Please Delete

[Complex Emotions]

Sorry to do this, but I've decided I need to delete the information I'd shared here. My apologies, I know many of you shared insightful comments and I'm sorry that they won't make much sense now.

[sweetdream]

If it is a second boy you WILL fall in love as soon as you see him.
But the longing will still be there. It will be less in time but i doubt it will go away. I believe it can though. But it will need Some work.
But i think to let lose a bit will only help Your Sway. You sound very controling.
Whats done is done. And three day cut off is not that bad.'
I hope you can relax a bit.

[bigbump]

It was my story about the woman's husband who said it was 'her life's greatest sadness ' I'm really sorry that it upset you so much. It stuck with me too, I need to learn to button it sometimes.

I have that 2nd son and I promise you you would love a second son. However you might still long for a daughter as I do. But you really can't control it 100% and you do still have the possibility of a daughter. I wish I didn't care either, but we do, so we just get on with our lives and loving our children and families and try not to let it take over. You never know, you might have just made a pink bundle.


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[Girlieplease]

Be gentle on yourself, you still have a 49% chance of a girl by doing nothing and have done lots of stuff to sway so there is still a chance of pink. I have similar feelings to you but I have a DD already but I would love her to have a sister, she really wants one as well and asks pretty often, which breaks my heart. I just dont know how to give it up? I so wish I did not feel like this. I find myself hoping that people I know in RL dont have girls and get disappointed when they do, it is horrible and I hate feeling this way. A man in work has a girl and boy and his wife was pregnant with a 3rd, he said he did not care what it was as he has one of each and I believe him, of course his wife had a second girl! The only way I think I let go of it is to try my hardest to sway for a girl and if it does not work out and I get another lovely boy that I can be at peace that I did all I could. I think it would be easier psychologically to say I tried everything and it was not meant to be than to say I did not try and I could have got an second DD. I hope if you are pregnant you hear pink. But I think if your not and you attempt again I think you need to find some way of reducing the stress as (i could be wrong) it sways blue! good luck and if you are pregnant I wish you a healthy pregnancy, keep us posted!

[Mulberry Smurf]

What big bump said is true for me too. I have that second son and honestly the relief I felt when I saw him and instantly fell in love with him was very freeing. But I do still long for a baby girl, hopefully you have a little girl on board but if you do have another boy he will add s lot to your life I promise you xx

[Babygirlquest]

I think you need to ease off with your sway as it sounds like it's becoming all consuming and a negative thing in your life. Not only does that not help with your mindset but this obsessive streak actually sways blue, so it's beneficial to let it go a bit. You only have one boy so it's not like you had had 5 or 6 in a row. Women get pigeon pairs (one of each) all the time with no effort whatsoever. Timing really doesn't sway and o+12 is considered a bit of a myth. There is no point in even worrying about that because timing has been debunked.

It sounds like you have done good things to sway girl so if you are pregnant, and you don't know that you are, there is a good chance it's a girl. Would you go high tech? I ask because your feelings for a girl sound extremely strong and in your situation I would not be comfortable swaying. I have two 'failed sways' so while many sways are successful, it's not in any way a guarantee and you should be very realistic that any attempt could also lead to a boy. I went high tech for this (my last) because I wasn't willing to risk a sway given the strength of my feelings.

Of course if you have a second boy you will adore him. The desire for a girl does not diminish our love for our boys. I have four boys and while I still long for a girl I do not in any way love my boys anything less than with all my being.

[maidentomother]

Timing is total crap so I'm thrilled you accidentally got in a well timed attempt, from the sounds of it. Your prior attempt was 4 days before so quite pink friendly. If you are pregnant, I think you have a great shot at a girl.

I do think you would benefit from meds for anxiety and depression. An SSRI could work wonders. I strongly encourage you to look into meds.

[Erin514]

My DS2 was a failed sway. I love him to bits, he is just the sweetest baby and never complains. I feel like he was just what I needed in my life after DS1, who is a very active, high-needs child. They balance each other out and DS2 just "fits" so well in our family. That doesn't change my longing for a daughter, though. I wouldn't dream of trading my sons but I still hope it will happen for me with a third baby.

I'm sure that you would love another son if that's what life gives you, but that doesn't make your desire for a girl disappear. If you feel like two children is the absolute limit for you and you are dreading the thought of getting pregnant, maybe swaying isn't the right choice for you right now. Why not take a break from ttc to get a better handle on your feelings and look into going high-tech to make sure you get your desired gender? It's more important to be in a healthy b place than to rush to get pregnant before 35.

[maidentomother]

Oh hun, big hugs. I am so sorry you are struggling with all this. What SSRIs hsve you tried? I've tried most of them and several similar meds, for depression and OCD, and I responded HORRIBLY to one SSRI, Zoloft, not at all to a few others, and wonderfully to Prozac. So it can be very hit or miss. Also, many drs prescribe the same drug to nearly every patient, without even attempting to match them to the best potential med based on individual, specific symptoms.

[maidentomother]

Yep, you can get EPS from SSRIs, including twitches and what I got (after several years on high dose Prozac), tremors. The good news is that those symptoms stop when you come off the meds, and just bc you get EPS from one SSRI, doesn't mean you will on another. I think you might do well on low dose Paxil. You might also consider Remeron, which is not an SSRI and doesn't cause EPS or have sexual side effects. The biggest potential issues with these 2 meds are sedation and weight gain, but it seems to me you'd do better on a more sedating vs stimulating med, correct me if I'm wrong?

Maybe do some research on your own and see if you want to ask your dr about them. You could benefit from therapy too, particularly while medicated (if you didn't find therapy helpful off meds).