Sway Opposite

[Bettypink]

Hi -

I found out on Tuesday I am expecting my third boy. I've spent the last two years reading and researching swaying methods (read Shettles book which I regarded as a complete waste) and decided to go the GD route. I am trying to understand why my sway didn't work (I understand it does not guarantee a girl or boy) and I have no intention of trying for a fourth. This was my last try and it took a lot to convince my husband to even go for number three. All this proves to me is that no matter how hard we try there is no guarantee of a perfect outcome. I am sad, disappointed, and just am just trying to understand.

Here was my sway:

No breakfast for year
LE diet while increasing low fat carbs
Increased caffeine
24 Oz crystal light a day for six months prior
Added aspartame to coffee (at least 9 packets a day for several months before try)
Took Zyrtec week before O
Took sudafed 2x day leading up to O and three times on O
Took Benadryl for the two days before O (I have a tendency to produce an extreme amount of CM; however on the day of O I had definitely "Tamed the beast"...
PH down to 4.0-4.1, urine around 6 (measured with scientific meter)
No vitamins at all
Cranberry pills (started a year before try) & Folic acid for (started three months before try)
Temped to confirm dip and O took place (practiced temping for six months)
BD on O
Peppermint tea- 2 glasses day four weeks before O
No caffeine for hubby day of BD/O
Hubby abstained for 12 days before O to lower sperm count
Spooning position w very low penetration
Laid two minutes then jump and dump and walked around for at least 30 min after J&D
BMI down to 16.9 lost 32 lbs
Took Metamucil w all three meals for four weeks before
Took vitex two months before but stopped bc it stopped O
Rarely drank alcohol in the months before (if i did it was an apple cider beer only a couple of times)

Extra:
Chinese calendar- girl
Ions- unplugged all electronics, put rose gold jewelry on, added plants to bed side table, made a vision board

Husband did have to get a steroid shot (cortisone) the week of attempt due to an injury to his shoulder but after research I concluded it was OK
Husband does not have a lot of boys in his family history



Is there anything that stands out to anyone here as to why my sway fell opposite? I was so malnourished during this time even my teeth started to show discoloration. I have no idea how I conceived or conceived a boy. Everyone keeps telling me (friends) that it is because I had sex on day of ovulation but I felt very comfortable with it knowing everything I've read on this site. Anyone?

Thank you! Much love...

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for updating us, it is very important for me to hear from everyone who had an opposite so I can keep the statistics correct. I'm sorry the sway didn't go as we hoped but congrats on your new son.

The fact is that even under ideal circumstances we get boys 25% of the time - more realistic expectation is 70% range. Swaying just can't ever have a perfect outcome, it's just not how it works, unfortunately. If there was ever an easy to do set of things that could sway gender 100% of the time the whole human race would have died out a long time ago. So you have no way to know if you had an ideal sway and then just fell into the 25% opposites or if any of these things contributed to that.

I am really not at all certain it is in any way constructive for me to go over the sway but what jumps out to me is how much stuff you did and how detail oriented it all is. For reasons we don't totally understand, the people who do the most "kitchen sink" type sways do seem to get far more opposites and I believe that the more "control freak" a sway, the higher the chance of an opposite. So while I know it feels counterintuitive the solution if you were to decide to sway would be to get rid of the things that we have found really don't work (antihistamine, Sudafed (it was really really not a good idea to take all those together) cranberry, peppermint tea, vitex, no caffeine for hubby, no alcohol, ions, and to ease off on diet because you were far, far too strict and the level of self-control you would have had to expend to do all those things had to be very high, and that kind of personality factor may be more "set" for blue than people who are more laid back about it all.)

Plus, just the fact that you were able to conceive doing all those things indicates that you and hubby are highly fertile as a couple and highly fertile couples have the most boys. Very few people could have continued ovulating at BMI 16.9 (and for anyone who reads this, that is completely and totally not allowed for anyone ever, NO ONE should ever go below BMI 18.5 under any circumstances and BMI 21 is where I like you guys to hold steady and stop losing)

I also wonder if by starting some of the sway tactics so far in advance, that you basically gave your body way too much time in advance to get used to them and adjust. We don't know that that happens, but it's something we've speculated about. I think 12 weeks is plenty of time to start things like skipping breakfast, taking cranberry if you must take cranberry, and aspartame.

