HT why or why not...?

[fun family]

I'm supposed to start my HT cycle in a few days. I don't know why, but I've never felt 100% sure this is what I want to do. Part of me feels that I could just be happy with my 4 boys and move on...part of me feels like I could try again naturally (probably not though...Dh is against it). It seems like a lot of the HT ladies have known for a long time that they FOR SURE want to try PGD. That they would do almost anything to try HT.

I've never felt that strongly about it and I'm not sure why. Part of it is the money--- it certainly costs a ton, but thats not the only reason. We could afford 2-3 cycles without too much trouble, although it is money we could always spend on other things. I know money isn't the only thing holding me back though. My heart just isn't totally into it and I'm trying to figure out what the other reasons are and if I want to move forward with HT or not. Am I just getting cold feet? I don't think so, as I've never been totally sure. I've just leaned towards HT and thought about it a lot. I just don't want to have regrets, either way. I'm just curious--are any of you going to try HT in the future? If not, why not? Does anyone regret not trying HT in the past or sooner?

[begonia]

Wow, Fun Family, I'll be interested to read your replies as I find myself in a similar boat. Really, almost word for word. My DH isn't on board for it at this point, but like most things I want I'm fairly sure I could get him to my side But if I did?!? Would I really go through with it? I don't know.

I think the only thing that MIGHT get me through all of it is to picture myself holding that DS, for you, your DD. Then it seems worth it and doable. But I hate to do that because even with HT there's no guarantee that you'll get pregnant ... like you we can afford several cycles, but it is a lot of money to spend when there's no knowledge as to whether you'll really end up successful.

So I guess I've not much to offer in terms of helping you evaluate your situation but at least you know you're not alone

[nuthinbutpink]

If you can go HT and you want a gender and not just a baby, do HT. If all the planning has made you realize you don't need a daughter and you are able to go forward with your existing family, that's awesome.

If you know deep down you really want a gender and HT IS an option and you decide to try naturally instead, I think you will kick yourself. I think the number of kids you have now makes a huge difference. If you had 1-2 kids, give swaying a chance. With 3-4 already and HT is an option, take the guarantee.

It really is the distinction between owning up to wanting a gender not just a baby. I think often times we can fool ourselves into believing we will be okay. Not always, but often.

HT is a gamble but most big things in life are.

[Daisy Mae]

What helped push me forward was the thought of me in 50 years. Would I regret not trying all I could for a dd? I decided that if I did not at least try HT, I would regret it one day when I was old and gray. If I tried HT and did not get pregnant, I could know in my heart that I did all I could for a dd. I felt at peace with that.

[RedCanoe]

If you can go HT and you want a gender and not just a baby, do HT.

I think that's exactly it. With #3 I wanted another baby and would have strongly preferred a girl. So we swayed (and failed, lol). Now with #4 I just want a DD. If HT fails for us we won't try naturally as we don't just want another baby. If DS3 had been a girl we would not have had any more kids; we had always planned on 2-3, but had figured that we would have one of each in that mix.

GL with your decision!

[Searching]

Oh, funfamily. I can completely relate. Every time I get too close to going HT, I take a few steps back. I also can't figure out why, exactly.

[fun family]

If you can go HT and you want a gender and not just a baby, do HT.

When Dh and I got married, we both wanted lots of kids, maybe 4-6 we said. We wanted them to have each other to play with and we thought a large family would be fun. Now that we have 4...we are thinking 4 is a pretty good number! Not so keen on going for six, lol. So if I did try to get pg, it would be for gender, and not just another baby.

. If all the planning has made you realize you don't need a daughter and you are able to go forward with your existing family, that's awesome.

I feel like this too, but not sure how strongly. My GD was only really bad for 2 days after my u/s with #4...and since then it has really faded. It only comes back when people make rude comments (which is unfortunately too often). But there are so many days where I am completely gd free. But its not all the way gone. Its so hard...its kind of like...my boys are "cake" and having a girl would be the "icing on the cake." But I'm not sure I really need the icing, because the cake is very delicious without it too! Do I really want to spend all this time, money, energy, stress, etc just to attempt to add icing to the cake? Thats the best way I can describe how i feel.

[4BOYS]

If you can go HT and you want a gender and not just a baby, do HT.

This 1000%

I fell pregnant to have a girl not another baby, as hard as it is to admit it is the truth.
If i could go back 6 months in time and knew what i know now ,i would be doing HT ,i wish i had spent more time on the HT boards back then ,i think i would of made a different desision.
At the end of the day if swaying has failed me again, then i will be doing HT next year anyway ,and i will have 6 kids instead of 5 and that extra child is going cost alot more than HT would of cost in the first place , if that makes sense.
And if swaying has worked and i do indead have a girl , i can honestly say that the stress that i have been through with swaying , friends/family comments , the nub theory ,and just my own feelings in general havnt been worth it its been hell,if i had of done HT i wouldnt have gone through that.
HT is a gamble but i think that swaying or just falling pregnant with GD is a bigger gamble with much higher stakes
and if i was back in your shoes again deciding which road to travel down ,i would choose HT in a heartbeat ,i hope this helps ,GL

[jils04]

Ht is not easy, nor is swaying. They both entail stress,worry,possible heartbreak etc... Its which is the lesser pain for you personally. I always say try swaying if you can handle an opposite,otherwise ht it is.
Being on the other side now, 4 cycles under the belt, it was still worth it. I didnt want another baby, i wanted a ds. Children are gorgeous and wonderful but very expensive and huge work as we all know,so its def a no brainer.

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[auroara78]

I didn't think I'd be writing this, but my advice is:

Go HT.

I love your "cake" and "icing" analogy, and I love that your boys are so delicious But I think this is the sort of thing (being that you already have 4 kids), that if you put your feet in the water and dived in, if you did get pg with your DD, you will be over the moon and the icing will be well worth any trouble/stress that may be encountered on the road.

I had to think a lot about just swaying before I got pregnant as far as: everyone said just stay with two kids, you and your DH can't make girls, etc, and we can't afford/have issue with HT, so I had to do swaying, because even if I had a 3rd DS, I wanted to know at least I tried.

With your situation of having the money and a very willing, supportive DH, I would take the chance in a heartbeat. Because what is more important? Feeling a little lukewarm about it now or a few years down the road, watching a DD grow up, having fun with her older brothers, knowing you made the right choice? You'll never know if it was the right choice unless you go down that road.