Feels like everyone favors girls....

[Cauliflower]

Well, my MIL have made it perfectly clear that her daughter is the best thing that happened to her, and that boys just disappear when they get married. I dont like my SIL at all and think she have made big mistakes which have caused lot of problems in the family. MIL is of course blinded by the love for her daughter, who btw has the only girl in the family after 2 boys, rest of us all boys!
Of course she thinks that her daughter is blessed...hard to admit but yes she got her DD!

The problem is that lately it seems like EVERYONE is saying the same thing, I even read it in a book " you son is your son till he gets a wife, your daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life"
We are three sisters so it is hard for me to see the dofference between sons and daughters. I met my uncle yesterday who was praising daughters and others telling how important it is to have a daughter, and that I definately should have one...well, if it just was that simple

Am I doomed without a daughter?? I have only met one person at my work saying she wished she had another son, bcz her son was more caring than her daughters. I keep tellig myself that if it is another boy, maybe he is this caring, loving person who us much better than a daughter...
It really bothers me that MIL must be right, and then she doesnt want me to have a daughter bcz she would like to see us suffer the way she did. Apparently she does not like her DILs.

This was a lot of babbling....
I dont know if I will be able to handle the disappointment of having another son, i only have a girl in my mind. Then I have to handle facing MIL....aaaarghh...and hiding my GD for her.....

[meeks32]

Oh hon, I completely, COMPLETELY know where you are coming from and have grappled with similar issues myself.

When we announced this pregnancy (I had 2 ds's, aged 2 and 4) my MIL's first reaction was "can we make it a girl this time please?" Followed by "how many weeks until you find out?". I feel so pressured! Also because she had 3 boys and no girls of her own, so I feel her own GD as well as my own. I want a girl so much, but I know I will be ok with another boy in time.

Try to think of families you respect with all boys, I had to think hard but when I came up with some I felt better, imagining myself in their shoes wasn't as scary.

I don't think you are doomed at all, either way, but one road will be emotionally harder for a small time.

My ds2 is super loving and caring and I was just thinking today its so funny I was sad when we found out he was a he, but I wouldn't trade him for a girl ever.

I hope that helps. I am sort of in the same position mentally as you, and feel the same worries.

[Dana-Alicia]

So sorry people make you feel this way. It's total bs though. Yes, it may be true in our case, we have a very strong bound with my family and DH does not speak to his mother anymore. But that is on HER not on him. I told my husband my concern about this, how I feared I might loose my sons one day. He told me that would not happen, as I am a loving, caring mother. I do what's best for them, without forcing them my way or pushing them in directions I want. I respect them, care for them and we make it our goal every day to make eachother happy. And of course we have our issues, we resolve them with communication, we explain and ask for their explanation (as far a spossible of course) in return. I think when you raise your children to become caring, loving people, who can emphasize with others, you're doing a good job. And your son will always be close to you. Not out of fear, or guilt, or whatever reason. But because they WANT to be near you. They want to have a good relationship with you. That's what I'm aiming for. And I'll aim for the same with a (hopefully) future daughter. No difference there, they are all my kids and they are all perfect to me. And what everyone else says or think, well they can either keep it to their selves or they can listen to me rant. I'd be very offended if someone would be dissapointed with the gender of MY baby. Mine and mine alone. And perfect, may I add.

[2bnaday]

Your MIL sounds like mine (and also meeks...your comment of feeling her GD is VERY familiar - my MIL tells me that it is still her "biggest regret in life" that she didn't have a daughter and doesn't want me to make the same "mistake", as if I have control!). She actually thinks we are totally done and doesn't know we're trying...and we are going to be team green because of her, because she made so many hurtful comments and ruined happy moments (like the day of the 20 week ultrasound) when I was pregnant with our 2nd son (my FIL told DH that we had "broken his mother's heart" - ugh).

Obviously I don't have a daughter either, so I can't tell you for sure...but, no, I don't think either one of us is doomed if we have only boys. And one of my friends just found out she's having another boy and is THRILLED bc (she has both genders already, more than one of each) she didn't want anymore girls bc they're so mean to her versus her loving and affectionate boys.

I actually do kind of believe that "daughter is a daughter" saying, bc I've seen it play out so many times...however, we have each learned from that through seeing our own MILs so we can behave differently - and there ARE exceptions to every rule! I am babbling...but I guess I'm saying that I really do think it will be okay - actually, it can be *wonderful* - even if we do end up with all boys. I do understand the panic and worry you're feeling though.

