I didnt know where to post this, GD or High tech so I decided to put it hereFeel free to move it if you feel it is more appropriate elsewhere.
I have spent the last 11 years of my life desperately trying to get that little girl I always assumed I would have, and I think, that has made me not realise what was in front of me all of the time. We have just had the most horrible situation in our family, my SIL (DH's sister) has died unexpectedly at a young age and we have all had to say goodbye to her. It has been awful, so very sad and unnecessary it had a lot to do with medical negligence and most likely could have been avoided. Her funeral was thursday, it was a horrible yet lovely day. Her family done her so proud. My DH's family is predominantly boys, there is loads of them, and most of them are older. They are all so close with their mam's, it made me realise that I dont know what the hell I have been thinking all of these years? I see boys in a new light, They have their moments but what kid doesnt?
My other BIL and SIL have just had a baby girl, I was insanely jealous when I heard they were having a girl, I have dreaded having to see her. I saw her on thursday, she is adorable and so tiny. I held her for ages but it didn't make me at all broody and I wasn't jealous at all. It was nice to give her back to her mother who had to mess on with the nappies and feeding instead of me for a change, lol.
My focus on life has changed, I am looking forward to spending more time with my DH and having our brood of boys around us. I dont want any more kids, I have everything I want alreadyI have had one failed HT cycle and have been planning another for some time now, we were going later in the year but it's all off and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know the option is there if I ever change my mind but for now im 100% happy with my descision. Of course I will be sticking round, still love it here but I will just be giving advice and general chit chat
Thanks to everyone who has given me advice in the past on my GD and HT journeys, I wouldnt have been able to come through it without you all![]()
Results 1 to 10 of 11
Thread: I have done a complete U-turn
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March 28th, 2011, 04:25 AM #1Dreamer
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- 187
I have done a complete U-turn
4 x2000, 2003, 2007, 2009
Praying foror
with IVF/PGD
Cycle 1. Farah clinic, 12 eggs, 9 mature, 3 fertilised, 2 made it to PGD both XY...No transfer
Cycle 2. Hopefully with Dr Potter, coming soon!
Have now decided to cancel all HT plans and move on with my 4 boys. GD has ruled my life for too long!
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March 28th, 2011, 05:42 AM #2
Sorry to hear of the passing of your sil xxxxx
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March 28th, 2011, 05:59 AM #3
I'm sorry about your SIL.
I TOTALLY can relate with your decision. Sometimes I feel I'm done and ultimately blessed with my 2 girls ( well, most of the time) but then again time comes when I'm thinking: in 10 years, what if I regret for not trying for a boy? ( I'm not trying to change your mind or something, just want to share my feelings) It's better to regret something I've done then something I didn't LOLOL!
It was GD board on ig that actually helped me to realize how much I enjoy being a mom of 2 girls. It was really a shift in my perception.
However I'm still trying for mytil the end of this year. If nothing happens by then, I will give up without any regrets, because, like you, I already have what I want
Baby boy is going to be just a bonus! LOLOL!
Enjoy your beautiful family!!!!m/c 2001
2003
2007
2012 failed sway
2014 my surprise baby
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March 28th, 2011, 07:42 AM #4
I am sorry about your SIL.
I was watching Oprah Winfrey and her Masters series and she was the first one on to speak and I have heard her say before that you wander around in life until you figure out what your purpose is and life sends you whispers at first until something big happens that you eventually notice to make you understand your purpose, your life's calling. It's terrible that it took an event like your SIL's passing but perhaps in some way, everything you have been doing and thinking until this point has culminated in this vision on what you really want out of life. That's just awesome and I am happy for you.
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March 28th, 2011, 11:15 AM #5Dreamer
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Posts
- 187
Thanks everyone, it was a complete shock that she died and she left 3 amazing kids behind, thay have done her so proud, they are all in their mid to late teens. The whole thing has just made me value all of my family more, not just my immediate family but my extended family too.
NBP, thats exactly how I feel. Its like a switch has clicked and I feel free. I have disgussed it with DH that I need to know the option is there if I need to change my mind but I just feel free and happy for the first time in ages
Z-B I know where you are coming from, I would and did feel the same when I had 2, I wanted 3 and DH wanted 2. But No4 was my last chance (naturally) and he is a boy, then I gave HT a go and it didnt work. I feel like I have tried it didn't work and now the time has passed. Im done with babies! I am 29 and I know thats not old but I have had a baby for all of my adult life and now I want to look forward to raising them and having a life with my DH, we have never had time to ourselves. There are plenty of options in the future if I do have any regrets, Id say I have 10 yrs to change my mind, then I have also thought about adopting an older girl? But I dont really feel like I am missing out anymore? I have felt like this on and off for a while now and now I just feel really happy with my descisionI really hope it stays like it, lol!
4 x2000, 2003, 2007, 2009
Praying foror
with IVF/PGD
Cycle 1. Farah clinic, 12 eggs, 9 mature, 3 fertilised, 2 made it to PGD both XY...No transfer
Cycle 2. Hopefully with Dr Potter, coming soon!
Have now decided to cancel all HT plans and move on with my 4 boys. GD has ruled my life for too long!
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March 31st, 2011, 08:02 PM #6Dream Newbie
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Posts
- 22
I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your SIL.
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March 31st, 2011, 08:35 PM #7
Nicola, I am SO VERY SORRY. Huge (((hugs))) for all of you. I am glad you have some piece of mind with GD and just know that if a time ever comes and you are struggling, I too continue to carry on moving forward with life after GD, without my DG, and you can message me at any time if you ever want to talk.
Love and best wishes to you.!!! Questions??Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:
https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ
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April 1st, 2011, 06:19 AM #8
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April 1st, 2011, 09:30 AM #9Dream Newbie
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Posts
- 16
your post has really made me think about what's important to me
sorry about your sil
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April 2nd, 2011, 05:22 PM #10Dream User
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
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- 68
I'm so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}} I'm glad to hear that you are coming to peace with your GD, I am also in that boat & have been realizing that what I DO have is more than I could've ever imagined! All I could ever think about was my future DD, but I'm now coming to terms with the fact that it may not be in the cards for me either. It's so nice to FINALLY reach that place in your heart isn't it!?!