LolaInLove's Infertility Journey

[michaela]

I'm sorry Lola I also think you should go straight to IVF and that clinic is crazy to charge $2k for an IUI! I am sure it has gone up a little since I did one in 2009 (before I found out about my tubes) it was only $500!!! I can't believe they can get away with charging that much!

Anyway I would put my effort into IVF and if that doesn't work then think about donor sperm with IUI. I wouldn't even go the DS route until you have tried IVF on your own. Of course that is assuming you can afford to go that route and it is still in the plans to do so.



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[Plum3]

Lola, I'm going to put my two cents in as well. I would go for IVF for sure over IUI. You have a much better success rate.

I can't believe how expensive the health system is over there, it's absolutely crazy!

[LolaInLove]

Thanks ladies for the advice. I am way more inclined to skip the IUI as well. Gosh, at this point, I really think our best bet is to just start stashing away money for a trip to Prague next summer. It could be our honeymoon, really, since we never got to take one. (Then we could call it our honeymoon baby, LOL.) If we do decide to try an IUI, I think I would find a clinic that charges $500 like yours, Michaela. My folks live in Houston- I bet there is a clinic that is reasonable in the big city there.

I don't think R would warm up to the idea of donor sperm unless IVF did not work and a doctor said straight to his face "your sperm will not work, period." He is not against it, but I think, like you said M, he wants to exhaust the other options first.

Quite frankly, I've had the weirdest emotions the past few days- like I don't WANT his messed up sperm. I know that sounds terrible, and I think it is (hopefully) just a temporary reaction. Makes me scared that I will have another abnormal embryo and m/c, or an abnormal child. I guess there is no way to know what caused all of the m/c, but seems that it is a logical explanation to point at the 99% abnormal sperm. In fact, the lab marked in all caps "SEVERE ABNORMAL FORMS" on the report. I think that is what scarred me. I keep seeing "SEVERE ABNORMAL (child)" in my mind. I know that is horrible to say, but I do. I am afraid to get pg naturally, in a way, because of this. I wish we could just do IVF now, but there is that small part of me that says that when we are saving and not ttc so intensely, we could have a natural pregnancy, but I really am not in the mood now, or ever, for any more m/c.

So, I guess we move on to saving money now. I think we can swing $10K in a year without too much hurt.

And yep, Bec, USA is ridiculous with medical costs. US is horrible with the state of public education, too. Our leaders are pretty much rich guys who don't understand how the other 99% live.

[auroara78]

Oh Lola, I just got caught up on your posts, and I totally see how you'd feel.

A) How are you supposed to relax and just "forget" about TTC'ing??? Sometimes men make things sound so easy, when they dont know what its like in our shoes.

B) Totally understand how you feel / worry that his abnormal sperm would make an abnormal child or even more m/c and heartache.

C) I would def. go with IVF. IUI is too high and has a very low success rate.

D) I also agree that it's ridicilious how much we pay in health care and how little we get out of it. It wasn't fertilty treatments, but a few years I had an issue with my eye that was very rare and required being at a certain hospital and doctor but they weren't on my plan. Needless to say, it took years to pay off the few K required to essentially save my life, when the whole idea of no coverage/or very little coverage if the hospital does not participate with the insuracne is such bullshit!! Then, when we had Quinten 4 years, I just had to pay 400 co-pay but my insurcane got much expensive with second son (we pay like $450 a month for the family) and I had mad hospital bills coming in that I'm still paying for DS2, even though i pay more now per month than I did for DS1. It's crazy how broken the system really is.

Sorry for the rant....but I can feel and understand your frustration. I just hope it gets better.

[begonia]

Hugs Lola. I'm SO sorry the appt didn't bring better news, and even more sorry that you're struggling w/the "abnormal" label... that doesn't help anything I understand though as I'd likely be obsessing over it too.

I think the honeymoon baby is the way to go though, IVF over IUI for sure.

*sigh*

I wish life was easier sometimes.

[LolaInLove]

Hey girls, thanks for the support! I am starting to psyche myself up for the IVF. I'm about to open a new savings account for it, and the honeymoon. We only need to save $10K which isn't that bad. And hey, I'm going to assume we won't get pg in the meantime, which will hopefully lower my stress level and maybe we'll have one of those lucky months before we go and then I can buy myself a fun little used mommy convertible with the savings! LOL Kidding, it would be maternity leave money. Either way, it's a win-win.

Prague Fertility Clinic has daily embryo monitoring to watch for normal cell division as well as PICSI (think I talked about this earlier) so I feel better about our chances of weeding out the bad sperm and finding that gem in there (or 10 of them). Not super excited about the IVF meds, giving myself daily shots, etc, but that is a small price to pay.

Trying to keep positive about it. I can only control how I react to my life, not what happens, right?

[Hobbermittens]

I am excited for you, Lola! I think it will be a fun trip and an exciting experience, with the bonus of a baby (or babies!!). Have fun saving that money!

[Princess of Pink]

I am so happy that you guys have a plan!! Maybe while you save and focus on your IVF honeymoon you may just make a baby!!!

[LolaInLove]

Thanks, POP. I hope we actually do get to go do it!!! I am currently worried that my fertility has taken that turn south all of the sudden. I can't imagine everything is ok with having brown spotting all month, the random severe cramps (which have only been twice, but I needed a big time painkiller), and I really don't think I'm ovulating right now. I have zero sign of ovulation, not a hint of line at all on the opk test line at all. I'm CD14 today and usually ovulate now. I think I am just too stressed right now with random life stuff, and this IVF thing isn't helping. I am so worried that my eggs will run out before we get to Prague in a year that I think I've made my eggs run out.

[skrimpy]

(((hugs))) Lola! I think your eggs are still good in there So much can affect our fertility, and you can have normal cycles even after some are anovulatory. Are you doing any supps that are known to alter cycles? Vitex or anything?

You're in the middle of so much right now, it's possible your body isn't sure what's going on. Are you eating well? Getting enough fat? Those things can stop your cycles, too.

I hope you get your normal cycles back soon.