Chances of conceiving a girl?

[Bexie]

Hi, I'm new to this site, am I ok to post here, or do I have to be a member?

[Bexie]

It seems like my post worked! Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone can help me, I am deeply anxious. I am nearly 39 and DH is 40. We have been ttc for 18 months now, doing 0+12 timing. We have been on LE diet for some time using MFP to track, although I do not find the diet has changed my cycles at all, should it be drying up my ewcm? Last month I had tonnes, so this month, I started taking Saw Palmetto from AF, and it did cut down days of ewcm. I finally agreed to change to a cut off, I was hesitant, because DS2 was meant to be a cut off, I messed up and we DTD on O day, and got another boy.

Anyway, I always seem to O on CD 13 or 14, so I said to DH, if we DTD Saturday (CD11, it should be a 2 or 3 day cut off. I had thought that abstaining the longer the better would be a really good sway tactic, until about 5 minutes ago, when I read it isn't, and can increase defects. So DH had abstained for 16 days, and was all set to go on the Saturday, when to my horror, I found ewcm. My opk had a faint line (I ended up Oing on CD12). I did not know what to do, DH was getting totally fed up with diet, each month getting bfn, he didn't want to keep putting it off, so thinking that the diet and abstaining would up our chances, I agreed to dtd if I did a lime douche and he released only half way in, which we did.

I think we were both expecting another bfn, just because it always was. I got a bfp. I am super anxious now, I really think we've screwed up. I have read that girl bfps are always early and strong, and I didn't get mine until CD12 and even today on CD 15, it is not that strong (although its been getting stronger each day). I should have got AF CD 10 so I'm definitely preg.

I'm really scared, as now I feel like its looking like its a boy, I've messed up my last chance of ever getting a girl, and I was clinging to the fact we had such a great abstain, but now I've read that not only does it sway much, but we've increased our chance of birth defects as well. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm looking for really, just need someone to talk to, as DH is fed up with it all, he didn't really think we could afford another, he was doing it for me, and now I can't stop crying, I just feel like such an idiot.

[Mom25boys]

Hey! Welcome. Slow down. You can have the best sway in the world and end up with an opposite. Unfortunately we can only do our best and still not be promised the gender we wanted. You did your best and now you just wait. Ain't no going back and stress is not good for a pregnancy. Or ever.

No one really knows what sways and doesn't, we just have statistics. But so many things contribute, we can only do our best. You have a 50 % chance of having a son or daughter. You tried to tip the odds in your favor. We can only hope it worked. No one can tell you any of that besides for the blood test or your sonographer. And you have time.

Just hang in there and try to be positive. I hope you get what you wish for, but always safe to expect and prepare for what you didn't. Your dh sways in your favor just because of his age. Lower sperm count from abstain and his age and you still have a great chance. But nothing is certain.

Sticky baby dust

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[Bexie]

Thank you so much Mom25boys! Guess I just feel like the ewcm really sways boy and that's what is upsetting me, as I feel I didn't give it my best shot. If I had dtd with dryer cm and still got a boy, I think I'd be ok with that, iykwim?

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you so much Mom25boys! Guess I just feel like the ewcm really sways boy and that's what is upsetting me, as I feel I didn't give it my best shot. If I had dtd with dryer cm and still got a boy, I think I'd be ok with that, iykwim?

I got my DD even with tons of EWCM. I think I must have super CM even because I've gotten pregnant from prejaculate from a guy with borderline MFI multiple times. And I was fully anorexic when I conceived DD with that CM.

[Bexie]

Thank you so much for your reply Throwaway panther, its great to know that ewcm doesn't just make boys. Oh wow, that's crazy! You really must have super cm! I don't know if there are any stats on ewcm and gender (ok I'm sure there must be), but I have read that ewcm helps advance the boy swimmers, but I guess there are loads of other factors at play, if people can conceive girls with it too. I'm just gutted that I helped advance the boy swimmers!

[Mom25boys]

You need CM. That's how it helps you get pregnant. My friend had 4 girls and no boys. And I can assure you she has loads of ewcm like most people by O. Dont worry. You did great. Nows the waiting game.

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[Lilawt]

Bex please don’t worry!! What’s done is done... baby is already a boy or girl and worrying or crying is not good for the health of both of you.

I actually think your sway sounds really good, even without swaying it’s still possible to have a daughter and you made lots of lifestyle changes so I really wouldn’t beat yourself up. With both my boys I had very dark second lines a whole week before AF was due so it’s certainly not exclusive to girls, that sounds like a total old wives tale.

Like it’s been said, ewcm is actually really important for the survival of both X and Y, drying it all up does not mean Y doesn’t get through, you’re just decreasing your odds of conception as a whole.

If I had pink dust, I’d send a little your way ( only a little , as I need some for myself ). Just try to remain calm, focus on your health. You’re certainly not out yet and I truly hope it’s your daughter in there as GD sucks, I know . Good luck !

Lil


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[Throwaway_panther]

Yeah, echoing the CM thing -- EVERYONE needs CM in order to get pregnant! You're not "helping Y sperm over X" with it -- you have to have ANY sperm to get pregnant with a girl :P

And yeah, my mom is potentially hyperfertile as well, as she was always a "first shot" pregnant woman. She had 3 girls. There are way more factors at play than EWCM when getting boys or girls as I have learned haha. (my mom was a former ballerina, chronic dieter though if that helps pump up the LE lifestyle haha)

[atomic sagebrush]

Of course you can post here! Hi and welcome!

Please don't worry about the risk of birth defects, it's minimal. I just figure since abstain doesn't do anything anyway, why not avoid it totally since the abstain doesn't even work, you know?? Just doesn't make sense to take even the smallest of chances for something that doesn't work.

I can't tell you if your sway will work. What I do know is that at 39 years of age NO ONE should go on 18 plus months not getting pregnant so I would have had you drop a lot of that stuff ages ago anyway. So look at it this way - you got pregnant with a very very strict sway and much stricter than I would have recommended, so there's that.

You cannot tell the gender of your baby from the darkness of a pregnancy test. That's a myth. I have a full explanation of why that is in this thread. https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...cy-test-2.html

We are all here if you want to talk it out!! We've all been there and experienced that moment of horror and shock staring at the BFP thinking about all the things we would have changed about our sways. But you've done what you could do, you had a solid sway, and now you have to put it in the hands of a higher power or luck!