Pregnant, now thinking what have i done :(

[lightofmylifexxxy]

Not really sure how to explain my feelings, but anyway..... I am pregnant, just over 5 weeks. I should be happy. We tried for this, now i have my BFP i am feeling so scared and anxious.

I am not sleeping, not hungry and keep crying non stop. I have 2 beautiful children already, DS 8 and DD 6. I am not sure how they are going to react when they find out they have an brother or sister coming. My DS always told me he never wanted me to have another baby he is happy with the way things are. I am so scared how he will react it is making me feel ill. Not to mention my mum. She thinks i have the perfect 'pidgeon pair' why would I have another with the way the world is? I suffered with PND after DS. Always loved him to bits, but didn't realised why i was anxious, unable to sleep or eat. Finally it got diagnosed and i was able to get help and i healed very quickly. I was fine after the birth of DD, as i was so happy to have a daughter.

I really feel i should have just been happy with the 2 children i already have, but something inside me kept thinking of having another. Now i think - what have I done? DH doesn't know i feel this way, and i am not going to tell him.

I pray these feelings with go away. i am so scared i will not be able to bond with this baby, it terrifies me. Whats more, the fact i am hoping for a DD2 makes it ten times worse. What if it is a boy? I should be happy to be pregnant when there are women struggling with fertility.

Please help

[BeadinMom]

Honestly, if I were you, I'd call my doctor and ask for advice. He may prescribe something to help. I went through it with DS3 and it was awful....my doctor totally understood and prescribed something right away. It definitely helped and the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful and happy.
Hope you find the comfort and help you need.

[nuthinbutpink]

I think it's normal to worry about disturbing your existing dynamic. Change is scary. I think there are lots of positives to having 3- your other 2 are older and it won't be hard with a baby given their ages- they may really embrace the experience and turn into great helpers. Give them a chance to be excited before you worry too much about how they will react- they may surprise you. I do remember when I was 10 when my parents took us for a walk and told us about soon to be sibling #4...I wasn't pleased at first. I got over it and of course can't imagine life without that sibling now!

They are kids. Mine say all kinds of crazy silly things- you can't really live and die by what an 8 and 6 year old tell you what they are feeling TODAY. That can change in an instant!!

Congrats!

[5littlegirls]

Change is scary... especially now that you and hubby have this secret. I think that when you do share your news it will become more real and the fun and planning can really begin. When I found out about DD 5 I was scared to even tell my mom... but once it got out it was so much better.

Maybe take a solo trip to babies r us and buy something small for the baby. You can start the bonding and connection there. That helped me get over my gender dissapointment, I'm sure it will help in your case also.

[pearl]

Congrats, wish you a healthy baby!!! Stay positive hormones do change our moods a lot, one minute we want to cry then we laugh.....enjoy live and try to be happy!!!

[Cinss]

First of all don't worry about what anyone will think of you adding another child to your family. It is your decision and there is no rule saying once you have a boy and a girl you must stop there. Babies are awesome, and it is normal to wonder how another person will fit in with existing family members, but when they come, they just do, and it was like it was always ment to be.

[lightofmylifexxxy]

You ladies have all made my spirits brighter - thank you all so much for taking time to reply to me - it means the world to know I am not alone. I am sure that the hormones are going crazy, and i am trying very hard to be positive. I also worry obsessively that the baby will be healthy (as i am nearing 40). I hope these feelings go away, as i want to try and enjoy this pregnancy without so much sadness and worry. x

[sixhappysons]

I think everything you have expressed is normal. I am feeling the exact same way STILL and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Can't help but keep saying to DH "we should have been more careful".
I'm hoping these feeling will pass once I've seen the bubba on a scan. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel.

[skrimpy]

I also had a pigeon pair and decided to add #3 (and more...) - I know it's hard but don't worry about what others think.

As for your DC now, they will be enriched for a sibling. My DC love the idea of a new baby each time now. All children say they don't want siblings around sometimes, but they that's normal. Everyone has times they want to be alone or away from family members. There are also many times when they need them. This little DC3 could end up being best friend to your DC1 . Or to DC2!

My DC3 was my sweetest, easiest baby and still has the most wonderful disposition. Anytime I need help, DC3 is right there, helping me without complaint (DC1 and 2 are horrible complainers lol!). All children are a blessing and help us and their siblings grow.

I struggled a lot with prenatal depression during my last pregnancy and talking to my midwife was incredibly helpful to me. I also made sure to take the time to care for myself because it made a big difference in how well I could care for my family. If you're having a hard time I would def recommend you tell your doctor or midwife about it!

[auroara78]

I'd like to add that while I planned my sway and really wanted to get pregnant, I was very sad and regretful from week 5-9. Then it got better, but i felt like I fell into a black hole...nothing made me happy, I didn't want to eat, I was full of worry about not waiting longer (DS2 was only 8 months when we concieved DD), and worried about gender as well. Things did get better around 9 weeks, and I think for more a lot of it was hormonal, but I had to deal with the things I hadn't dealt with before, like the idea of overextending our family, money, what would DS1 think? He wasn't crazy about DS2 at first, but then I realized that children really do adapt. We adapt.

Give it a little time, try not to be too hard on yourself...you will adjust...even if at first it is diffcult going from 2 to 3 (I am due in Sept. so haven't gotten there yet!) your family will figure it out, and your DH will LOVE this new child! My DH was also a little fearful over "what had we done" but now he is geninuely excited to meet the baby and can't stop talking about it.