Need some advice/opinions about plan b? In a dilemma.....

[ivy1106]

Hi Ladies,
I tried to sway for a girl in "12" and had a boy. I followed the guidelines as far as diet etc. I know there where many swaying factors and I for the most part did them all and my husband did some. I did not know about this site until I was well into my swaying and was following the guidelines from ingender which I know differ from here. I still got a boy. I have to say though he is the greatest thing! Thank god for him I wouldn't go back and trade him for anything. And I know I would love another boy just as much as my crazy pair! I just desperately want a girl!!
On to my issue. When we found out the 2nd was a boy I was very upset but learned to accept it and fell in love with him the moment I held him. But I knew that there was a good chance I would have a 3rd and my husband agreed to go for a consultation to pick the gender and have a girl. Greyson is 15 months and we have a lot going on in our lives with two kids and transition in my husbands’career. SO another child wasn't on the horizon at all. Anyway for the past several months things between my husband and I have been very very very bad. Fighting, not sleeping in the same room no sex-Just brutal hostility--Marriage consuling which we are still doing and not going that great ...Me threatening to leave.....But through all of this still holding out hope that we can make it through this we have two awesome boys and I would hate to put them through a divorce BUT would also hate to put them through seeing a bad marriage and then that starting another cycle with their future relationships....OK so A lot going on..
Yesterday my husband and I each took a child to our own mothers’ house so we were apart all day. This is how weekends are usually go due to the fact that his father is very ill him and the older one go to MILs for dinner. They live an hour away so I don't go every time and especially few and far between since my husband and I are at such odds and the car ride was extremely unbearable and tension filled and not fun for everyone in the car. So I got home and put the 15 month old to bed and then something very unexpected happened my husband basically took me and grabbed me and kissed me and one thing led to another and I told him we should get something or that he should pull out and my period just ended a couple of days ago. I was just trying to do some calculating time in my head of when I would be ovulating. By the time I realized no prob not a good idea and went to tell him to pull out it was too late. Plus I was VERY taken aback he has not touched me or shown interest in me physically in months!!! Idunno I wasn't thinking clearly. So I have an app on my phone and this was def. a fertile day since I will be ovulating on 7/2. The thing is that I recently weaned my baby from breastfeeding so my cycle ranges from about 25-31 days mostly going back to 25-27 days recently. Now I don’t know what to do. I know the chances are low (or are they) but that it is still a possibility. The question is do I take plan b? I can't stop the "what-ifs" ---What if I am and this is the girl? What if I am and it is another boy? This is not a good time in our marriage for another baby. I don't want to be selfish no matter what I choose to do. What do I do? When I was in line buying it there was a little baby girl in a stroller right in front of me STARING at me! And then I am thinking...Oh god is this a sign?....Then I go run another errand and there is a pregnant woman in a pink shirt and my silly mind is saying "Are these signs?"
I have been so stressed out that I haven't even been eating much when I do it’s not good def. not "girl friendly" per say if I still put any stock in that. I haven't been taking many vitamins except pre-natels. I drink a lot of Ice Coffee, diet coke, diet ice tea. But because I have been so stressed out I haven't been eating or drinking much.
I know that this is a lot of info so thanks if you are still with me but I know from being on this forum so much while ttc my 2nd in the hopes it was a girl that you are all very supportive and can see where I am coming from.
Do take plan b? Do I wait the potential 16 days of my next expected period? What if I am pregnant and this is my girl? ALSO why did my husband do this? It was so out of nowhere so there was no orgasm (Sorry if tmi) on my end which I know is possibly a factor in all of this and the myths. See? my mind is going everywhere and you ladies are the only ones that get it. I got pregnant on with my 1st the first month on or near the Ovulation Date....With my 2nd it took 2 months and I tried to do before O date. What do I do? What would you do? Any and all feedback but respectfully if you please.
Thank you,
Bonnie

[ivy1106]

BTW Reading this back I realize how crazy I sound....This is just a really hard time in my life,,,,and this was a major curveball....

[Red]

Have you thought about setting some time aside with your husband and talk to him about the possibility? It may help you with how your feeling right now,and you can get his feedback on the situation.

[angielorna]

It sounds like a very stressful time for you and your DH. I think it would be a good to have a discussion with him before deciding to do anything. My thought is IF you were to get pregnant, the child would be both of yours and getting his thoughts on the situation would be important. In my brutally honest opinion, if I were in your position, I would take a wait and see approach. But that's because in my situation, I would be okay with a third child even if I left (or he left) the marriage. I know not every situation is like my own....

I wish you luck in your decision.

Angie

[ivy1106]

Thanks everyone. I just want a girl so badly and what if I am and this is the girl??!! If its another boy I will love him but really mentally it will be really hard even though I know that when I see him it will be fine but I will want to try for a girl and I know my husband was unsure about even having a 3rd. I tried so hard to sway with the last one and it didn't work. His opinion is to do what ever I want to do. He knows how much I want a girl and so he is kind of leaving it all on my lap....Like I said things are really stressful with us right now and talking about anything is a challenge. A part if me thinks maybe he knows if I am it will make it harder to leave? The trust is not there right now between us for a few reasons. I don't know what to do not even my gut is telling me much of anything.....I will try to talk to him tonight again. I know one myth I have heard is stress is a boy factor if thats the case then this is a boy Well I have more time but the less effective the longer I wait so....Should I call a physic hotline? LOL

[Abifasc]

First, I'm so sorry about you and your husband. Secondly, I strongly believe that using plan b would cause more harm than good. One, you don't even know if you're pregnant, and secondly, I believe a marriage can always be healed and restored and an abortion allows for a lot of hurt, resentment, and the "what if" questions that you're already asking. Besides, maybe this surprise baby will be the kick start you both need to heal your relationship!

[atomic sagebrush]

do not take Plan B. For all you know, you could be losing a baby of your desired gender. you can analyze things till the cows come home but "perfect" sways yield opposites all the time and oopsies a desired gender. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ve-me-out.html

[atomic sagebrush]

stress does not sway blue. it's been shown very clearly in studies to sway pink.

[blueeyedguys]

If it were me, I would take it. Unless you're ok with the possibility of being a single mom of 3 boys (or 2 boys & 1 girl if you're lucky). It sounds like the situation with your husband is very unstable and you still don't have a clue if you're going to stay married or not. Having another baby rarely holds a marriage in trouble together & frequently causes things to fall apart even more spectacularly.

You're the only one who knows what situation your ok with. You don't have a lot of time, but take a bit & really think through what you're ok with so you can make the best decision for you & your family.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[ivy1106]

I hear you I would never just take plan b because I thought my sway wouldn't work. My husband and I haven't touched each other in months this was just such a left field thing and had no idea what to think/do. I still don't. I haven't taken it and won't. Whatever happens happens is such a great attitude to have its just so hard to push your hopes, and dreams and expectations down and have that statement ring loud enough in your head. I guess we will see thanks for the reply.