Greetings! TTC and mini-swaying

[Jelliebellie83]

Hello everyone,

I've recently joined and after a few days of lurking, figured I'd best introduce myself! The hubs and I are starting our TTC journey. I am 32 as of May and he will be 32 in Oct. First time TTC for both.

I'm a bit nervous about it all - I have a number of friends and relatives who have had trouble TTC and have m/c. I am not expecting that my situation will be any different (don't know why I think that - it's the pessimist in me!) so I don't want to get too excited. I would be blessed if I could have 1 or 2 babies, and know time isn't really on my side for that plan, so best get to it!

Here's the thing: I'm a bit concerned bc I would love love LOVE to have a girl. I've always thought that and in my mind, if I were to have all girls I would be okay, but if I had all boys I would keep trying for that girl. I don't mean to imply boys aren't wonderful and I am sure that if I had a boy I'd be thrilled, but I think that bc of my very close relationship with my mom and the fact that I'm a girly-girl, I feel like being a mama to girls is what I'd be best at. Does that make sense at all? My mom had me at 31 with one ovary and one tube after a long bout with endo - she prayed every night for a girl though she waited for the surprise and was ecstatic when she found out.

Anyway, this desire for pink might be forever bc my husband's paternal grandpa had 2 boys, his dad has 2 boys, and his brother just had a boy. There are no girls! His mom is dying for a granddaughter and confided in me that she wanted to try for #3 to see if it was a DD, but father in law said nope. We did find out however that paternal grandpa did have a sister, so maybe it skips generations and it's our turn lol? No pressure!

Anyway, I've been doing a very lite pink sway and did the e4d method this past cycle - currently in the 2ww. Not holding my breath since this is our first try and think if nothing comes out of this cycle, it gives me more time to work on that sway [emoji16]


Cheers!




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[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome!

It is absolutely normal before you have that first to have concerns about your fertility especially when you know others who do. Most people have no trouble though and I hope that is your experience too.

Many of us totally understand about gender desire and have had it with our very first child. It's ok, no one judges anyone for that around here! I actually had gender desire for a boy with my first and was just lucky enough to get him. It doesn't mean we wouldn't love an opposite, just that we have something pushing us that direction. Of course, I was greedy and wanted a girl too but I do understand you can have a desire right from your very first. It's good news for you because you can't lose - either you do get a girl and that's great, but you could end up with a boy and have a voyage of discovery about how great they are.

Gender doesn't run in the family at least not in the way you're thinking of it. If gender were genetic, those genes would be at a huge disadvantage, especially "boymaking" genes because historically, only 40% of all males have survived to pass down genes, while 80% of all women born have surviving offspring. Anyone who "only made boys" would be at a huge genetic disadvantage and would have been weeded from the gene pool a long time ago. Science indicates that it's most likely that your body detects cues from the environment, your diet, etc and ups the chances that you'll conceive a child of a gender with the best chances of surviving to adulthood to pass down those genes - boys in times of plenty, girls when your body thinks food is a little scarcer.

[Jelliebellie83]

Thanks so much, Atomic! [emoji4]

Your words are reassuring and I do feel better knowing that gender doesn't run in my hubby's family the way I was thinking. Good to know we still have good odds of getting a pink bundle! And you are 100% right - I would luck out big time getting a little girl and would pee my pants with joy if it happened but I also think having a boy would be such an adventure (and would allow me to experience the mother-son bond, which I've only witnessed in other families)! I'm sure we would spoil any child rotten with tons of love and we are super excited. Of course this now means I'm about to get greedy and want at least one boy and one girl so I don't miss out on all the fun, lol. I know a couple friends who've had a boy and a girl and BAM they're done. In Spanish we have a saying that's like "jealousy of the good kind" meaning you are happy for them but also a bit jealous. I'm not in any baby boat at the moment, but I do appreciate that sentiment - how utterly freakin' lucky of them!

I'm currently in the 2ww over here, calculating that I'm probably 8dpo-ish. Have been having some stretching feelings and slight pulls/cramps that I hadn't noticed before but I think it's me being all hypersensitive and trying to look for symptoms.

I'm a bit concerned about my slight pink sway -- so, my diet has pretty much been in the 1500-1800 cals/day category, usually stick to 2 big meals a day, and skip breakfast (usually only have coffee and that suppresses my appetite). I'm 5'7 with medium build, and my lowest weight ever was 132 about a year ago for my wedding (I was on Ocella which acted as a diuretic for me, plus I was doing cleanses and limiting my caloric intake). When I dropped the BC pill, I got to about 135-137 and stayed there until May of this year. I still fit the same size, so assumed it was water weight. I started doing cardio about 4-5 days a week (spinning) starting in late June. I stopped weighing myself so frequently around that time but since it was summer and bathing suit season and things didn't jiggle too much (lol) I thought I was fine.

WELL, lo and behold I weighed myself this morning and IT SAYS 147!!!! I almost cried. I've noticed that my clothes still fit, but my pants are a bit tighter in the legs and butt and yesterday at work I wore a skirt and caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and I noticed just how defined my legs are. So I apparently have good muscle tone, a new discovery since before spinning I never engaged in any exercise aside from ballet and yoga. With spinning I've been very careful to keep it cardio and not do heavy resistance, but my legs have obviously developed muscle. I can feel it in my core, too.

In any other situation is be thrilled at getting jiggly bits toned, but have I just swayed over (pun intended) to blue territory?! Muscle and a 10lb gain??! [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33]What can I do now, aside from
dropping spinning and never eating again lol?

Ps - I've read that being in good shape is good for labor, etc. Would I just try to get in shape once I'm pregnant but not before?

Sorry for the long post!


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[atomic sagebrush]

At your height, 147 is not that much and I wouldn't stress about it.

I can't tell you if you're swaying pink or blue, my crystal ball is in the shop, unfortunately. What I do know is that 1500-1800 cals is not a lot of cals and we've had good luck even with 5 days of exercise so what I'd do is do what you're doing but try to increase the cardio to 6-7 days a week if possible. Don't worry about the muscle, when fat goes away muscle becomes more visible. Do not drop the spinning.

Re being in good shape and labor - while that's one of those things that sounds good on paper, the reality of the sitch is that being preggo can be tough and you may not feel like doing gobs of exercise or anything like that. EVen in early pregnancy you will be extremely tired and may feel quite nauseous. All you have to do is your BEST, do some walking and so on. Labor is called labor for a reason, even the easy ones are hard. I've had 5, some were easier and some were harder and I really didn't see any correlation between my level of fitness and their level of difficulty. I would not worry about that for now and focus on what you can do for a sway.

[Jelliebellie83]

Ok, many thanks!!! I was wondering if developing that muscle mass would be more likely to result in more testosterone or something. I'll add an extra day or two and keep up the spinning while I can! [emoji4]


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[atomic sagebrush]

Technically, I don't have people delibertely set out to do that because that is the concern, but it's already done now and no changing it. People can and do get girls with all sorts of exercise regimins, my advice is just what I think will work best for most of the people most of the time but that doesn't mean that someone who hasn't done that, has no chance of a successful sway because you do. All we can do from here on is regroup and move on!