I have also reason to suspect that a high level of aspartame intake may sway blue because I've seen time and again the people ingesting the scary amounts of aspartame like you were, for the longest time, having a lot of boys, and I've written about that here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...me-thread.html

I promise you that the reason you got a boy had nothing to do with BD on O. I got my daughter with BD on O after 3 boys with cutoffs and we have tons of people BD on O and get girls. Plus scientists have debunked timing as thoroughly as it's possible for things to be debunked in science.

At the end of it all, not I nor anyone else can know why you got an opposite. I hope this was helpful to you in some way - I don't normally go over sways that are done deals but it's my hope that it gives you some sort of peace of mind.

[Bettypink]

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

[atomic sagebrush]

You're welcome - I hope it is helpful in some way.

[Throwaway_panther]

I also wonder if by starting some of the sway tactics so far in advance, that you basically gave your body way too much time in advance to get used to them and adjust. We don't know that that happens, but it's something we've speculated about. I think 12 weeks is plenty of time to start things like skipping breakfast, taking cranberry if you must take cranberry, and aspartame.

Woah, IS this something you're now observing? I think me and someone else asked you about this a little while ago in the TTC boy section and you said the longer the better on sway -- is this an observation just for girl (which clearly didn't work for me, also, as I was undereating/overexercising a long time before DD), or in general (since I've now been HE for well over two years)? Is there a sort of number of sways you noticed had more opposites with the longer they were swaying?

[Bettypink]

Yes, I also read the longer the better. I even made sure I was still losing at the time of conception... lost two lbs that week. I by no means plateau in my weight.

[Bettypink]

The only last thing I will say about my sway is that I was weight lifting w a trainer 3 days a week while I conceived my first two boys. I stopped working out w him all together in December. I have a 3 yo and 21 mo boy I stay at home with. I bought a fit bit and clocked in about 16, 000 steps a day. My two are ACTIVE and there was no way for me to not be busy so I donÂ’t know if me being moderately active contributed to this. I guess the better thing to do would have been to increase cardio everyday but my husband travels and works 60-70 hrs a week so I didnÂ’t know how to fit it in and couldnÂ’t commit with already being overwhelmed w children and housework. Now I am going to be even more active w THREE boys. Scary!

[atomic sagebrush]

Woah, IS this something you're now observing? I think me and someone else asked you about this a little while ago in the TTC boy section and you said the longer the better on sway -- is this an observation just for girl (which clearly didn't work for me, also, as I was undereating/overexercising a long time before DD), or in general (since I've now been HE for well over two years)? Is there a sort of number of sways you noticed had more opposites with the longer they were swaying?

It is a theoretical concern I have always had that over the course of time some PINK SWAYERS ONLY will give their bodies time to adjust to the changes in diet if they stay on a very calorie-restricted diet for ages beforehand. (Blue swayers, as long as you are not gaining weight and not eating tons and tons of sodium/carbs such as bananas and potatoes and bread at every meal /processed foods it is fine to be on the sway diet as far in advance of a sway as is feasible.) This is how and why some people can always be very thin and not eat a lot is that over the course of time, your body will adjust and will regain fertility. Some people eat 1500 cals a day and have boys, others eat 3000 cals a day and have boys, but the lady going from 3000 to 1500, her body will be like wha...??? and will register that as a decline in food intake that needs to be taken note of. If she continues to eat 1500 cals a day over the course of time, in a year or 2 or 3 or longer depending on the indivdual, her body will likely adjust to that and gradually regain its fertility as her metabolism shifts.

This is NOT set in stone the way you're thinking of it, though. Among women who are eating 1500 cals a day and are exercising to excess, there will still very likely be majority girls conceived but my point is simply that over the course of time, people's metabolism will shift, their bodies will start saving up more nutrients from the foods they eat, and their bodies (our bodies WANT to be pregnant, and they're very good at getting pregnant even in less than ideal circumstances) will gradually adjust fertility accordingly.

