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  1. #1

    What are the symptoms of pre natal depression?

    Anyone suffered/suffers from pre natal depression and can tell me about it? I am worried I have developed some kind of pregnancy depression. I can function at work and in daily life. I am quite happy about most things in my life except this pregnancy and coming baby.

    I hate being pregnant and can't wait for it to be over but I don't look forward to having a new baby come out of it. I am terrified of sleepless nights and life with two kids.
    I have a two year old and the first year with him was s struggle. He was a colicky baby and screamed all day long for 3,5 months. He only slept 3 hours in a row for the first 13 months.
    I regret trying for another baby so soon, I'm not ready! I don't feel any connection or love for this baby at all. With DS it all came naturally. This time it's completely different. We did sway for a girl but that failed and of course that's part of me feeling down. Would love to hear your thoughts!
    2012
    1 born 2013
    2 failed sway due August 2015

    Might try to conceive a DD through IVF/pgd in the future

  2. #2
    Dream Vet
    mommymachine's Avatar
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    I do. It has gotten progressively worse each pregnancy. Which means the worst was the last time and I failed to bond with my baby until she was 3 days old. BUT, then like a light switch, I fell head over heels in love with her and never looked back.

    Depression and anxiety during pregnancy consumes me with terrible thoughts. The thoughts were the worst part. I couldn't turn them off and am still ashamed of them. However, I know it was the chemistry in my brain, not my real thoughts.

    I feel for you But you will bond with the baby. Don't let that be something you fear. You will do awesome!!! A year from now you will not be able to imagine your life without him!
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

  3. #3
    Yup I had it too! I'm on antidepressants now and I'm not as scared as I was before to get pregnant again. I had horrible, irrealistic thoughts, but am no longer ashamed. Depression is an illness, we didn't ask for this, we can not be blamed for it. Just like you can't blame anyone for being allergic to nuts or breaking a leg. It happens to us and we can learn to cope with it. I reached out for help and found a great therapist and a doctor who prescribed me my meds. Feeling so much better now. Hope you'll feel better soon! Oh and about the bounding with the baby: 3 weeks after my first son was born, he smiled at me. That was the first time I wasn't afraid of him. Before that I thought he hated me and felt how bad of a mother I was. After that first smile I was completely and utterly in love with him. With my second son it took a day or 2 for me to actually grasp the fact he was there and I also fell head over heals with him. Hoping with the next baby it will be instantly, but if not, I know it will come. It will be alright mama, just get the help you need, you can't do this alone.
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  4. #4
    Dream Vet
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    Hi Hun,
    So much of what you wrote could have been me 9 months ago. I was terrified of my new boy coming; not just the new born baby stuff, but how I would feel about him - I already had my son, how could I love another? I hadn't really bonded with my pregnancy in the way I did first time round.
    In the end, my labour was VERY fast. When I saw him for the first time, I realised the love was already there; it was different from the birth of ds1 (where the love hit me like a tonne of bricks), with ds2 it was like if you find something treasured in your attic that you had forgotten was there
    With regards to coping, you just will; through sheer determination, hormones, necessity. It will be a bit of a blur, but it will go quickly and everyday will be different (some easier, others not). Ds2 is now 8 months old and such a gorgeous, cheeky chappy
    Right now is the worst bit, I promise
    Good luck & take care xxx
    Last edited by Kittybear; May 20th, 2015 at 05:40 AM.
    2 beautiful blue eyed boys who both own my (3 if you count DH!)
    2012 2014

    How strange it is to miss someone who has never existed... but now you are here, I recognised your beautiful face instantly, my little missing puzzle piece 2017

    'No one knows when or how their story ends...' My wonderful mum 2014.

  5. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    I've never really felt a connection to any of my babies before they were born. Not even DD. Just didn't happen. I would def. talk to a doctor though, if you are not able to function.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  6. #6
    I also think pregnancies are so abstract ykwim? Like you know there's a baby in there. You see your tummy growing, something is moving inside there, you see this babylikethingy on scans. And still with every birth I was like: oh it's really a baby! Like a duck was also a possibility I just couldn't wrap my head around that very abstract thing that was going on inside my body. And the depression just added to that, making me feel horrible and wishing I never got pregnant in the first place. But as soon as they were there, I understood what i got myself into. And it got better pretty quick. With Ds2 more quick then with Ds1.
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  7. #7
    Dream Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana-Alicia View Post
    I also think pregnancies are so abstract ykwim? Like you know there's a baby in there. You see your tummy growing, something is moving inside there, you see this babylikethingy on scans. And still with every birth I was like: oh it's really a baby! Like a duck was also a possibility I just couldn't wrap my head around that very abstract thing that was going on inside my body. And the depression just added to that, making me feel horrible and wishing I never got pregnant in the first place. But as soon as they were there, I understood what i got myself into. And it got better pretty quick. With Ds2 more quick then with Ds1.
    I do that too. They bring out the baby warmers and it hits me everytime..."oh my gosh they are expecting a baby...oh my gosh a baby is coming."
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

  8. #8
    I am currently depressed myself. I feel overwhelmed and like a failure at everything. All my relationships are failing and all i want to do is sleep. I am unsure if it comes from the pregnancy itself or if I would be depressed regardless. I am guessing it isnthe latter but it is expasperated by hormones.

    It is common to feel displaced when pregnant and worried...it is a good thing to talk about it like you are. Keep that up.
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by mommymachine View Post
    I do that too. They bring out the baby warmers and it hits me everytime..."oh my gosh they are expecting a baby...oh my gosh a baby is coming."
    Yup and you don't get used to it either. It's quite a shock everytime there's a baby being put on your chest. Wutt? Is this mine? OMG I must keep it alive, what a big huge gigantic respondibility! I can't do this! But somehow you do manage to get into a new routine and the happy moment come back and it's like the baby was always there. Just never got that cloud 9 feeling where I was super happy and in love with my baby from the start. They grew on me.
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Dana-Alicia View Post
    I also think pregnancies are so abstract ykwim? Like you know there's a baby in there. You see your tummy growing, something is moving inside there, you see this babylikethingy on scans. And still with every birth I was like: oh it's really a baby! Like a duck was also a possibility I just couldn't wrap my head around that very abstract thing that was going on inside my body. And the depression just added to that, making me feel horrible and wishing I never got pregnant in the first place. But as soon as they were there, I understood what i got myself into. And it got better pretty quick. With Ds2 more quick then with Ds1.
    This exactly. Perfectly written!
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

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