Feeling so anxious after DTD

Hi All--

A little background... I have two amazing little boys and we are trying for a girl. This was our first month TTC. I've been on the LE diet for 14 weeks (following pretty closely/no snacking) and have been working out 6-7 days a week for 60 minutes for the past six weeks. I've lost 8 lbs while on the diet. My husband has been talking OLE and cranberry (also drinking soy) for the past month. He took a hot shower beforehand and I did J & D afterwards. My PH was at a 4.5 (had used rephresh two days ago) before and a 6.75 after we DTD. I know ions don't mean anything but today is a new moon & it's raining- Hoping that's a good thing for pink!

We decided to DTD today as I had been tracking my ovulation for the past three months. Today was supposed to be 3 days out but apparently I'm ovulating sooner. We DTD at about 3 pm and then I tested and am apparently at the beginning of my LH surge... I know that timing isn't supposed to sway but I'm feeling really discouraged that we've tried too close to ovulation & I've messed everything up. I know that you technically ovulate 24 hours after the surge (which I haven't gotten yet) but I know I won't be at the 2-3 day cutoff. Is it true that timing has been debunked? I just don't want to think of the "what ifs" while being in the 2WW. Looking for some encouragement!

Timing doesn’t matter. Multiple studies have shown that. Purely anecdotal, but if I don’t have sex the day before ovulation I don’t conceive. I’ve had both genders doing this.

Thank you Bunnygirl19! This whole process is so stressful and being a total boy mom type (control freak) makes it so much worse. It’s reassuring to hear that timing didn’t impact any of your baby’s genders. Congratulations on the twin girls!

First off, we need to wean your husband off cranberry. Men are supposed to take OLE OR cranberry, not both. It may thin his blood too much to take them together, so let's back off before that.

It is 1000% true that timing has been debunked. Timing is as debunked as it is possible in science for something to BE debunked. We know Dr. Shettles was wrong, we know the reasons why he was mistaken, if he had lived, he would tell us himself that he was wrong about what he thought were differences between X and Y sperm that we now know are uncapacitated and capacitated sperm (of BOTH sexes). We have access to technology that Shettles did not have 50 years ago that has proved in several different ways that timing is not actually a thing (and you can read that here https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...trouble+timing)

The people who still claim timing works are like people believing diseases are caused by bad air here in 2021 when we know viruses and bacteria exist. They are sticking with something that is scientifically disproven because they're either selling something based on timing, or else because it seems sooo easy they desperately want it to be true.

There are TONS of us on here for whom timing did not work - repeatedly. I myself have 3 boys with cutoffs and got my girl close to ovulation. (my 4th boy was a sneak attack, IDK when I got him!)

Also, do be aware if you're at the start of your surge you can easily still be 2-3 days from ovulation.

Oh goodness- I will definitely get him off the cranberry immediately. I hope everything else was ok!

Thank you Atomic! That makes me feel so much better. I’ve just heard so many friend’s stories where they have followed the Shettles Method and gotten their desired sex (although it very well may be chance/# of attempts/diet change etc.) I just want to give this my all since it’s my last chance for some pink in my life. Husband is dead set with this being our last... will find out in two weeks if we’re PG—Two weeks sounds like forever! I don’t remember it feeling like this with my boys.

Be sure to wean him off, don't just have him drop it suddenly.

They THINK they followed Shettles Method. The truth is that unless they had blood tests or an ultrasound, they (and by extention YOU) have no idea when they ovulated. You're seeing this firsthand yourself, the very month you planned to try, your cycle is different than what you expected it to be. Self-reported timing info, even if it involves temping and cervical mucus, is not reliable. Temping and cervical mucus can only predict ovulation day 1 out of 3 times, the other 2 of 3 people are guessing their O day wrong (and this is based on data from highly trained people using the best tech there is - most people are NOT highly trained and using best technology, so their results are even less reliable).

When scientists went back through even Dr. Shettles' old data using modern understandings of how cycles work, they STILL found that it was 50-50 every cycle day. The women involved in Dr. Shettles' work were calculating their ovulation day wrong and they were reporting it to the doctors incorrectly. :/