A question for girl moms

[Indira]

I´m very interested in Atomic´s ´law´of testosterone supply and demand because it totally applies to me, I´ve come to the conclusion that ALL my hobbies are detail-, goal orientated and competitive.
I sew very cute shirts for my sons, often make gifts by hand, do crochet and a little gardening. I also love to project interior changes in our home and try new recepies. This all has a competitive element in it because there is some hidden showing off in it, I like other people telling me what lovely things I make. I know this sounds like I´m not a nice person but I´m not that bad really .
so, I think this is an area that I can improve to lower my testosteron demand, so I´m trying to change my free time activities, but I get so BORED!
First thing that comes up to me to do that´s not goal orientated is snacking, but I can´t do that either on the girl diet, lol!
The only things I´ve come up with so far is watching tv and hang out at the mall for a drink and do some shopping.

So I would love to know: what do you do when you´re not working or playing with your kids?

[purplepoet20]

I am not a girl mom but... I also sew, cook, currently remodeling, and many other things. I do not consider myself competitive with my hobbies or interest.

I grew up in a family where... oatmeal was breakfast, ramon was lunch, and beans and water was dinner. A few times a year we got Ham, jarred pasta sauce, or something extra special. I learned a few things from my grandma and from my dad's many girlfriends. I cook and try new things to please my family. If they don't like it I never make it again. When my boys ask for seconds I know I did a good job on the meal. I force myself not to get over worked if someone (other then my kids, hubby, or IL's) likes my food. My only goal with cooking is learning how to cook, showing my kids the different types of foods, teaching my family the eat healthy, and one day giving my kids the recipes and teaching them to cook.

With my other hobbies... sewing, writing stories and poems, reading, biking, archaeology, singing, and musical instruments... I do it for myself and my boys. My parents or family has never commented or said anything nice to me. If anything I was told to give up my dreams of teaching at a university and writing. It is very hard for me to except compliments on a dress I sewed for my neice. I rarely share my poems and stories because one poem made my dad cry and he said he never wanted to read another one. Getting ready to take up biking again soon after I build a new bike trailer that can hold more then 2 kids, my winter project.

My current world is helping my little men with their interest... Playing in the mud, digging with the shovels, climbing the trees, dancing in the puddles, going to air shows, spending a day at the zoo, or taking my expensive instruments and pretending to play music. I read a lot of books during the day to them, the kind from when I was a kid and never heard/read before.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Try to feel overwhelmed lol! I was constantly feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I'm also pretty much consumed by day-to-day activities so I don't get much free time.

If this happens (free time, mostly in the evening) I like to read or if the weather is nice I take my girls out for long walks.

[begonia]

Well I probably can't help because when it comes to this I am definitely an opposite. In my free time I trained for races, and I was super competitive about it, always placing in the top 3 in my age group and ALWAYS looking to best my previous times. I also volunteer a fair bit and always in a leadership role. For my boy sway I dropped running and did weights, but that got to be a very competitive thing for me too. I've just always been very, very focused on ... well, winning ... LOL. DH and I playing a game of scrabble can be a total nightmare! Oh and one time we tried to run a race together ... that was hilarious.

I'll be curious to read other replies. I think this is one area where I don't fit the mold of the stereotypical girl mom for sure. What's funny though is my DD1 is also definitely NOT a gender stereotype of a girl ... she has never shown an interest in dolls, princesses, dress-up, etc ... the child hasn't worn a skirt/dress since she could dress herself at 2. So I find this stuff pretty interesting b/c while I think there is truth to it (esp with the little girls, overwhelmingly my friends with girls are into the whole princess thing) I do not see it in myself or my family.

[Zivic-Bubac]

With my other hobbies... sewing, writing stories and poems, reading, biking, archaeology, singing, and musical instruments... I do it for myself and my boys. My parents or family has never commented or said anything nice to me. If anything I was told to give up my dreams of teaching at a university and writing. It is very hard for me to except compliments on a dress I sewed for my neice. I rarely share my poems and stories because one poem made my dad cry and he said he never wanted to read another one. Getting ready to take up biking again soon after I build a new bike trailer that can hold more then 2 kids, my winter project.

