Ttc after 2 sway opposites and loss of our identical twin

Hi all,

Reading here since 2017, read nearly everything. But ended up having 2 more gorgeous boys...:bluecheer:

1: 12 weeks LE diet, alcohol, clomid and one attempt after 14 days abstaining.DH did OLE and soy milk. First try::bluecheer:

2: 12 weeks very strict LE diet and exercise 60-70 minutes for 6 days a week. Lost huge amount weight and got family scared by it. No clomid, did alcohol and myo-inositol. Dh did OLE and released 2x a day for 14 days and released himself half an hour before our one attempt. That one attempt he released in a glass, from which I inserted only half by a syringe (tmi, sorry). Oh yes: first try and there was the love of our life: ds3.

He is 8 months by now and I got pregnant (no sway) with identical twins in September. Unfortunately I mc at 8 weeks, twins stopped growing at 6+3. They were already loved so much and we are so sad...

And now I want to be pregnant again asap, but I feel like its useless. It won't be our twin and even not a girl, seen my failed sways. Now what?

I started clomid (had a left over for 1 cycle) yesterday (5 days after actual mc, although I start bleeding a week before). After labor, my first AF arrives after only 4 weeks. No breastfeeding unfortunately. And started LE immediately after mc, but for only 2 weeks also hopeless I think?

Sorry for complaining, so sad right now...

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.

Gosh, I wish we had spoken before you started the Clomid. You should not have taken it so soon after a loss - and I truly hope I'm reading that wrong and you did not take Clomid 5 days after a loss! We needed for you to wait till your first true bleed to start the Clomid. Your body will likely not respond to the medication at all since you're still probably under the influence of pregnancy hormones, and it will have been completely wasted. How many days have you been taking it??? (It looks like just one day but not sure on the timeline) If you've only had the first dose, or less optimally two doses, I would not take any more and save the other doses for a different month. If you've taken 3 or more doses we'll take the rest and hope against hope that it works this month but I'm worried it won't work and may end up delaying ovulation returning for a long time.

Swaying is weird in that you can seemingly do the same thing you did in the past and then it works in the future. This is partly because the stuff we "see" with our sways (diet, exercise, etc) is pretty small compared with everything that we can't see - how our body is responding to all those things (getting pregnant first time, twice, indicates you and hubby are very fertile!) elements we haven't taken into account, and so on. And it's partly because of luck - swaying just can't be 100% or even close to it because if it was, the whole human race would have died out a long time ago, the first time we all ate a poor diet and had to work really hard to survive we would have had nothing but girls. For all we know, in the past, you had great sways and got to 75-80% pink sway, and then just fell into the opposites camp. This doesn't mean swaying can't work for you, just that it didn't work THAT time.

The only thing that jumps out at me about your sways is that you're clearly very very motivated with your sway. (dieting too strictly, doing the syringe, already taking the Clomid, that type of thing) This tends to be something I see in women who have a lot of boys - just this level of determination/motivation that is very very strong and leads you to have massively strict sways where you're focusing on a lot of details and trying to do everything just absolutely perfectly. Now, we don't know if this is a cause or effect of having a lot of boys but it's just something I see popping up again and again.

So what I would do if I were you is to come up with some strategies where you're not quite so all consumed by swaying. Instead of doing a super strict sway, just go vegetarian, don't track anything. Don't be monitoring hubby and making him release 2x a day, don't be doing a syringe, any of it. Anything that keeps swaying in the forefront of your mind where you're micromanaging things constantly and paying attention to details like how many times hubby has ejaculated every day and every bit of food you've eaten can end up wreaking havoc for those of us prone to be a bit control freakish.

Now, if you do get pregnant shortly the loss may help sway pink but otherwise I'd find some way to hit upon a sustainable, easy sway that does not require constant worry about details and thinking every moment about your sway.

Hi Atomic,

First I want to say "Thank you" from the bottom of my heart. You're so incredibly nice and kind to everyone and spending so much time and affort in making all of our dreams come true...

Then: yes, I started 5 days after the loss on clomid. I thought - since my body reacts so fast, AF 4 weeks after all 3 labors - it was the right thing to do in order to catch the first egg. Apparently it wasn't, sorry I didn't open this topic sooner... I have 3 pills left, so will keep them for next cycle. Meanwhile will start this weekend opk's and try to detect ovulation.

Fertility: i'm scared by myself of it. Before our first son, had 4 early mc in a row (then to the doctor, prescribed utrogestan and then finally conceived sticky baby). So basicly, unprotected sex means pregnant for us. Makes me doubt if I can conceive a daughter anyway :worry:

Diet: going vegetarian and skipping breakfast is a good idea, will drop the rest. Only thing I'm worried about is milk and yoghurt: i did eat them a lot before and its tempting to dont eat them at all this time. Would that help? And myo-inositol didnt work, shall I leave it behind this time? Lost 3 kg in a week and bmi is 21 by now, dont want to lose anymore weight...

Ok, update: pregnancy test is negative, and opk very positive. I had a gut feeling and tested because of ewcm today. So most likely i will O tomorrow, on cycleday 9. Is that even possible, so early? And today is total cheatday, more fat and proteïn than past few days together :rolleyes:

So: with cheatday and such an early egg, should I even try or would that be to boy-friendly? I can taken this whole evening for sport, and maybe 2 bottles wine and a bunch of cigarettes (didn't smoke in 10 years:D) if that would help?:cool:

Thank you so much :kissy:

Nope, not the right thing, unfortunately. No worries, it's not the end of the world, just that it's not going to have the desired outcome you're hoping for, most likely.

