Need help deciding on frequency -- abstain alone or add compressed FR?

[dramabird]

Hi ladies,

All right, I should be about one month away from our first attempt. I would love love love some help/advice/suggestions/bullying -- -- about what frequency route to take. I've got just about everything else locked down:

• Since late September, switched to 90-95% vegetarian.
• Since Dec. 30, switched to the LE diet (and *completely* vegetarian).
• I started at 107 lbs. and I'm now at 103.6 lbs. (I was losing nothing when I averaged 1600 calories a day, and very little at 1300 calories; finally found the weight creeping off a bit better by sticking to 1100-1200 calories)
• Normally a moderate exerciser, I've gone the couch potato route since late September.
• I've been taking Vitex every morning and evening for a few months (will switch to AF-O once TTC).
• I've been taking Saw Palmetto for about three weeks (will switch to AF-O once TTC) -- I was drinking a few double-strength peppermint teas each day prior to that.
• I'm easing into baby aspirin, planning on taking two this week, three the next, etc., so long as I don't get all bruise-y.
• DH has starting taking 3600mg cranberry.
• DH will take licorice root from AF-O.
• I'm drinking lots of Diet Coke and Crystal Light -- DH is having one or two Crystal Lights a day.
• DH is switching to briefs (he's usually a boxers man).
• I plan on using RepHresh every three days after AF and Sylk for lube.

My gut is to go with abstaining for 7-10 days (I've been temping for four months now; in that time, I ovulated on day 20, then day 15, then day 13, then day 15 again, so would probably start DH's abstain on day 4). Then using my ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor, we would DTD on the first peak symbol. That shows up in the morning and I usually ovulate the next day -- so 24 or so hours later, give or take?

Why am I leaning abstaining? I'm 33 and DH is 34 (turns 35 in June), so it seems we have the age flexibility to do so. Also, we did super-boy-friendly babydancing for both our boys (every other day for DS2, every other day for a week and then switching to every day for a few days for DS1) ... so the abstaining route isn't something we've ever tried before.

All that being said ... obviously, at 103.6 lbs. now, I don't have tons of weight to lose ... if I drop much below 98 lbs., say, DH will start getting cranky and less cooperative. And while I'm doing a darn good job of staying below my levels (calories, sodium, protein, etc.) this diet does kinda blow (I could eat about an entire roast chicken right now, chased by a bucket of Reese's peanut butter cups! ) and knowing that each BFN would mean another four weeks on it could sure be stressful/depressing.

Sooo ... my questions ('bout time, right? Can you tell I'm a writer by profession? Too bad I don't get paid by the word!!):

• Does the plan look good as-is?
• Or should I stick with a one-time shot but drop either RepHresh or Sylk?
• Or should we DTD right after abstaining and then switch to a compressed FR (maybe DTD in the a.m., have DH release once in the late afternoon/early evening and then DTD again in the p.m., with ovulation to follow the next day)? That is, of course, assuming that DH can do that, with the licorice root in his system? (He's not taking that until our first TTC month, so we'll be going into it not knowing how it affects his libido.)

Like I said, votes and opinions and nudges would be most appreciated. I don't want to testosterone my way through this decision (stress = blue!!), but I want to be smart about it. It's that balance we're all seeking: Do all the pink swaying we can but still get pregnant so we can quit all the pink swaying! Even with my boys, it took me two months each time to get pregnant, and that's with doing all the right high-fertility stuff.

Goodness, Atomic's analogy to "The Price is Right" was perfect -- the nearest price without going over!

[Cinss]

I think your plan looks good. I know many many many women get pg with 1 shot wonders but i think it is a lot harder to fall pg with only 1 shot. So if you don't mind trying for a few cycles then go that route, but if you want to get pg quicker i would go with DTD after abstain then compress FR.

[rainbowflower]

Agree with Cinss - 1 attempt will lower your chances unless you're already super-fertile and conceived first cycle with your boys.

