Debating on when to try for our 2nd baby

[smllibra]

So, I have a son who is about to turn 2 in July. But I'm kind of debating on when to try for our 2nd. We thought about trying in September. So that would mean my son would turn 3 the month after having the baby. Or should we just wait to try, say several months or so later? We more than likely only want two. But I would just like to know, Based on your experience, what would you suggest? Thanks ladies!

[Erin514]

It totally depends on what would work best for your family, there are pros and cons to any age gap. Closer together = can play together, go through similar life stages and activities, might be important to you if your clock is ticking. Further apart = don't have two in diapers at once, you get to focus more on each baby, the older one is more able to do stuff without help.

Our oldest turned 3 when our second turned 3 months. I wouldn't have wanted them any closer because out first was very high needs and we needed him to get to a more manageable age. At 3 he was old enough to understand that he needed to be gentle with the baby, that babies can't do the same things he can, and that his role as a big brother was to help us take care of the baby and teach the baby. If he was younger I think it would've been harder for him to understand. If he were too much older we worried they wouldn't have been able to play together but that's not the end of the world either.

[atomic sagebrush]

There are advantages and disadvantages to every way of doing it. I have a nearly 4 year age gap and while it was a bit easier right around the time of the birth (although not that much as my older son was definitely the prince of the castle) they could never play together and they were always just in really different stages of life. Then my younger three are 21 months apart for the boys and my daughter is 2 1/2 years younger than my youngest boy, and while that was very hard for a few years there, it's exponentially easier now because they play really well together. My first two boys are both kind of loners and I wonder if it's because of that age gap.

What I would mention is that you can't necessarily assume, with swaying, that you'll get preggo right off the bat so you may want to take it into consideration.

I don't think the birthday issue is a big deal though (unless financially hard) a month is an eternity to a child and I don't think they feel deprived having a birthday that close to a sibling.