[BeadinMom]

I've said this before, but I'll say it again...
I think that whole thing about your daughter being your daughter is a load of hogwash...
I think it all depends on how you raise your kids.

My mother-in-law & I are VERY close...we don't even go on vacation without her. I love her & it's always been that way & I am so glad that my boys are seeing it, living it & understanding this is the way it is SUPPOSED to be.

I've also made each of them promise that they'll only marry a girl who loves their mom...lol

[black&gold]

For some reason people just hate on boys. No one is excited when you give birth to a boy, but if it's a girl the comments don't stop. I'm not sure why it's like this because quite honestly - most girls I know were brutal to their parents.. including myself! I know so many guys that have great relationships with their parents and choose to spend time with them on the weekends over friends. Chances are one of our boys will be the same. I just tell DH that we'll be laughing 12 years from now when all the girls have reached the psycho teen years and are treating their parents like crap, while our boys are funny and easy going!

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh and my dad goes to see his mother 4 times a week to care for her. She's been ill for the past 8 years and all the kids have made a schedual together so every child takes care of her. Everyday two of her kids come to care for her, no nurses or nursinghome needed. Which is unique in my homecountry, where old people are put in a home. My grandmother has 5 sons and 2 daughters, they all take care of her, lucky woman! Well maybe not just luck, maybe just very good parenting on her behalf, which makes her kids more adament to want to take care of her Oh and all her son in laws and daughter in laws care for her as well!

And oh yes, girls can be brutal to their parents, I know I was. But now I actually feel sorry for my MIL. If only she had done a better job parenting (and I'm not talking slightly bad job, I'm talking big big huge mess up on her part)

[crazyladyneedsababy]

Its so crap, I feel I would be fine with a 3rd boy if it wasn't for other people. I know people will be much more excited for a girl than a boy for me but that won't make him anymore special if we have a 3rd boy....it will still be the first. And only time we have him I'm gonna be the best mum I can be so my boys never want to leave

[Mrs_P]

Well, my MIL have made it perfectly clear that her daughter is the best thing that happened to her, and that boys just disappear when they get married. I dont like my SIL at all and think she have made big mistakes which have caused lot of problems in the family. MIL is of course blinded by the love for her daughter, who btw has the only girl in the family after 2 boys, rest of us all boys!
Of course she thinks that her daughter is blessed...hard to admit but yes she got her DD!

The problem is that lately it seems like EVERYONE is saying the same thing, I even read it in a book " you son is your son till he gets a wife, your daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life"
We are three sisters so it is hard for me to see the dofference between sons and daughters. I met my uncle yesterday who was praising daughters and others telling how important it is to have a daughter, and that I definately should have one...well, if it just was that simple

Am I doomed without a daughter?? I have only met one person at my work saying she wished she had another son, bcz her son was more caring than her daughters. I keep tellig myself that if it is another boy, maybe he is this caring, loving person who us much better than a daughter...
It really bothers me that MIL must be right, and then she doesnt want me to have a daughter bcz she would like to see us suffer the way she did. Apparently she does not like her DILs.

This was a lot of babbling....
I dont know if I will be able to handle the disappointment of having another son, i only have a girl in my mind. Then I have to handle facing MIL....aaaarghh...and hiding my GD for her.....

you know what some mil's are just horrid mine falls over backwards for my sil ans went on and on about how she'd have a daughter and give her the first granddaughter and how nice a girl would be in the family bring some balance, well she had a boy, i had the first girl but she still favours her daughters kids over mine, made no fuss over me having a girl and keeps going on that my sil will surely have a girl this time (she's just announced a bfp and waited until the day after my dd was born to do so!) and how nice it will be and you know what she will, my sil is one of those people she gets everything she wants.

i'm so fed of being compared to them, it makes me sad for mi kids that they are good enough til hers are around but i'm sick of letting it bother me - i have the family i wanted and my side of the family dote on my kids so they don't go without. whatever i do we won't be as good as them and i'm sick of trying. your mil is just picking something she knows is a sore spot and running with it, try to ignore her as long as you and your family are happy thats all that counts, yes a third of the same isn't easy but getting your dg may not please her either

[Ribenaberry]

I hope you dont mind me butting in, but i love my mum to bits, but we are not close, she has always favoured my brother (if i had time to write you a list i would!) and is the same with his son over my daughters.

I dont believe that saying, its all about how you treat your kids that makes the difference when they are older - my brother is always just popping in to my mums, i go round every sunday morning so i dont get told off!!

(I hope that helps!)

Xxx