Team green

[3boysalready]

Hello! So I’m not even pregnant yet but I started ttc this month. My husband and I decided to go team green as we have 4 boys already and it would be better for my gd to be handed that precious little boy at birth than know and be sad all pregnancy. My question is should I get the 13 week nub shot? It’s obviously not a definite way to know the gender but it may give me some clues. Not sure what to do! Thanks l!


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[ksmom]

Personally I chose not to even get a nuchal scan with DS3 because I knew I'd be obsessing over the nub until the gender was confirmed. After my initial 6 week scan I opted to wait until my anatomy scan to find out gender. It was hard waiting that long but at least at that point it was obvious he was definitely a boy. I kinda wish I'd been team green though...sucked being upset the rest of my pregnancy. So I guess it all just depends on what you think you'd do if you had a good nub shot. If it was very boy looking would it upset you? If it looked girly would you cave and go get a scan? What if it was ambiguous, would it drive you crazy the whole pregnancy? Just some things to think about. Good luck with whatever you decide and pink dust to you.

[3boysalready]

Thank you! If it looked girly I wouldn’t cave but I might get my hopes up too high. If it looked boyish I would be disappointed but maybe it would help for my expectations not to be so high? Ahhh! How do people just have boys and girls and not worry about this. [emoji23]


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[atomic sagebrush]

If going Team Green it is very important NOT to get a scan or indulge in anything like old wives' tales, symptom spotting, and so on that may cause you to get your hopes high.

I am honestly not a fan of Team Green as I have seen some people sink into a deep depression when they got an opposite. So please, please go in expecting a boy and then maybe you'll get a nice surprise. Do NOT psych yourself up for a girl and then go Team Green as that is a recipe for unhappiness right when you need to have everything together for a new baby.

[3boysalready]

Thanks! I thought team green would be the least devastating! But I see what you mean! I’ll definitely think it over more.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Hm - in my experience that hasn't been the case, but as long as you go in knowing - REALLY KNOWING - it can be be a girl or a boy, that's the important thing. Don't go in there thinking "Oh I just KNOW it's a girl, I just know it, I feel it in my heart, and all the OWT and symptoms PROVE that!" because that has ended badly for some people.

As in, put into a mental institution badly. As in, having a hysterical breakdown in the delivery room and having to be sedated badly. As in, blacking out and waking up 2 days later in a hospital and no one will tell you what happened badly. As in, wanting to put your baby up for adoption badly and taking steps to make that happen.

Not making this up. Go Team Green with an extreme amount of caution and only if you are absolutely certain you can handle it.

[3boysalready]

Wow!! I believe it! I’ll really give this some thought!


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[Throwaway_panther]

Yeah, this is so tricky. I am going Team Green for your reasons, but I also often advocate finding out since I wanted a son desperately with DD, kept her sex secret from everyone, and we had nearly all boy guesses and I had a lot of "boy" OWTs. I probably would have been gutted -- and ALSO not have found this site and discovered swaying.

Now I go Team Green because I legitimately don't trust myself to keep another girl after all I've gone through but desperately want DD to have a sibling at all now since I'm at the tail end of the age gap I wanted. I am also doing this because I had such debilitating antepartum depression because of my GD that I'd rather just go through this pregnancy with blinders on.

Now all this said, I went in for the nuchal and told the tech I didn't want to see nub. She gave me shots "without the nub" I still obsessed over thinking I saw nub. Next of course will be the stress of anatomy scan.

I think there is no right answer and everyone is different. I wouldn't have been able to go Team Green with my first pregnancy, but feel it's definitely the safest option for me now. It could be reversed for others. Etc.

[3boysalready]

That makes great sense TP. I hope so much we both get our heart’s desire!


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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes anyone who really thinks it will be easier for them to go Team Green by all means. But I have found several women who probably needed to find out going Team Green for reasons that don't seem valid to me...like they don't want to be sad during pregnancy (meaning, they want to 100% completely and totally believe it's their desired gender till the last minute), their husband wants them to, that kind of thing...it just worries me when it is approached as either a delay of bad news (not dealing with the reality of an opposite) or because someone else wants them to do that.

Team Green - totally cool if it works for you, of course, just be sure u have your eyes wide open going into it and thatyou're doing it for you, not for what someone else thinks is the right thing for you to do.