Annoying mother!

[Kitty0911]

Okay. My mother had three girls. I obviously know that I have two boys, but she constantly makes it a point to remind me. We were going to rummage sales this weekend together and I happened to point out some really cute infant GIRL shoes. She said "yeah, well, I have the girls. You only have boys." Like I didn't already know that??!! Yes mother, I am rather aware of the gender of my children. It's as if every chance she gets she enjoys rubbing it in that I don't have a daughter. I have finally come to terms with the fact that this last baby is probably a boy. I am actually excited and started picking out cute boy names and looking at adorable boy clothes. But, every time she brings up the fact that I don't have a daughter that pain that I have worked so hard to push away comes back. Some days I don't even want to be around her. I have actually decided that no one will get to know the gender of this baby except DH and I. I want her to sit and have it drive her crazy that she doesn't know. I'm even tempted to say "her" if it's a boy just to get her hopes up and have her just as devastated as I am at the birth. She also won't be in the delivery room this time either. I don't need her constant hysterics while I try and give birth to my last baby. I guess I'm just sick of her in general. I wish I had a good relationship with my mother, but she is so hard to be around. I can't stand her! I know I'm probably being a little over dramatic.
Thanks for letting me vent

[RKT Mama]

I fully get why you are irritated but I wonder if she is projecting her GD on you? She had 3 girls and it is likely she would have loved to have had a boy even if she doesn't admit it. Maybe your 2 boys remind her what she didn't get and like many of us often feel, doesn't really want you to get your girl, as then you will have the both gender family she didn't?
Either that or she may be trying a misguided attempt to appear is supportive if you do have another boy.
Of course this is just a theory as I don't know you or your mum but I always try to believe people say stupid things out of love or ignorance rather than trying to be mean.

[3littleladies]

I agree with RKT, but I can totally understand why you would be upset with your mum, why don't you tell her how you're feeling, she's probably not even aware of what she's doing!

[3littleladies]

By the way your boys are adorable!

[Kitty0911]

My mother wanted to have 5 girls but because of health issues she had to stop at three. Any time my boys act out she says "I'm so thankful I had girls. I never had to deal with such bad behavior." Every pregnancy she has said I needed to have a girl so she could renew her vows to my dad. She wants a flower girl and since my sisters have made it clear they have no interest in children she puts all the pressure on me. She may have some GD because of the fact that she doesn't get to have a granddaughter, but to me that should make her more sensitive to how I feel. I'm worried if I do have a daughter she will play favorites and my poor boys will feel left out. She already acts as if they are little monsters.
I also should mention she does not know I am pregnant and won't until Christmas. If she knew I was pregnant the comments would me MUCH worse.

[Kitty0911]

Thank you 3littleladies

[ocean]

First of all, your boys are so completely adorable. Love that picture!

I think you should be honest with your mom - she may not realize it but her comments hurt you - so no more gender comments please.

I need to take my own advice btw...my mom does similar things but I think doesn't realize how it hurts me. She said about my baby recently 'he even sounds like a boy' - and I know she loves him, so her judgment and wording choice are just off. So feedback it shall be!

[Precious3]

I just experienced something like this today. Mom had 1 boy then me, then surprise baby 13 years later, girl. I have 2 wonderful sons (I have a picture very similar to yours). Today she was telling me how nervous she is about me not getting a girl (this is our last) and what a pity that would be since I would make a great girl mom. I told her that that hurt me very much because whatever this child is, he ALREADY IS, and we should be happy for who he/she is regardless. I wanted to say that many would give ANYTHING to have such healthy and smart boys as mine, but I didn't because my brother was born with mild mental retardation and didn't want to hurt her, but I don't get why doesn't she see it herself!


Me (29) and DH (30)
DS1 - 2010
DS2 - 2012
Expecting #3 (and last!) by March-April 2014

[3littleladies]

Thank you 3littleladies

Your welcome, if I were your mother I would be so proud to have your little boys as my grandsons.

[SoulSister]

I hear you.
Some mothers do say things to intentionally hurt their children. And if you say something about it, you are only confirming that it is working.
My mother only wanted daughters and granddaughters.
I also will not be sharing the news with anyone, they can work it out themselves