If you have kids very close together in age...

[Tiffani3]

Great thread nc
A two friends of mine have had children very close together so to makes me wonder what if it helps sway?!?!?
Friend-1 has 5 children first two 1year nearly to the day two boys so she fell when ds1 was 3 months then after ds2 4 years later had ds3 1year later fell pg with dd1 when dd1 was 4 month old fell with dd2.

Friend-2 had ds then oops 4 1/2 months old fell pg with dd

So it slightly worries me that having one gender may result in the next being the same but I guess it's like you said, what was the mother was doing diet bf etc.
xx

[Mrs_P]

i have read somewhere to if you have a baby within 18 months of the other they are more likely to be of the same sex (maybe its a hormone thing your already set up to have one of that gender) and if you catch again within first 6 months and bf its more likely to be a girl, 6 -12 months ish more likely to be a boy - no idea if there is any truth on her but i do know a couple of moms with boys conceived after the 6 month mark but that could just be coincidence, only one that caught when her ds was 2 months old, she lost the baby but it was a girl. Maybe its a fertility thing - 6 months after birth fertility would be really low where as 6 months + it would be recovering and babies are starting weaning so less demanding on your body?

I have two different age gaps - ds1 to ds2 3.5 years, ds2 to ds3 2 years 3 months, the first was easier to deal with and ds1 reacted better to a sibling, ds2 was really jealous and felt left out as he was still really little BUT ds3 has loved having his big brother around and they get on so well, all three of them do really and the bond is strong between them all, ds1 was the only one who really struggled as he was the first he had no-one around for years (we'd go out for the day and find him latching on to the family front very slowly so we wouldn't notice; he loved other kids). The other benefit to a short gap is that you won't have a massive gap between ds1 and baby 4 which worries me at the moment, there will be 8.5 years between ds1 and this baby.

[cvd]

Hi! DS and this baby will be almost EXACTLY 23 months apart. DS was born June 21, since I am having a planned csection my doctor thinks the May 21 is around when I will have to go in. We planned it this way, I know 23 months isn't super close together, but we wanted them 2 years apart mainly so they can *hopefully* grow up as friends and do lots of things together! I know it is going to be tough in the beginning, as I doubt DS will be potty trained and he doesn't have many words yet so I am really hoping he gets A LOT more before the baby! I can't read 2 minds lol. We are excited! I am excited because this baby will be my last, and I will be happy to get my body back (I literally just got back to my pre pregnancy weight before conceiving this little one lol after a lot of hard work!). And we are young, so hopefully they will be into their own places by the time we are 42&46 hehe!!! That's the way we look at things

[jark22]

Well I certainly won't be the one to burst your bubble, cvd .

In all honesty I think it has to do with the parents' personality and each kids' personality. My second was the worst baby in the entire world. Seriously- strangers would even tell me they felt bad. Pairing that with a very active almost 2 year old was not good. But he grew into a good toddler and preschooler. Which is why I can't say it got good till the last year or so. I hope they will be good friends when they are older. Right now it could go either way LOL!

Having 2 in diapers isn't so bad. Just don't push your older son to potty train before he's ready- it may backfire on you.

[Tiggerian]

Our boys are 25 months apart and that was fully planned. We didn't go back on contraceptives after we had DS1.

Looking back I wouldnt do so close again. Our DS2 had acid reflux and colic. We barely slept for 6 months and it was very hard for DS1 to see DS2 receive so much attention. NExt time there will be min. 3 yrs between DS2 and baby!

[mummypink]

My two boys are 17 months apart and it was totally planned, my dh and his brother have only 13 months between them and have always been close so he wanted the same for his children.

For me I would say the pregnancy with ds2 was a lot harder because I had to pick up ds1 so much still and had him at home full time throughout my pregnancy. I was really bad with morning sickness which I'm sure was because I was so shattered being up in the night with ds1 and chasing around after him during the day. When ds2 was born though in some ways I found it pretty easy, I was still in baby routine and he seemed to slot straight in. It was hard having two in nappies though and toilet training ds1 with a small baby around.
It feels in some ways though that we have got through the baby stage quicker with ds2 as he fits in with ds1 much more, so for us it was definitely a good way to go as we had always planned to have 3. Originally we were going to ttc baby 3 when ds2 was around 2 years old but I just wasn't ready to face another baby yet! I'm really glad I waited as I think having 3 with a small age gap would have been too much for me - but that is a personal choice as we have no family around for support.

This time DS1 will be 5 yrs 3 months old and DS2 will be 3yrs 10 months old when the baby arrives, they are both toilet trained, both able to entertain each other and are really good friends. They can get themselves juice or fruit from the fridge and help me out by fetching things or letting the dog out/ in. I am really glad I made the decision to wait as I think life will be so much easier for all of us, although I do worry that if this is another boy he will feel left out because of the close age gap between ds1 and ds2.

I don't think there is ever an ideal situation, it depends on the children and the family circumstances so you just have to do what is right for you.

I am a bit wary about the small age gap thing swaying as everyone I know that has had a close age gap (6 different women) have had the same gender as before whether that was a girl or a boy. xx