Purple - you are one amazing women and mom. You obviously are full of (positive) energy, no wonder you have boys
What I find really amazing is that you didn't let your childhood influence the way you treat you children Excellent job and I hope you'll get your just try not to be so active for pit sake LOL!

P.S. I like your siggy : I would take Me too! LOL!

[LolaInLove]

Interesting question....when I had my girls, I was with my ex-dh, and he was very oppressive to me, so I know that I had low T from the way I was treated and had to go about living my life, which was very controlled, I had no voice or opinion, and was forced to pretty much be a stay home mom. I cleaned, cooked, went to the gym (so I wasn't fat as I would get yelled at for "not taking care of myself")....you all know what I am talking about here. I think all of this had a huge influence on my having girls.

All of that being said and very depressing, I did leave him about 5 years ago and have now been married to a super awesome guy for 1.5 years who is a better father to my girls than their real dad. So, happy ending.

But back to your question, I was very overwhelmed like Zivic said, and to be honest, if I wasn't cleaning or cooking or at the gym or taking care of and playing with the kids, I would be on the patio with a beer and a good book. But, although I had "goal-oriented" days, where I needed to have the house spotless and gourmet meals ready for him at a certain hour, I did not have compete and win goals, the kind that I think raise T levels. And I had ZERO sex drive back then, probably a mixture of no T and also hating him. LOL

[purplepoet20]

Purple - you are one amazing women and mom. You obviously are full of (positive) energy, no wonder you have boys
What I find really amazing is that you didn't let your childhood influence the way you treat you children Excellent job and I hope you'll get your just try not to be so active for pit sake LOL!

P.S. I like your siggy : I would take Me too! LOL!

Thank you ZB...I am trying no to be active but we are trying to finish our backyard and it is so close... if only the rain would give us a break.

[zanacal]

I'm a boy mum and not a girl mum too. I'm very determined at work and a complete perfectionist and I'm an accountant so I think very methodically but at home I'm the complete opposite - I'm rubbish at keeping up with the housework (I currently have dishes which need washing, an overflowing laundry basket (or two!) and a living room strewn with toys and in desperate need of a hoover!). Our extension was finished in December and then it was down to me to decorate and it's still waiting. In the evenings when I could be catching up after the kids are in bed I sit on my arse in front of the telly with my laptop on and then I go to bed with a good book! On the other hand, I'm quite uptight about how we should bring up the children and in teaching them by example (in the way we act - obviously not in being good housewives/husbands!). Perhaps I should be trying to keep up with the housework and letting it overwhelm me instead of being chilled out about it

[purplepoet20]

I'm a boy mum and not a girl mum too. I'm very determined at work and a complete perfectionist and I'm an accountant so I think very methodically but at home I'm the complete opposite - I'm rubbish at keeping up with the housework (I currently have dishes which need washing, an overflowing laundry basket (or two!) and a living room strewn with toys and in desperate need of a hoover!). Our extension was finished in December and then it was down to me to decorate and it's still waiting. In the evenings when I could be catching up after the kids are in bed I sit on my arse in front of the telly with my laptop on and then I go to bed with a good book! On the other hand, I'm quite uptight about how we should bring up the children and in teaching them by example (in the way we act - obviously not in being good housewives/husbands!). Perhaps I should be trying to keep up with the housework and letting it overwhelm me instead of being chilled out about it

I have dishes and clothing that need cleaning and a few basket with clean clothing that have been sitting around for a week... I also believe it is more important to teach my kids other things then gender roles. Last night we decided to pretend to be animals then to do dishes so much fun!

[Flava]

Ok just chill out
What I like to do (4 girls here lol) I like to read books . A LOT.
Also watch TV and hang on my laptop read things. Call some1 on the phone works too. or take a nap.Just doing this can take up all your free time
Love to do cross stitching too but take a long time only did 1 small pic yet.
I have little free time I hate mess so I have to clean a lot , cook , kids ect.
Anyway now that I ttc blue i do different things.HTH