4th kid...ANOTHER GIRL :(

[PATR0062]

I didn't know where else to turn to, and thought maybe here was a good jumping off point.

I am so depressed.
We just found out at our 20wk US that we are indeed having another girl...for a grand total of 4 girls

I knew that getting pregnant has always meant that there was a chance it would be a girl but when I actually found out I burst into tears right there on the spot. In fact I don't think I've stopped crying for over a week.

I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a million lost opportunities. And now most people around me think telling me that this new child (an individual in her own right) will be full of opportunities, but I don't think they understand, in fact I know they don't. I've missed out on the reaction my husband would have to hearing he finally would be having a boy in the house. I've missed out on my own excitement for the same reaction. I also feel like everyone around me, family included, is thinking "oh well, good for them, they know what to expect", when really I just wanted them to be over the moon excited for us... and now I will get no exciting messages or extra support. As soon as family knows its a girl they will simply back off and let us do what we know how to do best...raise girls. I'm sure I'll be able to cope but I'm not sure I won't be able to stop my self from crying every time I hear someone is having a boy
I'm extremely worried that this feeling will NEVER go away.

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm so sorry.

[atomic sagebrush]

I totally understand every word you say. I think that's one of the hardest parts about GD is that it's like you're robbed of that excitement. I hope things ease up for you and you can enjoy - I think all-girl families are like little bouquets of flowers

[BZ94]

I too understand what you mean about being robbed of excitement--even though with both my DS's and now my upcoming third I've eventually come around to the idea of having a boy, another boy, and still another boy, I feel robbed of getting to walk out of the ultrasound room absolutely ecstatic about what I've just been told. Not to mention all the future experiences my husband and I will never have (father-daughter dances, mother-daughter lunches, etc). Not sure that this helps but I do understand!!!!

[Gimmeapinkone]

Im so sorry I was the same when we found out #3 was another boy. Don't beat yourself up, just give yourself time to grieve over the son you aren't having. Just remember it doesn't mean you love your new daughter any less!

[canuckinaustralia]

So sorry you are struggling. I felt just the same when I found out I'm pregnant with boy #3. Some days I still feel in shock about it and can't even think about it too much or I break down

[Yuzu]

I felt that way when I heard I was expecting boy #4. I thought, "Four? I just can't catch a break!" It seemed so unfair that I couldn't experience what it would be like to buy pink, and have mom-daughter outings. I'm surrounded by bats and blocks and balls. I did get over it when my son was born; he is so awesome! But I was in a dark place for awhile. You're not alone.

[luvalittleman]

I didn't know where else to turn to, and thought maybe here was a good jumping off point.

I am so depressed.
We just found out at our 20wk US that we are indeed having another girl...for a grand total of 4 girls

I knew that getting pregnant has always meant that there was a chance it would be a girl but when I actually found out I burst into tears right there on the spot. In fact I don't think I've stopped crying for over a week.

I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a million lost opportunities. And now most people around me think telling me that this new child (an individual in her own right) will be full of opportunities, but I don't think they understand, in fact I know they don't. I've missed out on the reaction my husband would have to hearing he finally would be having a boy in the house. I've missed out on my own excitement for the same reaction. I also feel like everyone around me, family included, is thinking "oh well, good for them, they know what to expect", when really I just wanted them to be over the moon excited for us... and now I will get no exciting messages or extra support. As soon as family knows its a girl they will simply back off and let us do what we know how to do best...raise girls. I'm sure I'll be able to cope but I'm not sure I won't be able to stop my self from crying every time I hear someone is having a boy
I'm extremely worried that this feeling will NEVER go away.

Hey there, I'm so sorry you are still feeling sad about receiving the news you're having another girl. I found out yesterday via CVS that I too am having another girl, although it was suggested at my scan on Monday it was a girl so I have been in tears on and off for two days.
That means I will also be having my 4th daughter like you. I know exactly how you are feeling with regards to the gender disappointment and I wanted to say it's perfectly natural and OK to be feeling how you are. I think most people with 4 of a kind feel robbed of the joy of producing a certain gender - I know I do.
If I can offer a little advice to help you deal with this a little easier it would be to concentrate right now on not worrying about other peoples perceived opinions and expectations. There's a great saying " In your 20's you worry what everyone else thinks, in your 40's you stop worrying what other people think, in your 60's you realise they weren't thinking about you much at all". Try and remember that it's you having this child and what other people may think about this is completely irrelevant. For me, I am focusing on the parts I know I love that make me feel happy. This sounds crazy I know and I will probably discredit myself here but...I love giving birth. I know there's lots of pain but I love that rush of excitement when you've worked so hard bloody pushing and sweating and all the pain is over and they place this beautiful , tiny little baby on your chest. I love the tiny little newborn clothes, and finding out if their eyes will be blue like mine or green like DH's. There is much to feel excited about and your GD will ease in time.
You may have to actively try to focus on the parts of having a baby you love and there will be days you can't and feel down, but I promise you if you keep trying, keep focusing on what she may look like, how big will she be, what colour her hair and eyes will be, how it will feel to finally meet her and hold her, it will become easier to feel excited to meet her.
I hope your GD eases up on you soon and I wish you all the very best for the remainder of your pregnancy.

[prayforaboy]

Luvalittleman - I love your attitude... we might find out gender of he baby in 4 weeks and I am convinced that it is a girl. I am assuming that i will go through some major GD... because this is our last.... but i loved your reply here. PATR and Luvalittleman I am sorry that you did not hear boy.... I will be in the same boat if i hear girl.

[Shenanigans]

I'm so so sorry. I felt the same way after hearing that DS3 is a boy. I cried for days. I felt like I was letting everyone in my family down (out of 9 grandchildren so far 8 are boys) letting my husband down, my older boys who want a baby sister, etc, etc. Not to mention all the sarcastic remarks from people. I just wanted to say sorry and I understand and it does get better little by little.