Why do you think it's predominantly women on this site?

[pinkfairydust]

I'm curious... why do you think this issue mainly attracts women or is it just because women are more prepared to talk about it? I can't work it out? Do men feel like they have less control? Do they just care less?

Me and DH both had a strong preference for a girl for our first baby and it's a boy. Whereas I'm on this site daily, my DH has barely given it a second thought and seems to be completely over GD (if he ever had it it was for about 5 minutes) and is just excited about baby. Why can't I be like that?

[maidentomother]

I definitely think most men just care way less. At least, they don't worry/stress out over it generally, though they may have strong (hidden) feelings. And they are much less inclined to want to express let alone discuss their feelings.

I think there may be an ego element too. Men have very fragile egos for the most part and most assume it's their fault if they don't get the preferred gender. Confronting any perceived weakness/failure is unbearable for many men.

[atomic sagebrush]

Women have the time to do it (I know there are many working moms on here, I just think on average most of us on here do have at least SOME more time than our male partners do) and since they're the ones who are able to do 90% of the swaying stuff, it's the motivated ladies who hang out here.

I do 110% know for a fact that there are many, many men who suffer from very severe GD and occasionally one will show up. Usually for a boy but not always. And many times their wives are completely uninterested. It's kind of hard to sway when you're a dude and your wife won't help. Impossible to do HT.

And in terms of support, I have seen it happen at least a couple dozen times back on IG mostly but even here a little bit where they ask for support and are completely hammered for it. I think that the social pressure on men who want boys OR girls is really, really heavy - way stronger than even we get it - and I think they are honestly too scared to ask about it. As in 'how dare you want a boy, you sexist pig' but then there is also this undercurrent of 'how dare you want a girl, are you a pedophile or something' Men who want boys are evil monsters and men who want girls are weird (not really but that is the perception) I think they can't win and thus don't even try.

[maidentomother]

Great points atomic. They really can't win. Kind of like with how to act as a man; you're either overly macho or a wuss. I really think men/boys need a 'masculinist' movement socially.

[trifecta]

I think it's logical because it's the woman's body doing the work of bearing children. My husband really, really wanted kids and was eager to have them but I still had to be the one to go off the pill, go to the preconception OB visit, do most of the research related to childbirth, etc. My husband would like a girl but he doesn't have the same aching need for one that I have, although he says if we had had two girls instead of two boys he would have strongly wanted to go for a third child. He really, really wanted at least one boy.