UK SMOG Wannabes APRIL

[deaks66]

Lavender, so exciting about your wedding in August! be lovely to have your boys there Yes i found beds, not through jellyjam but she said she could organise the shot-blasting/painting. However im beginning to think it would be silly to send them all the way to her for that when i can organise that myself. Anyway, thinking of a bright light blue instead of red as too much red in the room already. Here are the beds (wont be to everyones taste i know!)

bunkbeds.jpg

[Lavenderlime]

I LOVE the bunks. I was looking for iron bunks when looking for ds2's iron bed but I couldn't find any with a safety bar which yours have!! Also they never have ladders, how are your boys going to get into the top bunk or are they really good climbers?

I love the colour they are now so the blue you decribe will be perfect and agree sending them to Dorset to be shot blasted isn't economical. lol But great find, were they on e-bay? I bet your boys will love sharing a room mine always sneak into one anothers rooms and end up sleeping in the same bed.

Thankyou for the congratulations it really is fun planning a wedding and the fact that it's in four months means I won't change my mind and everything is already booked now so no turning back.

[auroara78]

Lavender, much thanks for the congrats! I did miss reading your posts, and I am so excited for you on your upcoming marriage!!

Regarding awful little cows, now that i'm having a DD I worry that she will be bullied by one or a few of them! I had a good childhood growing up, I had a very close best friend and an older brother I adored, but school life was not so good. I was snubbed a lot by the other girls in my class and was basically an outsider; I did good in school, read books, and just hung out with my brother. Not a bad life, but it took my self-esteem a while to build up because there were so many downright ruthless mean girls in my class that were always putting me down for no reason. That is my biggest fear / issue with having a DD now is that it would just hurt so badly to think of any spoiled bratty girl treatin my girl badly, you know?

I don't care if my girl is a tomboy, or a girly girl, or wants to play soccer, or be a balleria, or just wants to be book worm like me, I just want her to be happy.

And I worry how hard that'll be with all the pressure and how mean little girls can be. With all the love I had in my family growing up, it took me a long time to accept myself and not worry what "they" would think.

Is this just a trial of being female? Did any of you experience that? I do honestly think females have a much harder life in so many ways. We're expected to do "everything" and it's hard getting away from that.

[Sunset]

Regarding awful little cows, now that i'm having a DD I worry that she will be bullied by one or a few of them! I had a good childhood growing up, I had a very close best friend and an older brother I adored, but school life was not so good. I was snubbed a lot by the other girls in my class and was basically an outsider; I did good in school, read books, and just hung out with my brother. Not a bad life, but it took my self-esteem a while to build up because there were so many downright ruthless mean girls in my class that were always putting me down for no reason. That is my biggest fear / issue with having a DD now is that it would just hurt so badly to think of any spoiled bratty girl treatin my girl badly, you know?

I don't care if my girl is a tomboy, or a girly girl, or wants to play soccer, or be a balleria, or just wants to be book worm like me, I just want her to be happy.

And I worry how hard that'll be with all the pressure and how mean little girls can be. With all the love I had in my family growing up, it took me a long time to accept myself and not worry what "they" would think.

Is this just a trial of being female? Did any of you experience that? I do honestly think females have a much harder life in so many ways. We're expected to do "everything" and it's hard getting away from that.

I have alot of the same worries you do.. I was never picked on or left out when i was young, instead i was one of the 'popular' girls but even that isn't perfect. Growing up a girl is hard regardless, especially the teenage years with all the pressure to be pretty and fit in. All we can do to help our daughters along the way is to teach them to be themselves and most importantly to be happy with themselves. I don't think however that boys necessarily have it any easier than girls growing up.. i remember when i was growing up the pressure on the boys to be good looking and good at sports and to be "cool" was probably equal to that of what we girls experience. The only difference having a daughter to a son is that we can relate so much more to growing up a girl and becoming a woman which is probably also why we worry about these issues more when we have a girl. Unfortunately though kids are mean. My ds1 loves playing with the older kids on our street but to them because he's younger he's not "worth" playing with so they all group together and avoid him and ds2 for dear life ie. don't talk to them, run away, tell them to go away.. especially the "cooler" older boys, they like to make gestures to their friends to ridicule my son when they think i cant see and i'm just sooo happy my sons are too young to understand still... one day though these kids will taste my wrath!!

[deaks66]

I LOVE the bunks. I was looking for iron bunks when looking for ds2's iron bed but I couldn't find any with a safety bar which yours have!! Also they never have ladders, how are your boys going to get into the top bunk or are they really good climbers?

I love the colour they are now so the blue you decribe will be perfect and agree sending them to Dorset to be shot blasted isn't economical. lol But great find, were they on e-bay? I bet your boys will love sharing a room mine always sneak into one anothers rooms and end up sleeping in the same bed.

Thankyou for the congratulations it really is fun planning a wedding and the fact that it's in four months means I won't change my mind and everything is already booked now so no turning back.

Thanks lavender, i love them too! Was a really lucky find on gumtree up in edinburgh! only £100 which i didn't think was too bad (though the same amount to courier too!). Yes i too wanted a safety bar although jellyjam lady gets one made and fitted to the bunks she finds (not as nice as the original though IMO) . As for the ladder, you can buy wooden ladders separately and if i cant find one to fit, might get a carpenter i know to make one. I even found instructions on the net of how to make one myself which i might do! Isn't the blue lovely.... there is a tiny bit of that blue in the ck cowboy wallpaper in their room so its going to look fab! Hope my boys love sharing as much as yours do! i think the excitement of a bunkbed will help!