In the past when your "period" has come back a month after giving birth, it's likely that you did not ovulate in those cycles and simply had a bleed at that point in time. It's also very, very possible that you ovulated and then got your period a very short time later - we have seen, even many months postpartum, people ovulate and get their period within 1-3 days after ovulation. Additionally, hormonally speaking, what happened after a natural birth is not the same as what happens after a loss anyway (particularly not 5 days after). And finally, what happened in the past doesn't have any bearing on what happened in the future. Just because you had a certain pattern (or seemed to, because it wasn't really a "pattern" per se) in the past doesn't mean that will continue.

5 days ago, your body was pregnant. It wasn't developing eggs and your uterus was doing an entirely different set of "stuff" than it would do prior to implantation. It takes 12 weeks for an egg to go from a tiny seed to a fertilizable egg and so the chances that there is even an egg there to fertilize are not stellar, because the HCG should stop the development of the eggs. But let's say something crazy happened and you do have an egg that might possibly be ovulated (probably left partly thru development from before). Even if ovulation did happen, and even if that egg was able to be fertilized, that doesnt mean that the sperm could make it to the egg (you may not be making any EWCM for the sperm to survive in!) that your the lining could sustain a pregnancy, or any of it. I don't say this to pile on, just so you understand the biological mechanisms that are coming into play. It's just very unlikely that this will work out and end in conception so don't get your hopes up.

What is the dose of the Clomid you have?

Small amounts of milk and dairy foods are ok. But I myself and in fact a LOT of people only got our girls when we cut way back on them. So instead of treating dairy like a free-for-all like the mineral diets say, just eat a reasonable amount of them, no need to avoid it totally (and indeed, avoiding dairy totally feels like a very "control freak" thing to be trying to manage!)

Also, you can't assume myoinositiol "didn't work". For all you know, it swayed pink for you, and then you either had other factors swaying blue that overwhelmed the effect, or else you had as much of a pink sway as it's possible to have, and then fell into the opposites just from luck. So while I don't think anyone without PCOS NEEDS myoinositol (particularly given your weight is already low) you can't assume that it "didn't work" or "works the opposite" or anything like that. I wouldn't have recommended it unless you are known to have moderate to severe PCOS or more than 30 lbs to spare, but it's not because it sways blue, the results are pretty clear that it doesn't sway blue.

So, 3 weeks later and even more lost than I already was:worry:

I stopped Clomid right away, bc it totally makes sense what you said Atomic.. Started progesterone (always used it bc a few early mc before DS1) for just in case. On CD15 (15 days after mc) I had some spotting, lasted 3 days. So my hopes went up... Tested on CD 24 (9 days after spotting), but BFN like I suspected. Not even sad, more happy that my real cycle began. So stopped progesterone.
And waited for AF to come around. Start bleeding 3 days after, so CD 27. But for 3 days, it stayed with mostly old blood and a little bit red. Totally nothing like a normal AF so I assumed I didnt O'ed at all this cycle. Because of my previous early POS Opk I started to track and immediately an almost positive line. Day after: darker line. Confusing, so a pregnancy test 5 minutes after Opk (so not much urine to test with) to be sure and.... a very faint line:think:

And now what? Seems like my spotting wasnt implantation but ovulation? Is there a chance that this will be a healthy baby, given the weirdest cycle ever and the blood on CD 27-30?

And any chance of a girl? I lost 4kg since mc due not eatingat all, but gained the week before O. Ttc only twice, saturday en wednesday. No diet during pregnancy, so basically no diet at all. And no working out either.. And like 5 big O's during TTC:oops:

Tell me more about what you mean by a very faint line.

The reason I ask is that we have seen a LOT of very faint lines that are actually negatives over the past couple years. We're assuming there is some production issue in tests due to Covid that is causing these faint lines that look to most people like very early positive pregnancy tests.

I would hold off excitement till you have been in to see a doc for a blood test unless the urine tests have continued on and gotten darker.

I can't say if this pregnancy has a shot or not. There's a lot working against you here hormonally and I would just take a day by day attitude and see how it goes.

There's always a chance of a girl. No matter what you always have a shot.

Thank you Atomic, you are so kind and realistic at the same time..

And again you were right, 3 faint lines and then AF arrived. Don't know why, but I was not that sad at all. Maybe because it felt unfair to our twin, don't know actually..

Had good conversations with DH, and we decided to go for it only this month. So when AF shows up at Christmas, we won't try till at least May.

Had been on and off diet since loss of our Twins, so like 6 weeks. Cheated in the last 2ww, but lost like 5-7 kg since 20 october. We dtd saturdaynight for fun (after abstaining 9 days) and did j&d. Got a blazing positive opk mondaymorning and terrible o pain yesterday (monday)evening. When I woke up this morning, pain was completely gone. So I guess OV was last night or this morning. That makes an one attempt at O-2 or O-3.

I used the 3 clomid (50) that were left, from CD 4-7 (forgot one ate day 5). Got an UTI and antibiotics last week, but didn't doubt to take them (sways blue right?), since pain was too bad.

I'm okay either way. Hope for BFP, but when BFN, also okay. Not the strongest pinksway, but actually tired of this rollercoaster and happy to conceive either way and to close our "swaying" book. Looking forward to christmas: drinking wine and eating all the good stuff will be such fun, and a BFP will be also.

One more question: how much does no sleep sways pink? I slept so bad for many months, but the last like 6 weeks I slept like 9 hours a night!

Thank you so much for all of your help, you are truly amazing and giving so much hope with all your experience and advise..

Good luck!

Don't worry about the antibiotics, they have never been shown in any scientific way to sway blue. We see strong results for blue with PRObiotics so it doesn't make much sense to me that both pro and antibiotics could sway blue.

I can't quantify how much sleep sways. We just don't know for sure.

Pink dust headed your way!