Due in March/April/May 2013 Roll call!

[Grace]

It's amazing how you all remind me of myself. We have a group of friends who get together from time to time and have joint dinner parties. I get upset when I hear they got together and didn't call us, but when we do join them I don't know what to do with my self...lucky I have my kids to run around, KWIM ? Anyway, after I got married I moved closer to the area where I grew up in, so I figured it would be fun to be closer to my old friends and we could see each other more. But everyone has moved on with their lives, we're all busy with our kids, spouses, jobs etc.. even my best childhood friend whom I used to talk to on the phone EVERY day while we were in university and now lives about half an hour from me, I don't get to meet her more than once every 2-3 months. So basically it's just me and my close family. I also read an article about how difficult it is to make new friends over the age of 30 so there! But you girls all sound very friendly to me, wish I could know you for real xxx

[mummypink]

Hi Suregena, I can totally relate to you! My dh and I are both from the UK originally and moved over to Norway about 5 years ago, he spoke Norwegian after spending time there on an exchange programme from University. 5 years on I am still trying to get to grips with the language and as much as I love so much about living here and couldn't really imagine moving back to the UK I still don't feel totally happy.
I'm very lucky in that we are only a 1hr 30 min flight away from the UK, and with Ryanair we can usually all fly back for about £200. Although we have to get a hire car as nobody has room for us in their cars anymore and depending on who we are visiting we sometimes need to book accommodation too so it still isn't cheap.

My Dad died when my ds2 was 6 weeks old, he had been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease the day DS1 was born and had a fast progressing kind. We knew that he could take a turn for the worst at any point so as soon as DS2 was born and had his birth certificate I applied to the British Embassy to get a passport sorted out. I then got a call from my brother to say my Dad had been taken into hospital and not to worry but the sooner I got the passport the better. The Embassy were great and got DS2s passport sorted and back to me within 2 days, I got flights booked and went straight from the airport to the hospital. My Dad had been in so much distress because of his breathing the hospital had made the decision to sedate him the evening before I arrived. We hoped and prayed that the antibiotics would finally take effect and fight off the infection he had but unfortunately he was too weak. He remained sedated (which was the kindest thing as he couldn't breath on his own and had been panicking about every breath) and died about a week later so I never got to say goodbye and he never got to see his grandson. I'm just grateful I was able to be there at the end though.
My dh dad had died just three months before that so it seemed like every visit back to the UK that year was a sad one.

I miss family and friends from the UK, although I went to a wedding last year for one of my closest friends in the UK and saw loads of my old friends. I was really looking forward to seeing them but found them really dismissive and different, they have moved on with their lives.

I've tried making friends here by going to baby groups but found that there would end up being a noticeable gap around me and people edged away from the 'forgeigner'! I'm determined to try and improve my Norwegian before this baby is born so I can hopefully meet more people and not feel so shy and stupid for not being able to communicate with people in the way I would in English.
I do have one really good friend here though, I have known her for a while but only recently got really close to her as we're setting a business up together. It is so nice to have someone to call up and chat to or pop round for a coffee.

I used to have a friend here from New Zealand who was one of those people you feel like you have known for years! She had a job waiting for her in NZ though and had to go back two years ago. I miss her loads and I think that actually made it worse for a while over here as before I hadn't realised what I was missing if that makes sense? I still talk to her on Skype though and she is hoping to come and visit in the new year.

I think it is really hard to be 100% happy where ever you are in the world, there are a lot of things I miss from the UK and if house prices were cheaper and there were less people there I would be back in a heartbeat. I really miss being able to have 'banter' with people, just everyday chit chat when you're at the check out. They don't seem to do that so much over here and I have to think so hard about what I'm going to say that the moment has often passed anyway!

My mum tries to come over 2 to 3 times a year, and unfortunately my mil does too lol! My brother has been out and my bil and his family, and my bf from the UK has been over once. I'm actually surprised at how few people have visited us actually as you would think they would make the most of free accommodation in such a beautiful country.

