New here (trigger warning for loss)
Hello everyone! I thought I would finally introduce myself here (I think my account is now activated). :)
So, I'm 27, European married to a Brit and living in the UK! At the moment I'm not looking to sway myself (well, I can't yet, I'm pregnant!) but I find it fascinating and LOVE the amount of detail on this forum. It's the best and most comprehensive (and most honest!) swaying resource I've found on the whole internet.
I do have experience with swaying, but I wouldn't say I paid attention to every aspect. I just didn't know much about it! I also found out that some of the aspects I did pay attention to are actually debunked. I honestly think that our successful sways were mostly down to luck.
I've always had a feeling I wanted three kids, possibly four if the circumstances allow it. And I've always wanted a boy first and then a girl, for some reason! But I really just want a mixed family more than anything else. My husband feels very similar about this.
I had our first baby, indeed a son, when I was 25, after having one early loss before him. I focused on dense nutrition, salty foods (but not too processed) and we had two BDs on two days in a row in my fertile window - the second BD was on the day I had a positive OPK. I also used PreSeed because I read it swayed boy. :rolleyes: Anyway, that's how we made him and he is now 32 months old and is absolutely wonderful! I had no meat whatsoever when we conceived him, just fish (quit eating meat several years before I conceived him).
So, as I said, I really wanted our second baby to be a daughter. Unfortunately it has not been an easy ride. First I had a missed miscarriage, then I decided to be more serious about swaying girl. I read about the high magnesium and calcium and low sodium and potassium diet. Although I didn't eat any dairy and soya products (due to thyroid antibodies after my first was born), so I got most calcium from my prenatal vitamin, I did sneak in a lot of magnesium, especially with the magnesium spray I used. I also ate chicken and salmon every week when we next conceived, and I was still taking cod liver oil daily (even more than with my son). I did however eat breakfast really late, as I baked most mornings to get gluten-free stuff on the table. I also took ashwagandha daily, which apparently sways boy (didn't take it with my son), and I had collagen powder in drinks multiple times a week (same as my son)... Well, then I was fertile, we had sex with Sylk lubricant one day before my positive OPK and one day after, with one day in between. This became our girl. Unfortunately, I developed a SCH in this pregnancy. I had severe bleeding episodes throughout the first trimester. Our baby somehow kept growing well, but around 14 weeks it went wrong and we lost her. It was completely devastating and she looked just perfect. We did genetic testing to get some closure and this confirmed our baby was a genetically healthy girl.
After losing our daughter we had one more loss, but it happened very early on. This was our 'one attempt' girl sway and my husband also abstained for six days beforehand. He was 38 at the time, so apparently not a good idea at his age, I learnt... We then decided to take a break from TTC and do some more miscarriage testing. I was still following the 'girl diet' (had breakfast late and even cut out chicken, also reduced my fish intake). I also gave up ashwagandha and started taking cinnnamon more often. For a while I had been taking calcium pills in preparation for swaying girl, as I thought it might help, but then I read that this should actually be avoided according to most information, so I stopped... I have to admit my husband and I weren't doing a lot to prevent conception at this point, we just tried to avoid doing the deed in my fertile window. Until we got carried away, took a risk and lo and behold I end up ovulating earlier than normal. :pregnant: Long story short, I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with this surprise baby. It happens to be another boy. I actually lost weight in the months before we conceived him and was bordering on underweight! I don't regret getting pregnant, but I wish we had not done two BDs in a row (like with our first son). I was upset about this for a while. Maybe it was always going to be a boy, but now we'll never know. Anyway, it is what it is, at the end of the day we knew we were taking a risk as we didn't use protection! We love this boy and we're excited to meet him.
I'm still struggling a lot with the loss of our girl and people who get a daughter after a son trigger me a lot on social media (not so much on swaying forums). I honestly feel like I will never get over this loss and that only having another daughter will ease the pain. As long as everything goes well with this new baby (we still need to meet him after all), I'm prepared to sway with two more babies. I think there is a lot more I can try with diet/nutrition. I really think I have a tendency to take too many supplements, even when we were successful with our girl sway last year. I'm excited to try adding some coffee and alcohol when we sway girl again in the future, and I'll probably also look into purchasing a swaying plan. I love getting deeper into this now so I can sway in a more relaxed way when the time is right, hopefully in a year or two! I know there are no guarantees, but I'm still very hopeful we can have a biological daughter by swaying. Hopefully we won't have so many losses in the future because I do worry about that too (fingers crossed)...
Anyway, see you all on this forum! :wave: