It felt like I was due for some serendipity ...

[Kelissi]

So I've been putting a few things into Google Calendar so that I have an idea with my plan of when 90 days before, 60 days before, etc., is going to be - I barely know what day of the week it is, let alone whether I'm 90 days away from my likely fertile period in August! - and it turns out that with the Couch to 10K running program I'm following, I'll be right at being able to run for 60 minutes at a stretch when it's time for me to up my cardio to 60 minutes 6 times a week! I'm glad that the stars aligned that way.

So, right now I'm running about 3x a week and doing yoga daily. When I kick up the exercise about 8 weeks before TTC, I'm going to keep the yoga because it helps me to be chill and limber and avoid injuries and then be alternating days between running and the elliptical, taking one day off a week to have a date, drink wine and watch a movie with my husband, and get to catch up on soooo many Fresh Air with Terry Gross interviews while exercising! Any other favorite hour-long podcasts/movies/TV shows to recommend?

Also, if anyone wants an update, husband is still demoted from Dear Husband since he's still really being negative and blocking the idea of a third child, but I'm realizing that's not a problem with me. I've been going, "If only the house were cleaner or the kids were better behaved" or whatever ... and I don't think that'd make any difference at all. All I can do right now is bring openness and honesty to the counseling we're doing and hope that his heart opens up - I don't think stressing myself over the fact that I haven't vaccuumed is doing anyone any favors.

[WantingPink]

I am sorry about your H (formerly DH) not being understanding. It took years for mine to come around to the idea of a 3rd. Men just don't understand how much children mean to us. I don't think it is the same for most men. I think what bothered me the most was I had made many sacrifices and compromises and felt like I gave up everything I had for my DH and his career yet he wasn't open to a 3rd baby?? I was very resentful and angry with him. He openly said he didn't want a daughter and he was happy with having the two boys. I had even considered divorcing him... not because I wanted to have kids with someone else but because I felt like I was giving so much into the relationship and he wasn't willing to give me what I wanted. We didn't go to counseling but we probably should have. I think it would have moved things along a little faster and may have opened his eyes to how much I have sacrificed in my own life. Obviously, I still have some hurt feelings over it. I hope counseling helps you and your DH, it certainly can't hurt!

[girliedreamz]

Your attitude is so inspiring, Kelissi! Love the letting go. I'm trying to do more of that in my own life, but, man, is it hard. I can totally give up the vacuuming (and dishes, and laundry... yeah, my house is a mess and I'm pretending I don't care) but it's the work related stuff I just can't seem to let go. I LOVE the fast paced chaos at work, and it's so hard for me to take a chill approach.

Plus, my dh sounds so much like yours! I was on the verge of leaving him before baby #3 when I wanted to try for a girl and he was set with the 2 we had. (Like Wantingpink said, it was more of a relationship struggle issue than an "I'll leave it you don't...") Then when he agree to #3, it was a failed sway...which I'm COOL with because I have the most awesome baby boy in the universe...but it was our "for sure last baby", and trying to bring him around to a try #4 is so freakin hard. The thing is, I know that when we have that baby #4 (boy or girl), he'll be thrilled. It's the just decision process that's difficult to wrap his head around. Even now at month 3 of TTC, he's still waffling daily.

[atomic sagebrush]

Trust me, it doesn't. They just look for the next thing and the next thing to complain about. And since nothing can ever be perfect, they find it. Sorry you guys are going through it too.

[LilithWiser1979]

Kelissi (btw, is your screen name inspired by Game of Thrones? I'm a HUGE fan...have 4 of the 5 books signed by the author!) I could have written this post before TTC. I also demoted DH to H for his lack of understanding. He only wanted two, and really would have been happy with us as DINKs (double income, no kids.) He only had the 2 we have to make me happy, and was FLOORED when I wasn't happy with only boys. It took a year of couples counseling, another 3 months of me in personal counseling (where I gathered the sense of personal power and self to assert me desires) and a month of refusing sex because I was so mad at him to get my one chance. I don't know about your H, but with mine, I came to realize that much of his reticence was about wanting me all to himself to travel with, drink wine/beer with, play board games, and just generally enjoy one another's company. We have a lot in common, and other than this one issue, are a VERY happy and compatible couple. I made a blog post about this. So, I ended up feeling bad about pushing him into it because he loves me so much he just doesn't want more things distracting us and delaying us from our time alone. But I did it anyway because I knew the resentment would eat at me and destroy us if I didn't. I hope things work out for you, too.

I also was trying to work up to running for my swaying cardio, but ended up really injured. I love that you're doing yoga to prevent that from happening, but I did too, and I'd advise you to be SUPER careful. Nothing is more stressful while swaying pink than an injury that jeopardizes your ability to continue cardio. I would personally advise you to mix up the running with cycling, speedwalking, swimming and elliptical, just to make sure you can get in your exercise for a great sway.

Good luck with H and running and your pink sway

[LilithWiser1979]

Oh, and I'm an NPR junkie, as well!

[Kelissi]

Yep, Lilith, Kelissi is totally a GoT reference. I'm a geeky girl for sure - I was holding out for getting to make a daughter's middle name Targaryen, but (D)H has nixed that one .

[Kelissi]

Oh, and! I'm planning on alternating running and elliptical, so I'm doing them every other day, to avoid injuries .