and he is late 20's.

What I am worried about:

1) I am Martha for sure. I have no chill, as they say. I have to micro-manage everything (and it doesn't help that DH and both DS's are all laid-back with a "whatever happens, happens" attitude that triggers my Martha-ness), and I feel like the world is going to come crashing down when some detail goes wrong. I plan on buying the Personalized Plan for when I TTC#4, so I am hoping Atomic's knowledge and zen guidance can diminish my Martha tendencies!

2) I am pursuing a degree and need good marks, so I think that will affect my "testosterone" (or whatever it is that is connected to that sort of competition/conflict factor).

3) I have a surgery coming up at some point (sometime in the next 12-18 months). I can't seem to figure out if I want to start trying TTC before or after the surgery. On one hand, I am thinking the surgery/post-surgery recovery might sway pink in the month or two after? Should I wait until after the surgery then? But then the pink sway of close age gaps will be gone, right? In true Martha fashion, I hate not knowing EXACTLY when the surgery will be, because that means I cannot plan everything down to the month/day/minute. So it is making me antsy not being able to plan definitively when I will start the LE diet.

4) I won't be able to get Clomid/Femara from the doctor, and it is driving me bonkers because I know it is such a good thing for a pink sway!


At this point the plan is to do: LE diet + skipping breakfast, cardio exercise 5 days/week, only 1 attempt + J&D at pos OPK, antihistamines to dry up CM and I kind of want to try some sort of girl-friendly jellies for the first month or two just to try (I don't know which ones though), only supplements would be Folic Acid and Fibre, daily alcohol (wine) and coffee for me. Also considering drinking some peppermint tea.
Then for DH, he said he will try to start biking, hot shower before BD, OLE, soy milk, maybe some alcohol before BD?

We are both wanting to give it our all...so any suggestions are welcome!


Apologies for the long introduction lol. Happy upcoming New Year!

1) and 2) - you can't change your personality. Don't try. Just focus on swaying in the ways that make sense to you and don't worry about things like your schoolwork that are out of your control.

3)TTC at the point in time that makes the most sense for you and your family. We cannot know because we don't have a crystal ball, which option is better. Rather than endlessly debating the pros and cons (all very control freakish) just pick the thing that will work better for you otherwise and do that, then put it out of your head, decision made.

4)Most of the baby girls ever conceived were gotten without those medications (including mine.) It's not important, let it go.

I can't necessarily sign off on that sway without knowing more about your overall health but that is a good start. I don't recommend the peppermint tea really any more and use the antihistamines quite sparingly but we can talk more about that as we go!

Hi Atomic,

Thank you for the wise words and looking forward to working with you on this in upcoming 2021! Hope you and your family had a good holiday even in this unusual year <3

Thank you! You too!