WWYD? HT or Sway?

[Trike3]

If you could afford HT, would you do it? Why or why not?

DH and I would like to limit our family to 2 kids, and now that we have DS, we are facing the choice of sway or HT for a girl.
Swaying makes me nervous, because I would really like to keep our children to just the two, but I REALLY REALLY want a DD.
DH would prefer that too, but is ok with having 3 kids if a sway were to produce an opposite. He said it isn't what he wants, but he could be ok with it. No more than the three though.
I would prefer to sway, but am nervous about getting an opposite. When I think of going HT, I feel relaxed, because the gender is pretty well set. No guessing. (Of course, there are unique worries associated with HT.)
The money for HT would be hard, but I don't think it's impossible for us to do. Plus, I'm thinking the cost of HT for #2 would be much less than the cost of having 3 kids.
What do you think?

[bluebonnet22]

In your shoes I'd for sure do HT

[bluebonnet22]

And to better answer your question, we can afford HT but choose not to because my DH would prefer 2 boys and in general I prefer boys to girls as well. I'm OK with being a boy mom if that is the hand fate will be dealing me. I would do HT if I much preferred a DD this time.

[Rosie85]

If you can afford ht I would do that. It's a guarantee but then again with only 1 kid so far you could easily have a girl next time and be wasting money. For those of us with 3+ of the same gender ht is much more worth the money without wondering if it was necessary.

[2blue1pink]

We had a DD for my first pregnancy but she passed away after she was born, we have since had 2 boys (and I definitely swayed blue unknowingly for them both). We were reallllllyyyyy close to deciding to go HT for a dd. I had a consult, shockingly managed to talk my DH into it, and then chickened out and am throwing myself into a sway the best I can.

For me, there are a lot of things that played into it.
Foremost, it is the money. While we can afford it technically, we wouldn't be able to afford to travel to like HRC or somewhere like that and do it. And it would be a sacrifice of something else for us financially, and to me there is too much of a risk element (of it not working or taking many cycles) to spend that much money that we could be using for our family. (And this is with IVF insurance coverage that we are lucky to have- the meds and PGD won't be covered so those are the main costs I was considering when factoring it.)

We couldn't really agree with what to do with extra embryos if we had any.

There is just something about it I'm not comfortable with and can't really shake that. I know if we did it, got our dd, but then something went wrong, etc. I would feel like it was 'punishment' for trying to go HT. I already have enough guilt issues with losing our dd, I just don't really need the stress and extra mental stuff going through my head the whole time.

Lastly, having two boys is awesome, I love it and I love being a boy mom. I can see myself having 3 boys and I would be okay with that. Not that I wouldn't love to have a living daughter, but I have always wanted 3 living kids most of all, I am at peace with having another son if our sway doesn't work. For me, I would rather risk swaying and maybe ending up with a boy instead of a girl vs. going HT and losing thousands of dollars and ending up with no transfer at all or feeling like we 'had' to transfer a xy embryo because we didn't get a xx.

Anyway, sorry for all the rambling, we JUST went through this exact same thing last month, and I surprised myself by chickening out when I had it all pretty much lined up to start. I have major kudos to anyone who does HT or sways, there are definitely "risks" to both choices, this was just was right for me when I really thought it all out.

[Makai]

We thought about going HT, but decided against it because of the extra embryos it could create. I totally understand/respect other's decisions, but it didn't feel right for us for some reason- still can't put my finger on it. Also, I really want a girl, but won't be heart broken if it's a boy. So we started our swaying adventure.

[LilithWiser1979]

DH wouldn't let me, so HT was out for us. It's hard to think about what I would have preferred now, because I know my sway was successful. The women who did 4-5-6 and more cycles without getting a healthy baby scared me, and DH had a good point that we could literally spend the boys' college funds and have nothing to show for it. No judgement on the women who chose HT! I just couldn't gamble so much of my family's financial cushion on a plan that might not even yield a baby.

[ocean]

I blogged about this choice - and if you go back to my original blog entries you'll see more.

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/blog...blog-post.html

I felt a LOT of what some of the other posters spoke about. And I still feel a little uncomfortable and doubting at times, even where I am in the process. Swaying for me would've taken more courage and comfort with either gender than I knew I had, deep down. But from what you wrote, I'd look seriously at HT. It is not easy, as you already know, but there's a peace that comes from knowing that if it works, you do get your DG.

[myurkanin817]

I would do HT in a heartbeat but we live check to check so there's no possible way. I wish we could.

[coralsky]

I also think you should seriously consider HT, from what you said in your post... There is never an easy answer to this question though... I remember this thread from a while back, and thought it might help...
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/inte...d-swaying.html
Best of luck with whatever you decide xxx