First Trimester Ultrasound coming up, advice needed!

I have my first trimester ultrasound coming up. Unfortunately, it’s scheduled for 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have studied nub theory in and out for my last three pregnancies and have gotten pretty good at reading a nub. Obviously I know that nub theory is just a theory and is not 100% but it can be pretty accurate! Here’s the thing, I’m not sure if I want to find out the gender of baby #4 (our last baby, did a decent blue sway) or if I want to wait until birth. I’m afraid that I may blow it for myself at the ultrasound by looking. I don’t think I’ll be able to not look for a nub, not sure how crazy I’ll seem by trying to not look at the screen at all. I’m considering finding out at the 20 week ultrasound to give me time to celebrate or cope but I’m nervous that finding out at 12-13 weeks may leave me devastated and dreading the rest of the pregnancy if it’s not our bundle of blue. Please help! Any thoughts, advice and opinions or personal experiences are appreciated!

Just tell them you really don't want to know gender. They're usually pretty good at turning the screen and telling you when not to look. They do it all the time, it's not an unusual request (and is certainly easier than some of the "gender reveal" things they are going through lately, people requesting they put teddy bears in boxes and blow up balloons and crazy stuff like that!)

But I do want to mention that 12 w 4 d is not definitive anyway, so if you did see something that looked girly then, the nub can still totally rise. I've seen babies even into the 13th week I would have sworn were girls but were actually boys. So even if you do
think you see something, don't read anything into it.

BTW, I just wrote a long response to someone in this thread: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...-thread-4.html where I talk about why I think anyone with a strong gender preference actually should find out in advance. Just food for thought because I've seen too many people not find out and really have a tough time with it.

Thank you so much for the advice, atomic! I’ve also read the other post you referenced. I’ve decided to include the sex in the genetic testing but will probably ask that they keep those results separate. That will give us the chance to open it privately and have whatever reaction we have without judgement. I think you are right about having some time to process things. I’ve also started to reframe my thoughts around having another baby girl. I’m trying to let go of the blue fantasy and be honest with myself more. I know that in reality we will be incredibly blessed with any healthy child and it will fill its own special spot in our family. I’m also not planning to look away during my ultrasound tomorrow. If I see a nub I’m going to try to recognize that it could very much still go either way at 12 weeks and 3 days. I’ll keep you all posted. Much love and baby dust to all those trying. Hugs to those who are hurting.

Good luck!!! Keep us posted!!