Should we wait?

[Greydore]

So I will probably be getting my IUD removed this Wednesday (October 4). I usually ovulate around the 14-16, so I could get pregnant this next cycle. I'll be honest, I haven't done a good job at the LE diet. I love cereal in the morning and have been eating meat. I got pregnant very quickly with my boys (2 cycles with my first, 1 cycle with my second) so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened quickly again. I'm afraid I haven't done enough 'girl' things for my sway so I'm not sure if we should hold off. But then I think about how atomic says you can't have your DG if you don't get pregnant in the first place. Thoughts?

[Throwaway_panther]

So I will probably be getting my IUD removed this Wednesday (October 4). I usually ovulate around the 14-16, so I could get pregnant this next cycle. I'll be honest, I haven't done a good job at the LE diet. I love cereal in the morning and have been eating meat. I got pregnant very quickly with my boys (2 cycles with my first, 1 cycle with my second) so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened quickly again. I'm afraid I haven't done enough 'girl' things for my sway so I'm not sure if we should hold off. But then I think about how atomic says you can't have your DG if you don't get pregnant in the first place. Thoughts?

You can always get a girl -- that's the first thing. I ate meat before DD, just not a ton and never red meat. And there's plenty of blue opposites on here despite cereal (and my own mom is a lifetime cereal eater who had 3 girls). I think the meat is less important than your total protein and calories, personally.

So I speak from the jaded place of, "You never know what's going to happen." It COULD take you much longer than you thought. You could experience losses. You could have the cycles where you and your partner just don't have time to BD, pushing it out anyway.

I know you've said before you're more OK with an opposite than others on here, too.

My thoughts, then? Why not go for it? If you want to me a bit more rigid, wait a few more months and go harder on the diet. But then the more relaxed girl sways tend to do better, which is what you're arguably doing.

Crystal ball! It's tough!

[Greydore]

You can always get a girl -- that's the first thing. I ate meat before DD, just not a ton and never red meat. And there's plenty of blue opposites on here despite cereal (and my own mom is a lifetime cereal eater who had 3 girls). I think the meat is less important than your total protein and calories, personally.

So I speak from the jaded place of, "You never know what's going to happen." It COULD take you much longer than you thought. You could experience losses. You could have the cycles where you and your partner just don't have time to BD, pushing it out anyway.

I know you've said before you're more OK with an opposite than others on here, too.

My thoughts, then? Why not go for it? If you want to me a bit more rigid, wait a few more months and go harder on the diet. But then the more relaxed girl sways tend to do better, which is what you're arguably doing.

Crystal ball! It's tough!

Thank you! And you're right, I would be okay with having a tribe of boys. My husband and I will be on a kid free vacation while I'm supposed to ovulate, so that will be nice and relaxing for us. I'm also impatient, so when I got the go ahead from DH I wanted to just go for it.

[atomic sagebrush]

This is, of course, one of those things that people need to decide for themselves BUT I will point out that I think sometimes swaying and gender desire can mess with people's heads a bit. I am not sure if it's a defense mechanism exactly or that people don't really believe swaying works or if it's nerves and fertility concerns or that we don't want to be disloyal to our boys, what but I do see with some regularity is people who get in such a hurry to get pregnant (for no real reason) and it's almost like they don't really want to sway. It's as if we think "If we don't try, we can't fail" and so people justify not swaying or swaying halfheartedly or giving up after a few weeks. There are always reasons to justify it - we like boys anyway, we want a sibling for our little one, hubby is ready for baby, we're getting older, etc BUT some of the very same people who do this, then suffer from extreme regret and gender disappointment once they get pregnant with another boy. So just be really, really sure that you truly know what is in your heart and gut and keep in mind that sometimes the way you feel here and now may not be the way you will feel in a month or two or three.

When I say "you can't get your DG if you don't get pregnant" I am NOT saying "so therefore no one should do even the most minimal thing to sway" I am saying that you shouldn't go on an eternity doing every sway tactic that any old wife ever heard in her life but don't extrapolate that to mean "so just do whatevs and TTC right away." 12 weeks on diet will get you best results, one attempt will get best results, exercise will get best results. Ditch the rest, but do try to keep those things if possible.

