TR & Swaying, IVF or HT??

[BoyDreaming]

With three of our four daughters I conceived with the help of Clomid. DD4 was conceived while I was on the mini pill and BFing DD3.

A few months ago I had a tubal because of pressure from DH and my family. My pregnancies have been complicated to say the least. My family keeps telling me, "Either your luck or the baby's luck will run out one of these days." Okay, fine, I get it that they're concerned. But... I don't feel "done." I have deeply regretted the tubal ever since I first awoke from it afterwards. I can still feel the numbness and bitterness of it.

DH and I have been in talks over the past couple months about either a tubal reversal or HT. I could have enough saved in a year or less for the tubal reversal, which is really enticing. But there's no guarantee of a son or even a pregnancy. And there's no ethical dilemma regarding girls vs. boys. With IVF, there are several packages that guarantee a baby. With HT, I get what I want. DH isn't worried about gender, he only wants a healthy baby in the end. I know I would be happy with whatever I got on delivery day, but then I go back to the costs. Ughh. I don't know what to do. I don't understand why I feel so torn.

[nuthinbutpink]

HT 1000% percent.

[LolaInLove]

I agree...spend your money where you know it will make the most impact and get you what your heart really desires.

[BoyDreaming]

The biggest problem I have with this process is I know I want a son and I want to see DH with our son, but at the same time, I have pains in hands thinking about writing that check in the end! I don't want the girls to ever know, and I most certainly don't ever want them to feel like if we ever do have a son that their brother is worth more to us.

DH and I talked about this extensively over the long weekend. His comments were, "We don't have to make a decision regarding it this second." And then there was... "When we get the money together, we'll know what's right for us." But he kept assuring me he's okay with #5. I love him, but sometimes I would like to smack him too!

Thank you for your comments. =)

[LolaInLove]

Well, he's got a point- you could wait and save and see what you feel like doing then? We are kind of on the IVF path now ourselves because of male factor infertility, but I go back and forth about it for various reasons. I'm kind of thinking we should just save and then reassess what we want in 6-8 months. (We'd plan on doing it July/Aug 2013, in Prague also, it's way cheaper and just as good.) On that note, can you just do regular IVF? We are going to Prague because it's about $5K there instead of $20K+ in the US (they just have national health care and no lobbyists or insurance companies, etc jacking up the costs of medical care like the lovely US medical practices do). It sounds crazy, I know, but it's the only way we could afford it ourselves. I absolutely HATE the idea of forking over $20K+ for that myself. It would take us years to save that also, and by that time, I'd probably be in menopause anyway. I'm 36, so time is of the essence. Just a thought- I'd be happy to send you the info if you want.

[RedCanoe]

You don't ever need to tell people about the GS part. You do IVF because your tubes are tied, and the GS can be your secret if you don't want your girls to ever know about it... but yeah, it IS expensive...

[LolaInLove]

You don't ever need to tell people about the GS part. You do IVF because your tubes are tied, and the GS can be your secret if you don't want your girls to ever know about it... but yeah, it IS expensive...

Exactly! And I forgot there you were doing GS- I don't think they do that in Prague, but there are surely other places that will outside of the US. Could just get a credit card and put it on that and pay it off. Also, the IVF clinics have financial reps who help you figure that stuff out.