Am I really selfish?

[auroara78]

Lisvna,

I am so glad to hear you are feeling better! My DS1 was a breeze and I was rushing my DH to have a 2nd, almost hounding him about it! He was strong in his stance of waiting, but we had an opps anyway. Because the preg. was so similiar (both pretty easy, DS2 ws easy) I was in for a shock when DS2 came home. He had failure to thrive for a while, milk protein allergy, had the worst colic, acid reflux, cried all the time....all that made me kind of resentful of him for a while because DS1 had been so easy.

DS2 turned 1 last week and he's starting to really show off his personality. I can really enjoy him, and now that he's walking, my DS1 and him are bonding so well...it melts my heart, really.

If this is a boy, you will be amazed at the wonderful feeling of two little men bonding together. Brothers are priceless, and while I really wanted a girl with DS2 (was very sad after we found out he was a boy), I woudln't trade it now for anything.

We are now expecting a girl in September, and I can tell u it's more of a relief that we'll have a girl since I was getting worried it might never happen.

Try to enjoy this pregnancy to the best of yoru ablilty and remember that every baby truly is different, even the same gender (I have two sons who are totally different!), and I truly & deeply hope you have an amzing experience bonding with the new baby and that he or she is easy and gives you a break from the rough start your DS1 had!

[Myloves]

My boys are total opposites too! Ds1 is/was much harder than ds2 (who is really easy at 5).

[fun family]

yes, I agree that every baby is different. My last baby boy is my easiest for sure! They were all different!

Also, knowing your story, I think its a blessing you didn't get pregnant with multiples. Really. I have twins--its SO SO hard that first year. Can you imagine two (or THREE??) crying and screaming babies? Two or three babies that might have reflux at once? Two babies getting up numerous times a night? Babies that are born 2 months premature so that they are in the needy newborn stage much longer? Twins are at higher risk for every developmental problem, causing a lot of stress to the mom. Triplets are even riskier.

Post partum depression is much more common and more SEVERE in moms of multiples. I think you dodged a bullet by getting pregnant with a singleton. I hope this next baby, boy or girl, will be easier for you!!

[lisvna]

Well this morning around 8 o clock I lost some dark/red (not brown) blood.... I'm scared right now so maybe it's over.....I'm not happy if that is the case. I realize that gender doesn't matter (but maybe I'm too late now....)

[Waiting4Daisy]

I bled bright red with all my healthy babies, and they are a thriving almost 5 year old, 2 and a half year old and 7 month old, with each I thought I was miscarrying. Please get a scan so they can see what is happening. With my first two I had SCH and with my third it appeared to be a vanishing twin. There are lots of reasons for bright red bleeding that do not mean the pregnancy is ending. Call your doctor as soon as you can x

[lisvna]

I called the doctor this morning but she was so busy I couldn't come. Tomorrow I will have a scan (it was already scheduled) and she said it wouldn't change a thing if I will cone today or tomorrow morning....

[Waiting4Daisy]

GL with your scan, hope that tricksy bub is just being naughty and that everything is well :-)

[glory]

I have to disagree, I would put some of the blame on the Dr. He is the one with the expierience, he is the one that deals with this day in and day out. He is the one that should have had a level head when you and your dh were not able to have one.

On your first cycle, you were able to freeze a boy, for you to get the the stage where something could be frozen, you were not infertile, you did not have endometriosis, to freeze an embryo, they have to have gotten to a pretty good stage.

In your first cycle, you transferred 2 and had 1 to freeze... this is not the ability to not have children again. He should of said, lets put the 2 XX's in, the 2 XY's are HB's, they will freeze fine and if the XX's don't work, you have the option then to come back and put the others in, when you had a chance to sit and think of it all logically.

I don't mean to upset you, but I don't think you should be putting all the blame on you or your dh right now. There were other more experienced people here who should have spoken up. I have also seen you post a little about how it never goes your way, I also think this isn't a good place for you to be in. This isn't about it going your way, it was about a choice. When you put 50% of each sex back in, you made a choice, it was nothing about luck.

With the sex, you won't know till your scan, you still have a chance of it being a girl. You also have to remember when you posted this and everyone was very shocked, you said many, many times that you didn't regret your decision. Try go back to that stage, when having a baby was the end result.

With the reflux, this I can tell you. My almost 8 year old still suffers severe reflux, so much so that the big gap between my kids was big because we were never sure whether we could go through it again. DS3, did have reflux and still does at 2.5 BUT it was a lot easier to manage. He was medicated earlier, we knew what was going on and it was no where near as stressful as when it was then. I think this will be the case boy or girl, if the baby has reflux. A lot of drs dismiss how hard it can be, but when you have been through it before, you speak up earlier and things are easier.

Good luck xoxo