[Greydore]

This is, of course, one of those things that people need to decide for themselves BUT I will point out that I think sometimes swaying and gender desire can mess with people's heads a bit. I am not sure if it's a defense mechanism exactly or that people don't really believe swaying works or if it's nerves and fertility concerns or that we don't want to be disloyal to our boys, what but I do see with some regularity is people who get in such a hurry to get pregnant (for no real reason) and it's almost like they don't really want to sway. It's as if we think "If we don't try, we can't fail" and so people justify not swaying or swaying halfheartedly or giving up after a few weeks. There are always reasons to justify it - we like boys anyway, we want a sibling for our little one, hubby is ready for baby, we're getting older, etc BUT some of the very same people who do this, then suffer from extreme regret and gender disappointment once they get pregnant with another boy. So just be really, really sure that you truly know what is in your heart and gut and keep in mind that sometimes the way you feel here and now may not be the way you will feel in a month or two or three.

When I say "you can't get your DG if you don't get pregnant" I am NOT saying "so therefore no one should do even the most minimal thing to sway" I am saying that you shouldn't go on an eternity doing every sway tactic that any old wife ever heard in her life but don't extrapolate that to mean "so just do whatevs and TTC right away." 12 weeks on diet will get you best results, one attempt will get best results, exercise will get best results. Ditch the rest, but do try to keep those things if possible.

Thanks for this. I am pretty impatient, and once DH told me he wanted a third I was afraid if we didn't do it right away he would change his mind. I've been wanting this for awhile, so now that we have the green light it's hard to continue to wait. It's silly but I do worry that because I'm 29 it may take longer to get pregnant than at 24 and 26. At this point DH and I would be fine with another boy, but we would have some very disappointed family (sis is currently pregnant with a boy, giving my parents 3 grandsons and no granddaughters).

I also am hesitant on the diet, just because dieting triggers my ED, and nothing is worth relapsing. So I'm trying to figure out how to do an LE diet without falling back into old habits. That's honestly the main reason I go back and forth about whether to give this a real go or not.

One thing I keep forgetting is exercise. It's not triggering for me and if it helps sway it's something I could do.

[frankie2017]

I so understand this impatience ! And also being worried dh will change his mind - so frustrating , but personally I am just going to try the patience route. I would regret it if I didn't give the sway my all for the sake of 'what if's. Last chance for me to try for a girl...


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[frankie2017]

Btw you may not even ovulate straight away - mine took 6 weeks post iud. Maybe start swaying strictly and see what happens


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[Greydore]

Btw you may not even ovulate straight away - mine took 6 weeks post iud. Maybe start swaying strictly and see what happens


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Did you have a Mirena? I have a copper IUD and am able to chart cycles with it, I still ovulate every month so I'm guessing that having it removed won't mess with ovulation. And I admire your patience- it's definitely something I need to work on, for big things like this and in day to day life.

[frankie2017]

Did you have a Mirena? I have a copper IUD and am able to chart cycles with it, I still ovulate every month so I'm guessing that having it removed won't mess with ovulation. And I admire your patience- it's definitely something I need to work on, for big things like this and in day to day life.

Ahh of course, yes I had the mirena.
Oh man I am the worst with patience, this waiting game is consuming me but hopefully it will be worth it.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Ok yes sorry it is just not possible for me to keep everyone's backstories totally straight.

The rules are of course different with ED being involved. If you can't do the diet without triggering those emotions then DON"T. You can still get a girl. Just do what you CAN do and let go of the rest. Exercise and one attempt both get great results. Coming off the Mirena may help as well.

The one thing I really, really do not want you to fall into is the idea of "OMG I'm 29 it will take me forever" because that is just straight up not the case in any way, shape, or form, and while fertility does decline over time, it is a very, very, VERY slow decline and those of us with proven fertility are going to be really basically just as fertile at 29 as at 24. This emotion has ruined more sways (including my own!! both DS 3 and 4 I thought I had to do everyhting under the sun to boost fertility and I was over 10 years older than you and still got pregnant right away) because people assume "I will obvs be much less fertile now than I used to be" and then they end up completely undermining themselves for NO REASON because most of us are still very very fertile. So please don't let that mess with your head. Time is on your side.