How to prepare for the outcome of the gender scan

[Falling2Grace]

My u/s isnt until April 2nd. We sway girl (we have two boys). This our last and final baby. So this IS it. I remember how i felt the first two times the tech said "it's a boy!". I cried both times. The first time wasn't that bad because i knew i would be having more babies. The second time, I absolutly SOBBED. For a looonnnggg time. We wanted to be done at #2, but decided we would stretch for a third. But this time it really is the end of the road for me. I was so depressed after finding out #2 was a boy. I didn't fall in love with him until quite a few months after the birth (and it was uninterrupted, natural birth at home, so i wasn't expecting for it to take so long *sigh*). Obviously, i love him to pieces now, but the entire time it took us to concieve and the entire time that he has been here (actually ever since i found out he was a boy), ive been heartbroken. Now since i finally got my BFP, i have hope for a baby girl. But part of me feels like it's just not in the cards i feel like things like that don't happen to me...Anyways, i want ideas for how to prepare for the 20 week scan. Some ppl have suggested convincing myself a boy, but that doesn't work for me. I did that with DS2 and clearly that had no effect. Part of me still feels hopeful for a princess, but the other part of me can hear those words "it's another boy!". So i am looking for advice on how to decrease the sadness, should i hear its a boy (and if its a girl this mama is going on a shopping spree!!!! HAHA). Someone talked about shopping for boy stuff, but we alredy have two boys and we have everything we need (probably more than we need). Ideas?

also, my MIL and my mom were both upset each time i had a boy, so i know im going to have to deal with that if this should be boy #3. I wish i didn't have to deal with their comments. I dont need to deal with their disappointment when i have my own to tend to. so if there is any advice for that, would love to hear it.

[Girlsway]

This is also my dilemma. I still feel hopeful we are expecting a little girl, but odds are higher for a boy. This is definitely our last baby too, we never wanted 4 only 3. I had a scan yesterday and we were given a nice picture from which my hubby thinks it's a girl, but I worry he is just saying it to keep me happy. It does make me feel better because it encourages my hope but will that set myself for a bigger fall? The sonographer promised to guess the gender on 18.2. the 12 wk US. I am counting days now but as you I'd like to prepare myself. I can't wait for any suggestions too.

[jennaesue]

Well, I'm gearing up for my gender ultrasound in exactly 2 weeks (ahhh!) and after 3 boys, and I am really, really hoping for a girl. This is the first time I swayed, so I am very slightly hopeful it could be a girl. But I have mostly been telling myself it's a boy. I really want to be convinced it's a boy so I am not getting my hopes up. Here are the things I am doing or plan to do to combat GD. For one thing, at the scan, I'm going to ask the tech to not tell me the gender, but to show me the parts so I can see for myself, and then get confirmation. Somehow, that seems better to me than having to hear the official proclamation "it's a boy!" Also, I talked dh into using the boy name I like that he has shot down with our last two boys, so that makes me a little happy. And I keep telling myself all the reasons another boy would be great (we already have lots of clothes and toys, boys are awesome, they each have their own little personality, etc.) My MIL Is a major GD trigger for me, because she just doesn't understand and keeps saying things like "well, you know, as long as it's healthy you should be happy" (as if I didn't think having a healthy baby is the number one priority!) and she is basically trying to convince me to want another boy. My sister has 3 boys and she somehow doesn't seem to get GD either. So I plan to avoid both of them for awhile after my scan, if it is a boy. My mom is great, so she will listen to me and help me deal with my emotions. I just plan on being easy on myself, and letting myself be sad and cry and work through my emotions. I am trying to think of something special to do for myself as a present if it is a boy; I'm still working on that.

[hopingforsaskia]

A friend of mine has decided that if she has a 3rd boy, she's going to buy herself a full gold pandora bracelet. She wanted to do something solely for herself that she knows she would never otherwise do.

For me, I had to think of a killer name. (Killer, as in awesome..) And I have finally just now decided on that. I haven't checked with hubby but I'm sure he'll understand that this is something I need. Hehe. I too was trying to convince myself from the beginning that this is a boy. Hasn't worked mind you, but at least I've tried, right? Also I wanted to do a 3D scan of this one no matter what gender so that I can try and connect with her/him. That way too I can eliminate that feeling of guilt and the thought that I'm heartless and don't care as much about this one if its "just another boy".. I'm thinking I'll have a celebratory breakfast or lunch too if it's a boy, so that I can at least put on a show of "we love him, and we're excited, and you should be too!"

