Swaying after molar pregnancy - advice needed

[bugandbee]

Currently, I am pregnant with a healthy baby boy, #4. Previous to this little guy, I had a partial molar pregnancy.

I did not sway this pregnancy besides praying the desire of my heart and being a vegetarian - sometimes vegan.With my partial molar, I swayed with a personalized plan to include the LE diet, exercise, whatever supplements were suggested and was a vegetarian.

I don't attribute my molar to swaying and realize it's a fluke - although I'm slightly more likely to have another.

Despite being happy I am having a healthy pregnancy after a partial molar experience (seriously, that was awful and cruel), I am experiencing gender disappointment.

I have one girl that I am eternally grateful for! (I have a DS 7, DD 5, DS 2, PMP, and this DS in utero). I grew up with only a brothers, boy cousins, no aunts, my husband has only a brother etc. I would give my arm to give my daughter a sister and I've attempted 3 times!

So, my question is: do I just accept my God-given blessings and enjoy being the only female in her life besides a Grandmother? I swore I was done with this pregnancy as 4 is our limit, but we also said that after having my 3rd. Gender disappointment is rocking my world when logically, I should be ecstatic for all that I have. Do we roll the dice and attempt a 5th baby and hope GD doesn't strike again when it's likely to be another boy? With the previous molar component, the thought of HT crossed my mind but there are several factors against it for us.

My DD desperately wishes for a baby sister and we haven't told the children the sex of the baby yet.

Since I'm already a vegetarian, and have more boys than girls - 3 to 1 so far although I consider the PMP male due to symptoms being the same as all of my boy pregnancies but we opted to not find out which tripoldy it was - does this mean that I'm less likely to successfully sway? I know you can't look into a crystal ball for me but any input would be great. Obviously, we aren't making any rash decisions as this one is still happily cooking away. I'll be 34 when this baby is born so if we were to be blessed in a position for a 5th , I'd officially be in the advanced maternal age bracket.

Thanks for reading and indulging me!

[atomic sagebrush]

Symptoms don't predict gender. i'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm in somewhat a similar situation where I have 4 sons and then my one daughter. I would have loved for her to have a sister but practically speaking, it would have been really more than I could handle. I chose to make an active decision to focus on the benefits of that instead of the bad things. She and I have more time together, we're "the girls", she never has to worry about competing with another female in the family. I am pretty ok with just one girl. I never thought I would be, but I am.

Most kids don't get 1/1millionth of what they want in childhood. I remember wanting a pool in my house as a child. More seriously, I didn't want my parents to move (very, very desperately) but they did. I know she wants a sister, I am not trying to diminish her feelings but the thing is, you can have 3 more boys too, you know?? And all it does (even if you did have another girl) is take that much more time away with the time you have with her.

Everyone has a chance of a boy or a girl with every pregnancy. You already have a girl! You can make girls. But the thing is that just for ME, when I think about being spread even thinner and having less time with my girl than I already do, I'm very thankful that I did not try for a sister for her.

Oh and at 34 you're still very young. So many of us freak about the AMA thing but it's really very arbitrary. I had 3 of my 5 kids after that point!
No matter what you decide, I'm here to help!

[Girlieplease]

Your post resonated with me, whereas I have no crystal ball I thought it might be useful to hear from someone in your position but how has decided not to try for a 5 th in hope of providing dd with a sister. I had my dd first and then tried three times to give her a sister and am currently 26 weeks pregnant with ds 3 after a strong sway.

I have decided not to try again for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would never talk my dh into it. He had to be persuaded to try for number 3 and massively persuaded to try for number 4. I had extreme gd when I found out this was a boy. I should add that I only discovered swaying Dec 2015 so I did not attempt it for my first three. Seeing how distressed I was at having another boy my dh would never agree to be in the position of having another boy. He feels responsible and thinks he should have been more firm in saying no to a fourth as he was sure I would not cope with hearing boy.

For my part I just cannot risk it been another boy, my gd was so extreme and in reality I wish I had counted my blessings before this pregnancy and accepted how lucky I was to have a dd and 2 ds and not even tried. I just think life is going to be harder, we are in the process of moving to a larger house so massive mortgage, we have to change our car and as I work part time child care is going to be a pain. All this additional stress and reality my current youngest is out of nappies, stopped breast feeding and sleeps through the night and now we are going back to all

[Girlieplease]

Sorry phone posted too soon!

Back to all of the above, it also means I have less time for my other three children. I held of telling my dd about the pregnancy as I wanted to be absolutely sure it was a boy and to give myself a chance to be in a better place with the news when I told her. We told her 2 weeks ago and it was awful, she really took the news pretty badly. She is much better about it now but talks about the baby as opposed to a brother and refused to tell her best friends mum that it was a boy. So that is another big reason against trying again, I could not have her cope with another brother. She actually said, I don't want a sister anymore, I just cannot cope with another brother! I just don't think it would be fair on her. My dd is 6 so a year older than your dd but another reason that puts me off is that when the baby I am pregnant with is one and I would realistically be thinking about trying again dd will be nearly 8 years old. It took me a while to conceive this one at 36 so maybe at 38 it would take longer, so by the time baby five would be born, even if it was a girl dd would be nearly 10 years old. I just feel the age gap is too much. My dd wioukd be 18 when baby five would be 8 ish and I just think they will be at different stages. My whole fantasy about having a sister for dd was that she would have someone close in age, going through the same stuff at the same time. Another factor is am older and run the risk of having a child with something wrong with it.

So what I plan to do is instead of striving to give my dd something I think she wants and wasting my time and energy pursuing a dream that may never happen. Or give her a sister that she may not get on with. I am going to enjoy every moment of the precious dd I have as I won't have anorher. I am going to try and help her form strong female bonds with others, so her current best friend is a girl in her class who has no sisters either. But also my brother's wife had just had a little girl and am going to try my hardest to foster a strong relationship between them. Given that I have no sisters in am in the hest position to help my dd with that and enjoy the very special relationship we do have and hopefully will continue to have.

Sorry I have no answers and I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do, keep us posted! X