What does it feel like to have your dream come true?

[sbowman]

Anyone that got their dream gender. Is life better now? Is that strange empty place in your heart full? Sometimes I wonder, is it really that I had gender disappointment, or was it depression caused from other things that just amplified the gd. Probably a weird question but I just want to know if getting your longed for son or daughter really makes you feel complete. Maybe give myself some motivation to keep this diet up.


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[RKT Mama]

After 5 years of GD and 3 sons I have just got my daughter. She is still a newborn so not "girly" yet and still a lot of work. Biggest thing for me is that feeling that I can move on now from that feeling I would never get a girl and resenting those that had them. I can buy pink and dolls and all the things I couldn't before. I can dream of a life with my daughter and my sons.
Does it complete me? No, only I can choose to be happy or not.

I have realised that a lot of what I was blaming on GD was probably a bit of depression and discontent with my life.

[hotdogz&boyz]

I got my DG. And yeah...I found that thus far, it doesn't much matter. She is still really little, so I might feel different down the road. Especially since all my reasons for wanting one were more long-term reasons. It shut up the stupid "all boy" comments, but added a new realm of "finally getting a girl" (not like I had 20 boys!) comments. I agree that I can stop wondering what it would be like and I have stopped feeling envious of those who get my DG. But overall, I think she could be a boy and I would feel the same way as I do now. Slightly insane...wondering whose plan it was to have three under three. Lol.

I do think it has more to do with your choice to be happy with what life you have. GD is a pretty easy scapegoat. I still have holey places in me, for various reasons not related to children. So it's not like my life otherwise changed by having a daughter. But I adore her. I admit I was concerned if it would be "weird" having a girl. My boys were/are such mamas boys, I guess I thought she might be different or something. But it's not.

When I think of all the people who have GD and don't get what they want ...and how they move beyond it...I think most do just fine. I think moving past it is very possible. And I believed that even before I got what I wanted. I'll never know now, but I know others who have gotten past it without getting their DG.

[mommymachine]

My DD is 18 months. She plays in the toilet and my boys never did. She climbs on the table and throws off anything that's on it. She spills the cereal out of boxes and removes her diaper and pees on the floor. She plays with batman and Lego and giggles when she toots. Once in a while though, her femininity shows up. DH wouldn't let her play in his soup and after trying very hard to do so and him blocking her, she stopped, looked at him and kissed him...then tried to play in his soup again. She LOVES dresses and tryin on clothes and changing clothes. She is extremely emotional.

I didn't want a daughter for the girlyness. Like a PP stated, I wanted a daughter for the long term relationship. For the long term "benefits". And yes, it did complete that part of my heart. I still have struggles in my life. I still have heartaches and problems. I beg God for the graces I need for this life. However, pink and purple confetti is still circling around my heart, and I still can't believe she is here. She made me appreciate my boys SOOO much more. She was the piece of our family puzzle we needed. And my anxiety about my family make up is gone.

However, one thing I'm noticing lately, is I've stopped thinking, I've got my girl, I have a daughter, she's finally here....and have now just accepted it. Girl/daughter/desires gender have now just become "Claire". She's a part of my family, and it feels like she always has been. Just like the boys.

[Adia]

Thanks ladies who replied. Keepin' it real!!! Congrats on your girls!!

[zibibbogirl]

My baby is very new but I really feel a sense of completeness now. It is difficult to explain, but it is like that part of my life is finally the way I imagined it would be, all the pieces have fallen into place and everything fits.

It is not a dramatic change that happens in the instant they arrive, but more like the gradual realisation of a dream that changes over time. I suppose pregnancy prepares you for the arrival of the baby in that way and as the baby grows it seems less surreal.

I have never considered myself to be a big GD sufferer, all I wanted was at least one of each, so maybe others have been impacted by the change a lot more than me but that has been my experience.

As another PP said, the annoying comments do not go away, they just change. Instead of getting "oh, all boys!" I now get "oh, you got your girl!". The best thing is that you no longer live with a big unanswered question in your head.

[sbowman]

Thank you all for sharing! I love reading your stories.


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[PlanB]

Hi
I hope you find peace too
Initially for me it was thrilling and exciting to get my dg.
Then reality set in and it was just getting through the day with 1extra.
I did and still do find it hard to be happy for people who have a pigeon pair. But the pain has died away for the most part now.
I'm not quite as bitter as I was.
This is good. Bitterness isn't pretty but it's hard to fight sometimes.
It's good. I love all my kids desperately. I certainly don't despise and regret my second daughter like I thought I might have once. I adore her intensely as I do my other kids.
The high tech route was a god send for us. I'm very fortunate. I know that now.
Good luck.

[Cinss]

When the US tech said "its a boy" both me and DP choked up and tears of joy rose in our eyes. You couldn't wipe the smile off our faces for the following days. We felt like we had won the lottery.

If we had heard "girl" i think we would have just put on our fake smiles and tried to convince each other that it would be ok. And the feeling of loss and something missing would still be there.

Now that our little guy is here we are complete, he is 100 times everything i had hoped he would be. We feel blessed everyday and we are always saying "My SON this, my SON that" just because we still can't believe we have HIM

I wish that everyone can have this experience.

[seven gorgeous babies]

My girls are 14 months old this week and its only now I'm learning to relax!

On one hand the bitterness, the constant checking in pushchairs or car seats, the worry about friends announcing pregnancy has gone!

But on the other hand I spent 10 years with gd and kept having swaying opposites that it consumed my life and it was hard to let go!

Instead of worrying about gd I worried about the babies constantly - I worried something was wrong with them and constantly checked every part of them.

I still find it hard to accept that my dreams came true xxx