Uk SMOG Wannabes ~ February

[Lavenderlime]

Babymad, Attemps going well RE TTC but not swaying though I'll be dtd every day from cd10-17. So frequent but not doing timing or anything just want to be pregnant really now. I still believe in swaying but not as much as I did as our thread is very 50/50 really as it would be with-out swaying. So still taking sups eating the diet but slightly more lax like i'll eat rich tea biscuits or a bit of choc if I fancy it but keeping away from obvious no, no's, potatoes, banana's, salt fruit and veg, meat (don't eat it anyway). Still eating a low calorie diet. but trying not to loose anymore weight as I want to ovulate this cycle kinda important when ttc!! lol

I have looked into adoption alot I was never going to have a third but still longed for a girl. Especially as we are a mixed raced family and they like to place mixed raced kids with mixed raced families where possible. I'd obviously like to adopt a girl (toddler or baby). DP isn't keen at all, he's not sure how he'd feel about having a child that wasn't his flesh and blood. DP's mum is also abit funny about adoption because she and her sister are adopted (as babies). I really would consider it again if I were to have a third boy. But not fostering as i'd get far too attached and want to keep them all, plus find the back stories too distressing.
Is this something you have been thinking about?

[zanacal]

{hugs} Indigo x

[deaks66]

Random question I know but ask anyway.....
Has anyone ever considered adoption/ long term fostering?

I have considered it but like lavenders dp, my dh isnt keen at all as he doesnt think he will feel the same as he does towards his flesh and blood. I think he'd be proved wrong though but i dont think he would give himself the chance to find out! What does your dh think?

[deaks66]

Lavender, GL with your attempts, your plan sounds great to me! X

[chocolate]

No I didnt post a pic as it is just a 3d front on, Im so convinced this is a boy, all the good nub guessers have said boy, they cant all be wrong. Getting ready to announce the pregnancy to everyone now, its horrible but Ive been putting it off as I dont want there pity and comments, but am dealing with it ok for now, still concerntrating on going high tech which is probably why Im coping ok.

Fostering etc. - I couldnt do, I know a foster carer and it isnt how I thought it would be, she has to be quite strict on the foster children as the way they were treated is reflected one way or another in their behaviour. And impacts far too much on her own children too.

Adopting - would love to think I could but realistically I feel guilty sometimes of loosing my patience with my children etc. or just having bad days with housework so would feel like Im not good enough to adopt even though I know realistically there are probably many children who would love to be part of our family, does make me sad thinking that way, but my OH struggles now with our boys so no way would he be able to go through adopting and come out the other side not grey!

[Kell]

Deaks have you been to the swimming pool at Hemel? It's much better than letchworth! There is a large paddling area, it also has a water fountain but that the toddlers can walk under if they are comfortable to do so, also has a lazy river and lots of slides, most of the slides are no good for young kids but there is one I take Charlie on and he loves it!
I haven't been swimming in so long I really should go but I just look fat at the moment really not use to that definatly not in pregnancy!

My dp is the same as all yours about adoption, I have a family friend who fostered youngster and babies in Scotland, it was so sad some of the places they came from, and in most cases you still have to allow access to the parents who have neglected them to give the opportunity to build relationships and maybe go back home. She ended up with two boys who were with her for a long time, they are now in her perminant custody as she just could not see them in the fostering system for ever and she just fell in love with them! I think I'd be the same if I did it.

[indigoviolet]

thanks girls, can't go back for free as it was a special promotion they were doing today as it was their 2 year anniversary. I could go back and pay but I didn't feel much confidence in the scan lady, she seemed a bit dopey!
I know what you mean about boy being obvious but I *think* I know what I saw so don't have much hope. Dh says it is def a boy. So annoying not to know absolutely for sure as that tiny bit of hope is so hard....

charlie- so so much luck for tomorrow!!

[Babymad]

Lavender ~ sounds like a great sway, GL! X
Chocolate ~ I started looking into hi- tech when DS3 was a baby which helped me get through those sad days. I think that's why it's so much harder this time because there is no back up plan!

I have mentioned adoption in the past to my DH, only on a joking level really but we haven't spoken about it properly. I would definitely consider it but it does bother me that people would know why we had adopted...because we (I really as DH happy with just boys) wanted a girl....not sure I could cope with the comments either to my face or behind my back....it goes back to people thinking I don't love my boys and just wanted a girl. Which realistically is what people are going to think with us having 4 boys and then adopting a girl.
Can you actually apply for adoption on gender grounds? What they be happy to hear that you only want a particular gender? How do begin the process?
Im 36 now so I wouldn't want to start the process too late as feel old and knackersd already

[Babymad]

thanks girls, can't go back for free as it was a special promotion they were doing today as it was their 2 year anniversary. I could go back and pay but I didn't feel much confidence in the scan lady, she seemed a bit dopey!
I know what you mean about boy being obvious but I *think* I know what I saw so don't have much hope. Dh says it is def a boy. So annoying not to know absolutely for sure as that tiny bit of hope is so hard....

charlie- so so much luck for tomorrow!!

Sounds like the sonographer wasn't really up to the job to be honest! I'm very surprised she couldn't confirm the gender! BUT I do think hat is a good girly sign...did the lady actually say she thought boy??

[maybebabythree]

Lavender did youday before you or dp is Asian? I can't remember? Much easier to find Afro-caribian mixed kiddies. I have thought a lot about fostering but unless it's a baby taken at birth from a teenage mum for adoption or from a drug user I think they are emotionally scared kids. I couldn't take on a child older than three for the sake of my kids just because of the new kids proble behaviour issues. I'm just not that strong. Also I worry I would bond with them and then lose them. Adoption seems such a long process which is so so sad. I had a encounter with a woman with mental health issues who had her dd taken at birth. So so sad and I just couldn't deal with visits etc or her or her family tracking me down. I love the idea but I'm just to weak for the fight.