I always feel that you should follow your gut because then you'll have less regrets and you know your body best.

if you did compressed FR I'd aim to BD as soon after his release as you can... I've not seen any studies about subsequent releases following a long period of abstaining so don't know if your numbers would rocket up now the "old batch" were out of the way and the fresher ones could move in. Wonder what Atomic thinks about that.


BTW I'm a writer by trade too (technical writer)

[sis4O]

Wow, you are TINY! I hear you about the diet. It's especially hard when feeding 2 teens, dh and 2 toddlers. The teens get the best stuff!! I think your plan looks great. I'm older so have decided to bd through O with FR. I'm using Rephresh with Sylk for lube. Every other day I do a finger of Replens ( very small). I'm not doing any antihistamine because I am already super dry. My only concern for me is my weight has plateaued at 109 first thing in am. I am 5'7". Maybe I should cut even more calories? I'm worried if I get too low I won't O but if not low enough another boy.

I am impressed with all your thoughtful effort. It certainly appears you've done all your research. The only thing I will add is about the Licorice Root, my dh is 41 so a bit older, he had a hard time with FR. If you end up deciding to go that way just beware. Good luck with attempts. Hoping to hear pink for us all soon.

[dramabird]

Oh, I'm glad you reminded me, sis4O, I forgot to include that I am also planning on using Zyrtec -- I tested it out this cycle and used it several days in a row (although I did still find EWCM on all of those days, despite the antihistamine). So I was considering adding in Benadryl, too. But at what point does abstain + one-shot BD + RepHresh + Sylk + Zyrtec + Benadryl make getting pg darn near impossible? And if that is the case, which thing (things) listed in the equation above do I dare drop without swinging back into blue territory?

Ahh, where's Bob Barker when you need him?

[dramabird]

BTW I'm a writer by trade too (technical writer)

High-five for word-nerd girls!

[zanacal]

I know alot of ladies are going with several attempts from the outset but it was always important to me to do just one attempt for at least one or two cycles before I started dropping things from my 'ideal' sway. If your gut is telling you that one attempt is somehow 'better' then I would do that in the first instance - at least if you get pregnant with an opposite and you tried that first you can rationalise it by saying that you had to DTD more/drop jellies/drop antihistimines (whatever) because you weren't getting pregnant. It's entirely up to you and I hope you'll go with whatever feels most comfortable to you

[atomic sagebrush]

I cannot tell you what to do here because I see the wisdom in both ways. You prob. should get pg sooner rather than later not only for your weight but also because you have taken the SP and V for so long, and that may give you additional benefits to getting pg this first month. On the other hand if your gut is saying abstain, I think you have to consider that you might have major regrets if you don't give it at least one month just to see if you could get pg doing everything (if you were to conceive an opposite)

[dramabird]

Okay, the panel says "go with the gut!" Thank you, ladies! So for February, I will do the plan as outlined. If I get a BFN (oh, for the love of all the pepperoni pizza in the world, let it be a BFP! ) then I shall return with the question of "What one thing to drop/add for March?" (e.g., add compressed FR? drop Zyrtec? drop Sylk? etc.)

I think my plan would be to do small movements. With each BFN, change just one thing (but never the LE diet, of course). After a few months, that might mean switching from abstain to FR ... I'm thinking I should be able to get two months (maybe three) of abstain out of DH and after that he's gonna be getting fed up (and super tired of wearing briefs and ready for me to get pg already ). Switching to FR might also mean dropping LR (it'll depend on his tolerance of that supp).

Oh, one thing I guess I haven't really considered: With all the fertility-limiting stuff I'm doing (abstain, one-shot, RepHresh and Sylk, etc.) I hadn't really considered jump-and-dump. Would you agree that that really would be one thing too much? I wouldn't lay there forever -- maybe five minutes before getting up to pee. But that's enough time for swimmers to swim, right?

[atomic sagebrush]

I would table the "what to drop" question until it comes to that. Because you may find that you just HATE one of these and then it will be a no-brainer what to drop.

I would prob. lay flat for 5 min. with any one shot attempt.