Cried at the mall today

[Jadis]

There I was, eating my lunch at the food court, minding my own business when I saw a woman in her 30's holding hands with her 3 year-old daughter. The woman's mom was there too and it just hit me...my ache for a daughter isn't only for me. I want my mom to have a granddaughter. I watched them together laughing and eating from the same plate and I thought "that's so special. That's 3 generations of women at that table. They probably take it for granted, they don't even know how lucky they are. They probably have no idea that the woman a few tables over is about to cry with envy." I finished lunch and then shed a few tears in the car on the way home. I just want what that woman seemed to get so easily. Then again, maybe some woman has watched me high-five my boys and she's wanted to weep with envy. Maybe I should be more thankful for what came into my life so easily. Just had to get that off my chest, thanks ladies.

[dreamingpink77]

Sorry you were upset Jadis and I understand your feelings. I'm also jeleous when I see cute little girls with their mummies, I also wish I'll have mine one day. At the same time I feel guilty for feeling like this, telling myself I should be grateful for having such a wonderful son. I feel very guilty too when I see children with disabilities and I say to myself, why can't I just be thankful I have a healthy son? We are so lucky to have our children, yet we want more. And these pregnancy hormones don't help at all, personally I'm finding myself very emotional over anything. I get angry more easily and I get weepy easily too. At least I know that I'm not alone feeling like this, before finding this site I thought I was a selfish woman who just wanted more than she had, now at least I know I'm very normal and I've come to believe that every woman has had or will have some gender desire at some point in her life. I hope we'll both have our healthy little girls in June and if we'll have boys, at least I always pray that I'll be strong enough to be able to accept it.

[sbmommy]

That has been me sitting at the table, with my mother and my little almost 2 year old girl, and I just wanted you to know that I cry with envy almost every day, I am so envious of you with your boys. All I've ever wanted was a son, and although I love my little girl to pieces, there are still times I look at her and wish she was a boy. She is not a girly-girl, she hates dresses and hair bows and would rather play with trucks or balls than dolls.

As it is, I can't look at little boys when I am out in public without choking up and tears coming to my eyes. I am currently pregnant with another girl, so I'm sure the hormones don't help, but I thought you should know that yes, we are out there - mothers of little girls who desperately wish they could have just one little boy like yours, and who are looking back at you with just as much envy. I send you all of my super sticky pink baby dust, and I hope you are carrying your little girl! At least you still have a chance for your dream to come true!

[wildwooddays]

aww. Well I can't totally relate because my mother already has a granddaughter from my brother but I understand the longing. I don't get jealous when people just have a girl because I always wanted boys too. But it makes me crazy when I see people with two boys and a baby girl (even though I don't know this baby's gender I think it's a boy) and it really makes me angry. It's hard for me to even look at them sometimes.

[My Three Sons]

I feel the same way at times. Then I try to remind myself that someone without any children at all may be seeing me with my three boys and cry with envy. I am trying to be grateful for the three healthy, wonderful boys that I have, but it is hard when I see so many people with both genders so easily.

[Jadis]

That has been me sitting at the table, with my mother and my little almost 2 year old girl, and I just wanted you to know that I cry with envy almost every day, I am so envious of you with your boys. All I've ever wanted was a son, and although I love my little girl to pieces, there are still times I look at her and wish she was a boy. She is not a girly-girl, she hates dresses and hair bows and would rather play with trucks or balls than dolls.

As it is, I can't look at little boys when I am out in public without choking up and tears coming to my eyes. I am currently pregnant with another girl, so I'm sure the hormones don't help, but I thought you should know that yes, we are out there - mothers of little girls who desperately wish they could have just one little boy like yours, and who are looking back at you with just as much envy. I send you all of my super sticky pink baby dust, and I hope you are carrying your little girl! At least you still have a chance for your dream to come true!

Thank you so much for such an honest and heartfelt response. It really does help to know that I'm not the only person who feels these things.

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

Thank you for posting this. I needed to read it.

[Jadis]

Thank you, ladies. I don't know the gender of the baby I'm carrying, but I feel convinced it's a boy. I know I'll love him, no doubt. But letting go of the dream of a daughter will be tough.

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I know it's not the same, but I found out yesterday that I'm having my 4th boy. I have one dd and I have to let go of the dream of giving her a sister. I hope you hear girl, if not, I hope you find peace quickly.

[Jadis]

Thank you, 3men! I hope so too. Congratulations on another sweet baby boy!