I don't know if any of that helps at all, but that's my plan. Hugs xx

[jark22]

Personally- I don't think there is any way to lessen the sadness initially. Especially if you have swayed and very hopeful of a particular gender. You just have to go through the emotions....

I am currently preggo with my third boy. This is our last baby- so I am officially an all boy mom. I cried for about a week and just grieved the daughter I will never have.....the experience I will never get. I had an especially hard time because my mom died 9 months ago- so not having a girl means I will never, ever have a mother/daughter relationship again What has helped me is to find other all boy moms. They have helped me to realize that I have something special- and that gender does not truly matter.....but personalities and strong bonds do. I have surrounded myself with boy moms in both real life and through blogs. It really helps when others can relate. I feel like I now belong to a special secret club LOL!

I can't say that I won't feel a twinge of sadness the next time I hear of a friend having a little girl- but I can tell you that I am absolutely excited to meet my newest little man. I am so thankful to have the job to raise these boys to be great men. My boys deserve to have a mother who knows how incredibly lucky she is to have them- no matter their gender.

Just know that even if you are having another boy- you will be fine and you will be happy.

Here is my favorite quote: "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell

[My Three Sons]

Well, considering DH didn't agree to try for #4 until I had gotten rid of the baby clothes, I plan on buying cute precious newborn clothes to get excited if I hear boy. Of course, I keep migrating over to the girl section to look at all the pretty pink...

[iluvmy4sons]

I am having a 5th baby not sure what my baby is either. I have 4 boys. I keep telling myself that it is a boy and calling him by his name Owen. My husband does not want to find out for sure, but says I can. If I do I am not telling anyone and just saying baby was uncooperative. I will buy a few newborn outfits. I know I will be a little sad still.

[my4leafclover]

I just wanted to reply and tell you all what a fantastic group of ladies you are. I was reading through this threads replies and they are so thoughtful and some inspiring. It is so very nice and necessary to feel understood in this. I wish it were that easy to share this and have compassion from people IRL. I was telling my dh the other day what a strange feeling it is to be so happy to have a healthy baby and to be able to experience this again and at the same time be so sad about never having a dd. It is hard sometimes to keep that sadness at bay. When we get our results and know for sure 100% boy, I know it will be an emotional day. I have been sharing a lot about pregnancy with my boys and since they are all old enough to understand, it has been an unexpected joy, especially with my 7 year old who comes out with the cutest questions and statements. I have been focusing on picking a name and plan to buy all new fun baby gadgets (that I am sure I won't need but are fun to have). ilm4s- this little one may just be your pink bundle yet. I have seen so much pink on the boards lately. I know it is instinct to try and keep from being disappointed and sad, but hope is still there.

[Falling2Grace]

^you are so right <3 this is a terrific group of ladies and im very glad to have this type of support. No in IRL really gets it besides DH, so im glad to have this.

So far i am trying to come up with a name to be excited about. Im struggling, but i am trying. I think i might try to get excited about boy items that are more for fun and try not to think about the fact that we have so much baby boy stuff already (my youngest son turns 1 in two days and i have a two year old boy so really we have everything we need for a baby boy) but im hoping to find some fun items as opposed to useful, just to have something to look forward to. Im keeping everything crossed that my sway (and all you ladies sways!) worked....april 2nd cant come soon enough!

[Falling2Grace]

^you are so right <3 this is a terrific group of ladies and im very glad to have this type of support. No in IRL really gets it besides DH, so im glad to have this.

So far i am trying to come up with a name to be excited about. Im struggling, but i am trying. I think i might try to get excited about boy items that are more for fun and try not to think about the fact that we have so much baby boy stuff already (my youngest son turns 1 in two days and i have a two year old boy so really we have everything we need for a baby boy) but im hoping to find some fun items as opposed to useful, just to have something to look forward to. Im keeping everything crossed that my sway (and all you ladies sways!) worked....april 2nd cant come soon enough!