Power of the mind..

[hopingforsaskia]

How powerful do you think our minds are?

I'm not a believer in visualization per se, but for whatever reason I feel the need to say "when" I get pregnant with my daughter, instead of "if". I'm not trying to be positive, it's like, I am positive (as in, certain), even though I'm fully aware that swaying is by no means guaranteed.

Does anyone else feel so calm and confident? And do you think it's worth maintaining this kind of attitude for the sake of the sway, or do you think I'm just setting myself up for disappointment and should be more "realistic" just in case it doesn't work?

I'm not even sure I worded that properly.. Hopefully you guys understand what I'm trying to say.

[begonia]

This type of thing totally damaged me, FWIW! Not saying you can necessarily avoid it though... I mean, I truly, deeply, with everything I had in me believed I would have a son. I "saw" the ultrasound, I saw myself giving birth to him, I saw him with my girls. I always wanted 3 kids (all boys, LOL) and having already had 2 DD, I was just *sure* that the 3rd would be my boy. Kind of like you said, it wasn't like I intended to set myself up that way, I just ... really believed it. So much that I thought it was meant to be, which is why when it didn't happen, I was pretty blindsided.

My advice is IF you can, try to imagine that 3rd boy. Try to be real with yourself that it is a very real possibility, even with a solid sway. I know that's hard to do though, I *thought* I was OK with a 3rd girl and now that she's here of course I love her, but I have to say when I heard "girl" at the u/s I was crushed... I really did believe that in my group of 3 kids there would be at least one of my DG.

[begonia]

Just thought I'd add that I was the same way with DD2 though. I was SURE she was a boy and I hadn't even swayed (or heard of swaying) ... it was just that dead-set thing in my head that I was going to have a son, so surely since my 1st wasn't him, my 2nd one would be. And then surely since my 2nd one wasn't him ... LOL, my 3rd one would be ... Sometimes all you can do is laugh

[atomic sagebrush]

I can totally see both sides of this. I think if you're calm, cool, and collected about it, that's great and will only help your sway (for pink OR blue). But I think some people do visualizations as a way to "ensure" they get their DG - like "The Secret" or power of positive thinking and get a bit more worked up about it than they realize. Esp. pink swayers because the more they dwell on conceiving a girl, the more they think about it and convince themselves that they can make it happen thru sheer force of will, the more potential they have for raising T.

For blue swayers, I can imagine that visualization may help if it helps to raise confidence and testosterone, but so many blue swayers are very confident women and ostensibly high in T and then still conceive girls for other reasons. Testosterone is not everything.

I do think you can set yourself up for major disappointment by being really 100% convinced of your baby's gender. I didn't even have gender pref. when I got pg with DS 3, it's just because I had such a strong feeling he was a she.

[bythestream]

I also think its good to be positive but I think most of my gender disappointment when I found out I was having DS2 was because I was sure he was a girl (we did a shettles sway and I thought it was a sure thing, haha). Next time im assuming boy then I won't be disappointed.

[amari]

I think it is great, but can see what people are saying about yourself up for a bigger disappointment. I am having a hard time thinking of a 3rd boy even though I know the chances are really high. But being cool and confident for a girl sway is great!

[Sassy]

I'm going to go slightly against the grain here and say that if its another tool in your swaying arsenal then why not use it? So long as you know that visualising and being confident doesn't guarantee your DG then at least at the end of your swaying journey, no matter what the outcome, you can say you tried everything you could.

[RedCanoe]

I'm like most on here, I was SURE that DS#3 would be a girl. I swayed girl but in my mind it was more of a formality, lol, as I was convinced that we would have BBG no matter what we did or did not do. I thought so from the start and was proven right twice, we had the two boys, so it felt like it was all coming together like it was "supposed" to. You know, until the gender scan with the unmistakable boy bits, that is, lol.

So I don't know, I think it's good to be positive, but as you can see there are a lot of us that were also so sure and were wrong....

[Flava]

I was sure DD3 is a boy and mad my biggest GD with her because of it. So for me it's better not to believe it.
But I see everyone else who had this already say the same thing.

[hopingforsaskia]

I'm going to go slightly against the grain here and say that if its another tool in your swaying arsenal then why not use it? So long as you know that visualising and being confident doesn't guarantee your DG then at least at the end of your swaying journey, no matter what the outcome, you can say you tried everything you could.

This is pretty much how I feel about it. I'm realistic, knowing there is a good chance we'll get a boy - and he will be the baby we tried hardest to get if so!! But I really do hope that feeling calm and confident will only help as Atomic suggested, and I'm going to use it as a "tool" to both keep myself from obsessing, and maximise my chances. I think if I was a doubting thomas the whole time telling myself it's a boy etc etc, I'd actually blame myself for not having the belief that I can have what I've worked so hard for.

Anyway, it's going to take a LOT of work (thanks atomic for a KILLER sway plan!! ) and if it's going to *work*, this will make it happen. If I don't get my DG, I'll live with the knowledge that it was honestly never going to happen for me, and we can close the book and move on.

Thanks again everyone for all your input! I really appreciate it!