TTC Girl- April 2012

[dramabird]

Talk about a rollercoaster day -- Mocha, congratulations!! HopeandDream, sending lots of positive, happy thoughts your way.

Nothing too exciting to report around these parts. I'm still avoiding food-journaling and sticking to mostly veggies, fruit and "junk" (cookies, candy, ice cream, etc.). My weight is staying pretty consistent, in the 96ish-97ish lb. area. A few days ago, the scale did read 95.8 -- I DID NOT tell DH about that ... he would freak! So I figure that, even without journaling, I must be keeping the fat, protein and calories pretty much in check. I did find some matzo at Trader Joe's and I made Atomic's matzo pizza last night -- it *was* delicious!! Gonna have that again tonight, along with some white wine, maybe an apple ... and then bring on the "junk."

Speaking of a different kind of junk -- hee hee -- DH is "so far, so good" on the switch to FR. We pretty much DTD daily when conceiving DS1, so we're having him release twice daily, once in the a.m. and once in the p.m. Starting around CD10, we'll have the p.m. one be with me.

So, I'm going to ask a question here and please don't think I'm horrible. Does anyone else feel like they can't win (with themselves, emotionally/mentally) when ladies announce the results of their sway? If someone gets an opposite, I feel all despair-y, like "Oh no ... swaying doesn't work!" And if someone gets their DG, I'm happy for them, but I also have a "all the girls are taken now! only boys are left!" freak-out because, y'know, statistics can eat your brains for dinner.

I'm a bad person, aren't I? Everyone else is sweet and pure-hearted and I'm a Sucky Suckerson, aren't I? Aaaaarrrgggghh.

I don't mean to be a Scrooge Swayer. I want to be good. *slapping away jealousy and fear* Be gone, shame spiral ... must get that wine now!

[HopeandDreamG]

Drama- truth is everyone feels that way!! Your not a bad person. We want to hear it works bc that gives us hope but then fear then it won't happen for ourselves too. I think that's all it is! Sooooo normal!!!

[Mochagirl]

I hope the baby still sticks, but...I would keep going this month, if it is a chemical, I think the seasons/and progesterone plus the early m/c itself (soooo sorry) may sway girl strongly...

Hope - I'm praying hard for your little bean .

If this is a chemical, though, I agree with auroara - definitely try this month. I think getting pregnant the first cycle after my m/c was a big factor in me getting my girl.

[Mochagirl]

So, I'm going to ask a question here and please don't think I'm horrible. Does anyone else feel like they can't win (with themselves, emotionally/mentally) when ladies announce the results of their sway? If someone gets an opposite, I feel all despair-y, like "Oh no ... swaying doesn't work!" And if someone gets their DG, I'm happy for them, but I also have a "all the girls are taken now! only boys are left!" freak-out because, y'know, statistics can eat your brains for dinner.

I'm a bad person, aren't I? Everyone else is sweet and pure-hearted and I'm a Sucky Suckerson, aren't I? Aaaaarrrgggghh.

I don't mean to be a Scrooge Swayer. I want to be good. *slapping away jealousy and fear* Be gone, shame spiral ... must get that wine now!

It just means you're human, drama. I felt *exactly* the same way as you with every sway result announcement I heard.

[dramabird]

It just means you're human, drama. I felt *exactly* the same way as you with every sway result announcement I heard.

And now you get a hug ... And I genuinely am so happy for you and the other ladies who have heard those magical "It's a girl" words. Hopefully you're paving the way for the rest of us!!

[dramabird]

Drama- truth is everyone feels that way!! Your not a bad person. We want to hear it works bc that gives us hope but then fear then it won't happen for ourselves too. I think that's all it is! Sooooo normal!!!

And a hug for you, too! Especially given that you're going through a challenging time right now, your kindness is much appreciated.

Much like Atomic, my mom said she had mini "periods" while pregnant with me. One suggestion, FWIW: I'd stop temping now. I never temped after a BFP because I was afraid any drops would completely freak me out.

And I agree with the others: If this does turn out to be a chemical, def. jump back on the TTC wagon. Some cheats or whatnot during the 2ww won't make or break your sway ... whereas forcing yourself to wait and essentially start over could be detrimental emotionally and make you throw in the towel altogether.

But the hope is that all of that will be moot because this tough little (pink) bean is gonna stick! I'm adding my prayers to Kraizy's, right here and now.

[HopeandDreamG]

Thanks drama. I need to put the thermometer down! Glad To hear about your mom.

No spotting overnight. Tiny tiny bit when I wiped after FMU. Also hpt still positive. Line doesnt look so dark, but clearly there. Guess all is ok for now. Will get results from yesterday's beta and progesterone, I will call office when they open.

[Mochagirl]

Hope - I'm glad the spotting's under control. That's a good sign. Still praying for you and I'll be waiting for an update .

[HopeandDreamG]

Thanks mocha. Did u sleep last night!! Don't think I could have. So happy for you. I pray this baby sticks and I hear those same words. I dint think I will ever want anything else this badly!

[prayforprincess]

H&D -- I think it sounds like everything will be ok. I am happy for you.

Mocha -- Amazing news! You are so blessed. I can only imagine how incredible it was to hear "its a girl". I would have been crying. Go shop some pink now!

Drama -- I feel the same way. You are sooooooo normal. When I hear of a swaying opposite I think "it must not work" and when I hear of a swaying DG I think "so happy it worked for them; but was it the swaying that worked or was it meant to be, I don't know." But I also think that I could never be that lucky that it would work on me, like I would be one of the women who have a swaying opposite for sure, no matter how hard I try. I just feel like I will never have a daughter and I should give up, b/c I will never be one of those lucky ones -- and its only that much more heartbreaking in the end having thought that I possibly could be a lucky one.
So don't beat yourself up about beating yourself up -- I do it too!