I have had this concern since the earliest days of the site. Not a new concern at all. At first we honestly didn't know if it would be better to shock one's body or to do a slow and steady approach. Over time we have learned slow and steady is better for pink than brief and shocking, but this does not therefore translate into the concept that being on diet for a year beforehand is in any way a good idea. Slow and steady does not mean "diet for a year before swaying" (and BTW - this poster did not even DO that, she just skipped breakfast, which I seriously doubt had anything to do with the outcome of her sway, she asked me to speculate so I listed some possibilities and that is all they are, possibilities.)

I don't make a big thing about swaying for too long in advance on the boards because among pink swayers, virtually none of them are doing these sway tactics for a year in advance of swaying and thus I have no reason to be telling people this day in and day out...I am simply not getting that as a question with any frequency at all so maybe people are not seeing me say that? IDK. I will sometimes have people go vegetarian or skip breakfast that far in advance of swaying but that is mostly because some people cannot live mentally/emotionally without doing SOMETHING for a sway in advance and if I don't have them do that, they'll go all in on a sway diet. Not because I super believe in it as any kind of effective sway tactic.

The LE Diet is fine to be on indefinitely when done properly. We know based on our results that up to 6 months, we still get good results with that. But like I say, I do have and always have had this concern in the back of my mind and so I am extremely discouraging of everyone who comes to me and wants to start a pink sway 1-2 years in advance (not to mention they are torturing themselves for no reason and are making it exponentially harder to get and stay pregnant) and that is in no way new at all.

At no point in time have I ever told a single person to drink aspartame or take cranberry or any other supplements other than folic acid for a year before swaying.

I cannot give you any kind of number where people had more opposites the longer they were swaying. There are too many variables that come into play, starting with the concept that people relax on swaying over time and also the people who take the longest to conceive often have fertility issues which may indicate they are more set for pink to start with.

All these are theoretical concerns in a thread I was asked (against my better judgement) to speculate in. I tossed out several possibilities but I really do think that the majority of sways produce opposites due to first and foremost, bad luck, and second, the control freak personality factor (or lack thereof for blue swayers) and I really do urge you guys not to get hung up on this one minor thing I tossed out as a possibility because it's not meant to be taken as anything other than me, off the top of my head. Skipping breakfast gets 67% success. Cranberry is at 61% and aspartame is at 64%. LOTS of people use these things and still get opposites regardless of how long they've taken them and I'm simply pointing out anything that jumped out to me that I felt was unneccesary and could have possibly, even if it is a DISTANT possibility, had any minor effect on results.

[atomic sagebrush]

The only last thing I will say about my sway is that I was weight lifting w a trainer 3 days a week while I conceived my first two boys. I stopped working out w him all together in December. I have a 3 yo and 21 mo boy I stay at home with. I bought a fit bit and clocked in about 16, 000 steps a day. My two are ACTIVE and there was no way for me to not be busy so I donÂ’t know if me being moderately active contributed to this. I guess the better thing to do would have been to increase cardio everyday but my husband travels and works 60-70 hrs a week so I didnÂ’t know how to fit it in and couldnÂ’t commit with already being overwhelmed w children and housework. Now I am going to be even more active w THREE boys. Scary!

I think you need to stop looking for reasons why this happened. We'll never know why and while I will never stop looking and trying to better the sway, for you guys it is just a source of unhappiness wondering "was it this? was it that?" from now till forever. It was NO ONE THING.

Again, the major reason why people get opposites is bad luck. I know it is hard to hear but that's all it boils down to. Somewhere between 25-40% opposites are what we get with all the various sway tactics and it appears that there is just a theoretical upper limit to swaying that we can't overcome. The other thing is the control freak stuff and that's not easy to control or compensate for (and truly, the more you try to control your control freak, it's simply another manifestation of control freakishness anyway!) Those two things are the bulk of failed sways IMO. Things that are completely out of our control and we can't do anything about, really, anyway.

Have you read this yet?? It may help as I go into some of this stuff in more detail than I have here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...12-8-17-a.html