I think it takes a while to integrate properly abroad, I still feel like the foreigner which I absolutely hate. I'm hoping that when ds1 starts school next year that will really help me make friends with other mums and just be accepted a bit more. I know our work life balance is so much better over here and life for our children is much better too. I feel almost like I have been spoilt, I've been lucky enough to see the benefits of two countries and now I feel torn between the two. I will always be British, but Norway has far more opportunities for us at the moment. x

[suregena]

Mummypink - so some similar things going on with us then! My best friend is single without kids but thankfully I don't think that would affect us as it was fine when I was over the last time. She ate up any second she could get with my son. She is an only child so her and I have always been like sisters so maybe that helps keep us close. When we're away we don't talk a lot, but that goes with everyone in my family. The time differences and general life-stuff makes it hard. The best I manage is my dad maybe once every 4 or so months and my mom nearly every weekend on skype. We call her the 'skype grandma'!

My cousins and my aunt (who is also from Arizona) actually live in Oslo, you know! I have yet to have visited there. She married a Norwegian decades ago (now they're divorced.)
She's the only family member on my dad's side I'm close to because politically/religiously I just have a hard time connecting with my dad's family - we just don't see eye to eye at all. But she's lived in Norway for probably 30 years now so obviously even she's different from them, entirely. I need to go visit... we keep saying it but don't manage! Wonder how expensive it'd be? Obviously we'd have a free place to stay which makes it handy.

That's the frustrating thing as I feel very American. I adopt language variations and phrasing to make it easier for me at work and in general conversation. Sometimes those leak over when I'm talking to American family/friends so they think I'm becoming all Britishfied but I have to explain that I get myself stuck doing it just to get by over here! As soon as I'm back home it all melts away. My poor son has to hear "zee" and "zed" both all the time. :P

[mummypink]

You should def come over for a visit, there are loads of cheap flights and with free accomodation you should be totally fine!

It's funny when you say you have to adpot a language because I find myself having to use more American type words when I am speaking english to people so they understand. I suppose it is just down to how the learn english at school but if I say 'rubbish' they don't have a clue but 'trash' they understand! Words I didn't use so much in English I now have in my head in Norwegian so when I'm talking to family I have to really think about what I'm saying to ensure I don't mix the two! My boys are billingual and speak Norwegian at nursery and english at home, my 4 year old can even translate things for me which I feel really bad about as he shouldn't need to!

[suregena]

Well, my cousins are bilingual, obviously - but it's made it very handy for them later in life. My aunt is fluent in it, too.

I remember when I was little (and still in the States, of course!) when they would visit, I would always have a hard time believing I was related to them! Heh.

[suregena]

I've been feeling a bit like I'm on a rocky boat today. Not full-blown nausea but close. The dog's smell is making it worse! I'm actually going to make lunch a bit early to make it a little better.

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I'm 10 weeks tomorrow. Only 30 weeks of vomitting left...

[ynwa]

12 week scan in morning,soooo nervous,what questions can I ask the tech??

[Rosie85]

ugh ladies I am sooo behind on these posts! I didn't have time to read them all!

I live in America and my heath care is awesome... strictly for only one reason though, we are a low income family and have medicaid. I don't pay a dime for anything. Boy do people hate us and give us awful looks when they see my insurance card. In my opinion this is the same healthcare everyone should have...

We are a low income family because we have a special needs son and a ton of bills. Both my husband and I are educated with bachelor degrees but got dealt a bad hand of cards in life basically. We pay our taxes and my husband works hard and we get by just fine on very little. I really wish America would pull their heads out of their ass and just adopt the NHS style.

Glad to hear some of you are feeling better, sad to hear some are still struggling. My morning sickness is still there but much less. I mostly have issues with certain foods setting me off but otherwise I can still eat at any time. I have been feeling really weak lately and dizzy a lot, making it hard to get much done around the house.

[suregena]

I'm so glad you are able to use Medicaid! It's the one thing I have my fingers crossed for when we move back (possible in 3 to 5 years.) We're thinking about Portland or around there. No, I've never been to Oregon! Ha ha! But it's the climate/lifestyle we came to a mutual conclusion about because my husband refuses to move to Arizona and doesn't really want to go to Colorado (both those States are like my home states.)