Please help for blue sway[emoji170]

[Missv]

Hi Atomic and hello everyone!

Last month finally we tried for our blue sway.
The week of ovulation we were on holiday by the sea, no stress, plenty of sun (vit. D), lots of good food (especially pasta and fish) and some wine (white).
I religiously continued with breakfast (milk and cereals) and with folic acid and prenatals.
Also lots of walking and lots of swimming.
I started tracking ovulation with clear blue digital (only once in the morning). Negative until CD 13 (directly peak) then negative again. I have a very regular cycle of 27-28 days so (also according to OPK) I should have ovulated on CD13/CD14.
Anyway, we have unprotected sex (always release inside) on CD 6, 8, 11, 13 (OPK's peak), 14, 15 and 17. I was not very happy with the attempts because the OPK resulted peak without high fertility and we couldn't BD on CD12 but seemed like good attempts to me.
In the previous pregnancy I got pregnant on the first try (once on CD 13 and CD 15) after only one month off pill.
I didn't think I was so lucky again (even because almost 3 years have passed since then) but I was hoping for it.
Today, however, AF has arrived as precise as a Swiss watch.
Of course we will try again this month, but do you think there is something I should change? Maybe in terms of number of attempts and timing?
I'm 36, DH 40.
Thanks as always xxx.

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[atomic sagebrush]

Honestly, I think those were great attempts and it just wasn't the month. I do agree a CD 12 attempt would have been the bee's knees but likely it just wasn't meant to be this time.

If your cycle is very regular I'd likely just count on it coming CD 13/14 and hit it with attempt CD 12 even if your OPK is not cooperating.

[Missv]

Thanks Atomic.
AF finished yesterday. So do you think it's a good idea to follow last month's frequency (adding CD12)?
Or would be better have an intercourse now (to regenerate sperm) and then BD with multiple consecutive attempts directly in the most fertile window (0-2, 0-1, 0, 0+1)? I'm afraid that releases too close and "far" from the O day can lower the number of sperm and therefore the chances of conception.
Does what I said make sense?
Thanks xxx.

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[atomic sagebrush]

As long as he is releasing every 2-4 days early on, it will NOT deplete him. So having sex CD 6, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14 is all good, and then 15 guarded against delayed O. The early attempts will simply "encourage" more fresh sperm to be made and then the attempts in the fertile window (11, 12, 13, 14, possibly 15) will all have a chance to survive and make it to the egg.

The only people who have attempts that are too many and too far are people who have sex literally every day starting CD 1 and going thru ovulation. Many people try to do this and that is very depleting. But skipping a couple days means he has time to regenerate, and by having regular sex it tells his body "keep making more sperm!" Whereas, abstaining for too long tells his body to make fewer sperm.

You guys did just right last month, it just wasnt the month. If you're worried about it, though, you could try stretching it a day so like CD 6, 9, 12 13 14 15. (though I do like to see a CD 11 attempt in case O happens CD 12 or 13!)

[Missv]

Hi atomic,
after 26 days it wasn't the month even this time...
Preparing for a new attempt I had a doubt: when you talk about the first positive OPK do you mean the PEAK one?
To be clear, I'm using digital clear blue (estrogen and LH) with the flashing smile (high fertility) and the steady smile (peak). So as Ovulation day I could consider the peak day or the day after the peak day?
Thanks xx

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[atomic sagebrush]

The peak, first solid smiley is usually the day before ovulation. So ovulation usually happens the day of the SECOND peak, second time you get the solid smiley.

[Missv]

Hi Atomic, I am preparing for a new attempt this month and I need your advice ... This time I was thinking of dtd only once (outside the fertile window) and then concentrate 4 attempts in the fertile window (one attempt a day). I will use digital clear blue to monitor ovulation (which detects the 4 most fertile days). Do you think I should start when the flashing smiley appears (high fertility) or when the solid smiley appears (the peak)? Thanks xxx

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[atomic sagebrush]

What is the advantage of DTD only once out of the fertile window?

What will your hubby's release pattern be??

[Missv]

I don't know if there is an advantage, probably not. But from the experience of the last few months it seems to me that doing bd 2/3 times outside the fertile window decreases the "desire" in the fertile window (last time we bd just CD 12,13). I don't know why but it seems we can't bd for more than 2 consecutive days, maybe focusing on the fertile window can help libido and increase the number of attempts in the fertile window?

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[atomic sagebrush]

When are you having these 2-3 times out of the fertile window?

While hubby does need to keep releasing at the longest every 4-5 days apart, it's totally fine to skip having attempts just before the fertile window opens in favor of just the fertile window attempts. But I don't want to see you guys not having sex/release AT ALL out of the fertile window in an effort to "save up sperm" because that's not how it works.

To sum up - Have sex at least 2x every week regardless of whether you're in fertile window. In the week of fertile window, u can totally use the fertile window ONLY as the best time to have those attempts. I just don't want you guys trying to "save sperm" for more than 4-5 days at a time max because that will kill more sperm than it saves.