Stressing about my pink sway PLEASE HELP
Hi, sorry for the long post
I am getting really stressed over my sway as I just cannot stay on track with the diet!
I was originally supposed to TTC in October but I knew in my heart I REALLY didn’t want a summer baby. I had my two boys in summer and really want a winter baby, I also couldn’t stick to the diet like I wanted to so kept postponing. It’s been hard but I’ve held off until now and plan to start TTC in February.
I have been doing some sort of ‘swaying’ since about February this year. My calories have been around 1600-1800 but I mostly have really bad weekends. I started with the PCOS version as per atomic recommendation in summer. I find myself often having terrible binges at times where I eat around 3000 calories and eat LOTS of sugar. This is really worrying me but I just seen to have no self control 🤦🏻*♀️
On the other hand I was training to run half a marathon in October which I did and have kept up the running since. I currently run 3x a week for 50mins-1hour then run 1x a week for 1.5-2hours and cover about 20-30 miles a week. I also walk the dog in between this so average about 5 days a week of exercise.
My diet is mostly 1600 calories a day 50g protein 50-60g fat (I struggle with this most) And I fast 14-18 hours a day. I eat mostly very healthy such as smoothies, seeds, nuts, wholes grains, legumes etc etc. I am have been vegetarian since December last year and only take folic acid and very occasionally I have 1/4 scoop of protein in a smoothie for flavour (1-4 times a month) The only dairy I eat is the occasional cheese. I’d say I’m 90% vegan/plant based and DH is the same. I am currently my lowest adult weight and have lost 12kg in total this year but have held steady really since about September, possibly lost 1kg but fluctuates. I drink ridiculous amounts of black coffee 4-5 a day. my BMI is 22
My DH has just lost a lot of weight and is the lowest weight he’s ever been too, although his habits really worry me. He is very healthy and drinks masses of fortified vegan protein and participates in MMA style exercise. He has recently started competing and I worry this will up his testosterone. He’s also signed up to the gym to gain ‘strength and muscle’ he used to ride his bike a lot but has quit that and occasionally runs, but literally for 20 mins at a time.
We have both got really into drinking red wine and have a glass most nights, I think over Christmas this will be a lot more excessive and we made a ‘pact’ to quit sugar and as much processed food as possible. DH isn’t aware I mostly want to try to sway.
I feel like I constantly keep putting TTC back so I can try and make my sway 100% prefect and it’s becoming very apparent I just can’t. I add 12 weeks and that’s when I plan to TTC but I feel like I can’t put it back any further than feb, when it was originally may! I eat so well mon-fri then slip most weekends! Some meals can sometimes be 1000 calories.
Am I ruining everything? how can I gain more self control?! I also worry maybe I’ve been on the diet too long which is why I’m finding it harder. I ate no sugar from Feb - May, then I got a new job so held off then too! And since then everything seems to have gone to pot. I keep telling myself what is meant to be will be, I could be 100% and still get a boy. But my stress won’t subside. Please can anyone reassure me?!