[zanacal]

Deaks - we now have 3 boys sharing and they love it! The best thing in the world is hearing them wake up and chat/play with each other in the morning

Agh, my head hurts - you know how you always feel you should wake up the 2 year old who falls asleep just before dinner and then when they cry constantly for at least the next half an hour you wish you hadn't?!

The girls (even my 'best friends') at primary school were pretty horrible and although I don't remember I'm sure I wasn't all lovely myself either. The girls in DS1's class can be right little madams but the boys can be pretty awful too! It doesn't seem to me at the moment that boys have it any easier than girls - the things they say to be hurtful are just different!

[maybebabythree]

Congratulations on the wedding lavender! I love a project! Always have to have a project on the go! That was dave for the last three years and now it's finding another house - once I get back to working!

Love the bed deaks. I love victorian and Edwardian things as I grew up in a old house.

How are Charlie and babymad today ?

Yes it's though being a female. I was picked on at school as I was a do gooder swot type. My friends were mostly bitches who took turns being my best mate then not talking to me as they swooped friends a lot. My best mate was nasty to me at school then told me out of school she didn't mean it. I have some great friends now but on the whole I prefer to work with men in male dominated environments. If a man has a problem with you he will tell you to your face. A woman will bitch behind your back. Also I find that now people expect to much of woman. Work, be a mum, keep the house! Also most woman in the generation above me can't see beyond looks and dress size. My step mil said one day she had been waiting years for me to loose weight! What materialistic bimbo clap trap! I think she would think more if me if I was a size 8 but beat the kids!

Maybe that's why I want a girl. For another woman to love me for me dispite my pitfalls. But I do have a fantastic sister and wonderful friends. Some woman and girls are lovely and some are cavity brained bitches. Like some men!

[pinga]

Hello all... just been catching up...

Babymad - big <hugs>... I agree with what maybe said before.... Don't worry if you don't bond 100% immediately. But if you make sure you ask for help if you feel depressed after!!! My mum got terrible PND after I was born and was really sick (hysterectemy) and just didn't want anything to do with me. I think she always felt guilty... but I can assure you - it didn't affect my relationship with her at all. I think she felt more guilty. We mothers like to beat ourselves up...
I hope that bubbas arrival makes everything feel better than it currently does... it is a very lonely place to be. DH is the only one I have talked to about it.... but being a man he has talked about it and now doesn't feel the need to keep talking. Sigh. We'll just have to pray for lovely DILs!

Mmm girls can be shocking. DH teaches 8/9 year olds and the girls are always having "friend-dramas" that get completely out of proportion - drives him nuts!!! The other scary thing is what girls can say - my sisters friends daughter ended up with an eating disorder after being told she had to lose weight if she wanted to join the netball team. Terrible isn't it??

Was really cross with my inlaws last night. DH was on phone to FIL and he said he wants to arrange a dinner for Sat night to discuss our decision to move back to the UK. He wants us to use them as a sounding board for the decision. I was furious after. Poor DH was quite upset - he just wants them to be supportive... it isn't an easy decision but to be honest they don't have any say in this decision. When I moved to Australia, my Dad said to me that I had to follow my heart as its my life and I need to do what is right for me... even though he must have been devastated inside. Argghghghghghhhhhhhhh - dreading this "Dinner interogation". I wonder when they will realise that these are MY (OUR - sorry DH) children!!!! Sorry needed to rant

[Inglewood]

Pinga, my MIL moved to Oz and we said the same as ur dad. She married her 1st love who moved to Oz when he was a teenager after yrs of being alone and although we weren't 100% happy, it was her decision. Hope ur Dh stands up to them and they realise it's ur choice!

Maybe, what a star u are, made my day yest!! according to the tax credit chart it turns out with 2 kids we get nil, with 3 we'll get £1500, so with 4??? Just have to wait for paperwork to come thru....so FX! Thanks!

Deaks, they'll look fab once done! We have extra large oak bunks for the boys and dreading getting them up the loft!! We didn't realise they were so big when we bought them, just thought all oak bunks were that expensive!! lol

As for the chat on wee girls, I wasn't popular nor unpopular, just in the middle at school (where I liked to be). I had friend both sides. I feel lucky the girls will have each other at school and I hope they, having to share alot in life aren't like one of those girls in my son's classes that I would dread to have as my daughter, but I never know how they will turn out. My boys are genuinely good kids, not spoilt and have good manners (always being told by other parents they are nice kids, which is so so nice). So Fx we get it right with the twins!

Off to asda..... lucky me! Have a good day ladies. xx

[maybebabythree]

Pinga - ds1 is super skinney. Way to thin IMO. He was in the bottom 0.9% but not sure he is now. He looks ill sometimes but even HE thinks he is fat!!! He says he has flabby thighs FGS! I can only imagine he gets that dfrom school! I really worry he is going to be anerexic! I hate it that my parents generation think its great for him to be TOO thin. He needs to be normal. Not to care about this weight at his age. I really would worry if I had a DD as I think there is more focus on girls to be thin and I worry about my son. I didn't know boys felt that kind of pressure