ever been in my shoes?

[kpmum]

I don't know if many of you have been in the same situation but i just found out one of my friends is having a baby girl (which i very much long for) I am happy for her but she is one of those people that like to rub people's noses in her successes. She keeps saying things like "I'm so over the moon it's a girl" "i have everything i want now". Honestly the only reason i didnt have much GD with my DS2 is because my DH and i decided we would try HT for our 3rd child. I know many people that are pregnant this year and there are bound to be some baby girls born but i knew that if this one friend of mine has a girl it was really going to bother me. I'll admit "the green eyed monster" is rearing its head. To be honest all i can think about is going to try HT earlier than planned (planning 2013). Anyone ever been in my shoes? I know im being silly and i am truly grateful for my precious little boys- just really really want my DD to complete my family!

[Butterfly Spirit]

OH YES I have! My BFF had her girl in December and she is the type to brag too.. And I have another friend with two girls that wants a third but only a girl.. Then she complains and says she's depressed because she's not getting pregnant with her girl! (really!?)
BFF has 3 boys and 3 girls now.. an even split! And in Jan BFF warned me, "You and him need to be careful! I hate to break it to you, but I have a feeling it's going to be a boy!" She thinks she has psychic ability. Yet with DS#1 she was 100% sure it would be a girl.
Yet when I call her to tell her I'm prego I tell her I'm ONLY telling her because I feel strongly it's a girl, and I don't want to hear crap from anyone! Even my own mom, that it's a BOY. And at that moment ironically she said "You know what!? I think it is a girl!"
Why do people closest to us crush our dreams so quickly? People can be so cruel. It's all about competition!
Before I found out the gender of DS#2 my own sister who is OLDER said "it would serve you right to have twin boys!" Then she has jealousy issues, and isn't even trying to find a husband.
In the midst of TTC my DH would pick the worst stressful moment with our kids and blurt out " I only want 2 kids" "I'm done having kids!" "I don't want anymore kids with YOU" etc etc...
And it was one crazy rollercoaster of Hell. But I decided that when she was meant to come, she would! And that I would never feel complete until I had a girl.
You aren't being silly at all! If you want to go HT and ever earlier than planned then do it! Jump in with both feet and don't look back.

[mydream]

Oh YES. I have totally been in your shoes and I am in them again!! I am praying that all 3 of my friends all have boys!!!! I can't beat hearing girl, especially for the one who already has a boy and a girl!! She is always making negative comments about how different girls are from boys.... Bla bla bla. !!! It's so annoying!

[angel in a pink sky]

I have been in your shoes a million times. The thing to remember is there something lacking in your friend's life that she is over compensating with all her bragging. Her comments are going to hit a nerve because of your desire to have a daughter. If I were you I would try to objectively determine whether she is just happy she is having a girl or she is trying to hurt you because you confided in her of your dream for a daughter. If it is the latter you need to put some distance in your friendship. Don't change your plans based on your friends comments. Do what is right by your family and your time table and it will all work out. I will be cheering you on when I see on the HT boards and don't let your friend get you down.

[nuthinbutpink]

Yes. My husband old work partner found our they were having twin boys after a DD first. Hurt like hell.

[kpmum]

Unfortunately I do think her comments r trying to be deliberately hurtful. She always says things like "god I couldn't deal with 2 boys" when looking at my boys but I've always managed to not let them bother me too much as I know how lucky I am to have them and how wonderful they r. We had both talked about the prospect of HT in the past but there is no way we r telling anyone we know our plans ESP her! If the gloating and comments were to end soon from when she found out she was having a girl I could get over it easily but I know it's only going to get worse- ESP when the baby comes. I know I can't let her get to me. Jealously is a horrible feeling that I'm not accustomed. I won't change my plans despite my desire too as I know it's not the right time and think I would find having 3 young children at home too difficult. I'm going to try and keep busy and do some study and things that make me feel happy and give me a sense of achievement. Hopefully when my times comes in July we will be blessed. In the mean time I'm happy to cheer everyone else on and learn from everyone else's wisdom and journeys

[Zivic-Bubac]

Been there! A friend of my husband just had a son after 2 daughters, no swaying no nothing. Arrgghhhh....
And he's all about: hey, maybe it will work for you too!

Guess what, it won't

[Butterfly Spirit]

Been there! A friend of my husband just had a son after 2 daughters, no swaying no nothing. Arrgghhhh....
And he's all about: hey, maybe it will work for you too!

Guess what, it won't

They just don't understand, especially MEN!

[Myloves]

Definitely. My sister had two girls, one of them during the same year as my oldest son and it really hurt at the time.

[auroara78]

My oldest sister has the only girl in the family (well until Lillian is born ) and at Christmas (when I was ovulating nonetheless) I was filling in the other sister about what I've done to sway and I was really happy just talking about the cool facts and nuggets I've learned, and my oldest sister was pissy, and said it wouldn't work, I'd end up with boy 3, yada yada....anyway, once she found out I was having a girl, she wasn't happy, and made up a BS excuse to avoid my second son's bday party...

Also, one of my closer friends (not so close now after you read what I'm about to say!) has an 18 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. She has gone on and on about how boys are better (though her daughter and her are super tight and love to go shopping together). Anyway, we used to work at the same job and she knew how badly I wanted a DD when I was prego with DS2, and fast forward a few months, we had lunch and I told her about swaying and how I was going to try one last time to get a girl. She informed me that my husband can only shoot boys (Glad to see she's a DR now) and that it wasn't worth the effort. I told her I always wanted a big family and I'd take my gamble.

Then I texted her that I was having a girl, and she said I'd regret it, that girls are horrible (yet, remember her daughter and her are super close), and that I would wish one day that I had a 3rd boy instead.....Needless to say, she keeps asking me to go to lucnh with her, but I don't need that kind of negativity in my life and I don't need someone (an alleged friend at that) to make me feel crappy about a wish that has been granted for me.

People can be really shitty sometimes. I think if you want to move your HT plans up, that you go for it only if it's right for you. You will get your DD. Some people (friends and family included) get very shitty when it comes to gender desire or what not. For my sister, she wanted me to have boy 3 because she wanted her daughter to be the only one and to remain that "special only" girl. For my friend, I don't know what issue is. She says one thing and does another, I don't understand it.

You will get your DD. This friend is insecure and obviously seeks pleasure from rubbing things in your face. I don't know if is a friend worth having around?