3rd boy and so heartbroken...

Dear Mamas,

I want to apologize in advance for my writing. English is not my mother language but I hope you can understand everything.

Last week we got our NIPT results - Boy... I wasn't shocked, deep down I knew it will be another boy even though I swayed very well in my opinion.
I got GD with every son because I always knew that I wanted a daughter. I had to convince my husband for this third baby. I was so exited to sway because I knew its going to work and I will have my daughter in my arms. I've been wrong.

I know I will go through this. My husband is so supportive and reading in this forum gives me so much strength. My husband even suggested going HT in some years and we will probably do this but know I have to focus on this baby because the exicitmend and love still not there. I know this will come when he's there..

If this wasn't enough, my sister is pregnant too and of course she will get a daughter(its confirmed)..We were so exited that we both are pregnant, were are both due in late August.
It was always my wish to be pregnant with her (we have a very strong bond). Be careful what you wish for..because now it feels like a nightmare. I am happy for her but I know there will be so many situation that will break my heart. I fear the family parties the most. My sister in law got her first child last August, of course a daughter. I will be the only one on the family who doesn't have a daughter(I really mean everyone, our parents, grandparents, Uncle and Aunts..everyone).I feel so lonely and heartbroken and I don't know what to do. I wish that I didn't have to attempt any family parties in the next years but I know this will hurt many people and I can't do this because I love all of them. I will try to smile and to be happy but I know I will be crying at home..

My biggest problem is that I don't know what to do with my sister. She knows that I am sad and she tries to unterstand my feelings. She didnt contacted me for about a week because I said to her I need time and I would contact her, when I am ready. Everyday I want to call her but it hurts so much. I am scared that I miss so much, that our relationship will be hurt and that I can't bond with my niece. I already have problems with bonding with my niece from my sister in law. I always told me that this will change until I know I am pregnant with my daughter..
I feel so selfish and that I hurt so much people but I am just so heartbroken..:broken:

Thank you so much for your time.

I'm so sorry your sway did not work out as we had hoped. I find that dealing with other people's expectations is the hardest part of Gender Disappointment. In time, it does get easier, but it is so devastating to be in this situation. Please let us know how we can help.

Hi LmummyL

I just wanted to say that I feel for you, and I feel with you.

I am expecting my 4th boy, second sway opposite. SO MUCH sacrifice throughout the last 3 years. I do not have a sister, I do not have a mother, and I will never have a daughter.

All my cousins have both their son and daughter and that breaks my heart... they also all have mothers, fathers and sisters... I am the lonely one, and I am the one who do not get to reach that dream....again...

Last time was easier to heal because I knew I could eventually get one last chance, one last shot... like you do now. you will get that over shot, so you can still believe that it will happen someday :-). Hang on to that, and you will welcome youre 3rd boy with a lighter heart...

I have no more chances...and yet did SO much in my sways...

It's not fair.

Goodluck to you, you will be much loved by your beautiful boys... I had GD to each as well because i needed that daughter...but I love them to pieces.

If you want to talk...

OLC