Timing question please

[Pinkywish84]

Hi ladies
Was just wondering if someone can help me. I am 10 weeks pregnant and swayed for a girl.
My concern is I did a 2.5 day cut off after a 14 day abstain and then i wanted to up my chances we dtd again after my opk went negative. I kept my ph low through my whole attempt.
Did I ruin my chances of having a girl because there was no point abstaining I guess if I attempted twice.
All my boys were conceived with frequent bd throughout fertile window.
I'm so scared I've ruined my chances.
I also took Clomid and I also took Clomid with my boys.
They say do the opposite of what i did to get my boys.

Thank you xx

[atomic sagebrush]

No one can answer your questions. I'm sorry. You're asking us something we can't help you with.

Your first question is did you have two attempts, and we cannot know that because you can't tell when you ovulate based on when your OPK goes negative.

Your second question is, are you having a girl, and we can't know that because even if you had the most perfectest sway in history you can still get a girl 25-30% of the time.

What I do know is this:

1)Two attempts has been barely worse than one. 65 vs. 66% right now, I believe. So even if you had 2 attempts it was not the end of the world. And it is FOR SURE better than frequent BD thru O which is what got you boys.

2)yes, having a second attempt does kind of undo the benefits of abstain but abstain hasn't even helped anyway so I'd not give that another second of thought

3)Clomid is the best of the best sway tactic there is. EVen if you got boys with it before, it sways pink and is our best sway tactic that there is.

The people who say "do the opposite" are cheating. They don't know the answer to a question and instead of saying "we don't know but here's what we think" they push it back onto you with some BS about "doing the opposite". But doing the opposite ONLY works when the things you are doing the opposite on are actually swaying.

It is ENTIRELY possible to come into swaying let's say 80% set for boys, and then do something (we'll say, chewing bubble gum, just for fun) that sways pink quite a lot, but you end up 60% likely for boys. That is a HUGE pink sway from chewing bubble gum, and it took you from 80% to 60% likely to have a boy, a whopping 20% - but you would have still ended up overall more likely to have a boy. Does this mean you should now do the opposite and stop chewing bubble gum?? OF COURSE NOT because then you would trade in the benefits of the bubble gum and very likely end up even more likely to conceive a boy than you were in the first place!

This can be even worse if the thing you do the opposite on, ends up swaying BLUE! I cannot tell you the number of people who come to me and say "well I got boys using Clomid, or doing one attempt" or whatever and then decide "welp, I better do the opposite, hurr de durr" and drop Clomid and BD thru O!!!! THESE THINGS SWAY BLUE! So then you can potentially end up going from 60% likely to have boys back up to 80% likely to have boys because you did WORSE things for your sway than you did in the first place!!! And then let's say you do both - not chew bubble gum and also drop Clomid and BD through O - this could take an 80% setting for blue up to 85 or 90% (these numbers are hypothetical, just trying to illustrate the point) Doing the opposite doesn't work and it's not a good way to approach a sway.

Ya done good. You had a fine sway and now it's in the hands of Lady Luck or God right now.

[Pinkywish84]

Thank you so much Atomic. It makes so much sense how you explained it.
I wasn't asking you to tell me if I'm having a girl because I know you don't know that, I guess I was just asking for opinions on my chances of getting a girl.
I've been ttc for over a year, and I slowly dropped things from my sway because I got to impatient. Timing was one of them
You've been very helpful. Thank you xx

[atomic sagebrush]

No, I completely understand that, I just get worried because I feel like people read too much into people's opinions of their sways and this quickly turns into false hope (when people say "oh you had a great sway") and then people start to get their hopes up really high or false despair (people saying "I would have done these things differently") which no one ever wants to hear and crushes people and ruins early pregnancy even though they are getting their DG in many cases! And it's even stronger when it comes from me. So I just prefer not to sound off on sways that are done deals because I don't know who is getting their DG and who isn't, if that makes sense.

[Pinkywish84]

I completely understand. When your desperate you look for any hope or signs, even though you know no one can help you. You work so hard and even though you tried your absolute hardest and did the very best you can do, you still have doubts about your sway. And there's always a chance of getting the opposite.
It's out of my hands now. Xx
Thanks again. You've helped alot xx