Women view swaying negatively?

[TTCaPRINCE]

true BeadinMom...
the unhealthy lady who conceives a girl, has the baby, then realises she better start looking after herself more and preparing healthy meals for herself and her family then find she conceives a boy next!

the healthy lady who exercised lots to look good and conceives a boy, then realises she is stressed and doesn't have time to cook healthy meals or exercise like she used, perhaps starts having a glass of wine after bedtime to relax, to then conceives a girl.

the new relationship who were all fired up on hormones and DTDing lots and enjoying themselves conceive a boy.. later, afterwards, things have settled and they are doing it less often just to keep the relationship going, have girl

the newlyweds who were desperate for the first baby, took every supplement they could think of that can boost fertility and paying close attention to their cycles.. have a boy. Whoops - was that an accident when the new baby was 3 month old? Surprise - it's a girl!

the busy parents who now have a school run to do and lots of kids to get out of the house by 8am start skipping breakfast, keep catching all the colds their kids bring home from school ... you get the idea!



point being, lots of people DO sway without realising it just because lifestyles and situations change.
Generally I don't mention it to my friends or anyone in real life, although I would if one of them told me they had a strong preference too. I still tell everyone that I'm absolutely fine with another boy (which is more true now than it used to be, my boys make me happy so I'm sure another one would too)

Exactly!!! I know for a fact some of my girlfriends that their lifestyles definitly influenced gender based on information from this website. But because they don't believe in it I don't even bother. I have this one friend who at one point said "Wow that does make a lot of sense. I think that actually has some real evidence behind it." (She has one of each) Then the next time I see her she has like flipped a switch and thinks it is crazy. So I just stopped talking to anyone about it.

[TTCaPRINCE]

I mentioned it to my friends when i was drunk before we were trying - they thought it was funny, but when i explained the science behind it and that i wouldnt do it if i thought it was a fantasy they were quite supportive. One is pregnant with her second and we talk a lot about her wanting a girl etc. i think its important to let people in rl know its okay to feel like that with at least one person!
I dont mention it to people because its none of their business, just like us actively trying for #3 is none of their business, so i dont get a reaction off people. But i have to admit before i found this site, id have prob thought the same as others, that it was silly and would never work. Like you say, God led us here for a reason, it might be to help us get a boy, it might be to show us we cant always grt what wevwant, only time will tell!!

Xxx

I stopped talking to people about it because of the negative reactions. I have always been a very open person and never minded sharing things about my life until now. Now I feel like if I talk about this people look at me like I have 6 heads. I wish I never did because I have made it clear that I WANT a son and that I really do not want another DD. While I love DD with all of my heart and wouldn't go back in time and make her a boy if I could I never wanted a daughter. I have always wanted 3 sons. I am very open with the fact that having another DD terrifies me. I am sure I get judged for that as well!

[TTCaPRINCE]

The only person who knows I'm swaying is my DH! And for many of the reasons mentioned above that's the way it's staying. I just don't want the negativity from mean spirited people who have both gender children.


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If I could go back I never would have mentioned it to anyone in person. Trust me. If I have a failed sway I don't even want to know the crap they will be thinking.

[TTCaPRINCE]

Swaying is very taboo, there are few places you can openly talk about it, which is why I appreciate this forum so much. I have not told 1 person IRL about my swaying (except obviously DH) and I have not told anyone about how much I wanted/still want a girl VS a boy for fear of judgement. People do seem appalled by the idea that you wouldn't just be grateful for a healthy baby no matter the gender....that's what we're expected to feel

Yes! I feel like people think I am some sort of jerk for wanting a specific gender. Of course I want a healthy baby over all but I desperately want a son. I don't understand why that is so hard for most people to grasp. It doesn't make me a bad person. I have always felt in my heart that if I don't ever have a son I will always feel like something is missing. And I don't want to have that feeling and always wonder if there was something that I could have maybe tried to make that happen.

[Ribenaberry]

Its a very hard thing to talk about - you are not meant to have feelings when it comes to children! its like miscarriages, youre not supposed to talk about those either, but i dont care, if anyone asks about pregnancies etc ill tell them.

Dont feel bad for the way other people see it, every small girl thinks about what kids they want to have, and name them! Its only natural to feel panicky that this might be takn away from you. The thing is people dont want to admit it and they dont want you to admit it because then they might have to as well and they dont want to admit it to themselves!

You will love your kids because they are yours. Having an opposite will not turn you into an evil monster who hates your children, it will just leave you with a sense of longing - which is hard but with help it can be "dealt with" (i cant think of another way to say that, please dont anyone take offense, i dont mean its easy, but rather that it wont affect your love for your kids - i hope that makes sense!)

Xxx

[Dreamofpink]

If I could go back I never would have mentioned it to anyone in person. Trust me. If I have a failed sway I don't even want to know the crap they will be thinking.

I second this completely!! I have managed a failed sway (hate that term!!) and have tried to stay away from people who knew as much as possible. A few people just said 'oh' when I said we were expecting another boy then changed the subject. My family's wonderful about it though. I want to celebrate my little boy-to-be but my so-called friends aren't interested. Urgh! Still I know who my real friends are now. Next time I will be keeping it to myself entirely.

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[Ribenaberry]

I second this completely!! I have managed a failed sway (hate that term!!) and have tried to stay away from people who knew as much as possible. A few people just said 'oh' when I said we were expecting another boy then changed the subject. My family's wonderful about it though. I want to celebrate my little boy-to-be but my so-called friends aren't interested. Urgh! Still I know who my real friends are now. Next time I will be keeping it to myself entirely.

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My friend said this and until she said it i hadnt thought about it, that if she has a girl this time everyone will make a fuss, but if she has another boy everyone will be happy but a bit 'meh'. Shes right, but it shouldnt be like that, everyone should make a fuss of every baby no matter the sex. It made me a bit sad to think aboutb

Xxx

[gurly]

Also, sometimes it's just that people aren't open minded or they may have certain beliefs that hinder them from accepting alternative methods for anything in life. Sometimes it is that they have both sexes so they don't feel the need to think about wanting the opposite sex child. Sometimes they may feel that only God, or whomever/whatever they believe in, has the say in what is given to them and they dare not mess with that. No matter what your opinion is about anything, there will be always one person who is totally against it, that's life.

With that being said, dh and I are the only ones that know that I am swaying for a boy. No one else knows that we are currently ttc either, just that it "maybe" a plan for the future if anyone asks or it comes up in conversation. I just don't want to hear any remarks either from those who may not understand me or what I want out of life.

THIS -- exactly.

[Kittybear]

No one IRL knows I am swaying pink (except DH) - Bar a few people noticing my weight lose. It actually makes me feel very sad and lonely not to be able to discuss it with my mum or close friends (hence why I'm so thankful for finding this website and another forum of like minded ladies) HOWEVER my reason for not discussing it is mostly because I am a very private person and the thought of people asking if I'm pregnant yet (i have no idea how long it will take this time and hate the idea of prople scrutinising me and second guessing me) and then asking what we're having immediately after the scan etc. (another reason why I want a private gender scan when the time comes to get my head round it either way). The thing I worry about most is that if my sway fails anyone who knows about it may doubt if I love my new baby boy, and I know I will.
Thank you ladies for making me feel slightly less crackers and good luck to all swayers!! x x x

[Modern Goddess]

I agree that swaying is very taboo, especially among women who are having issues TTC. They think it is a waste that people only BD certain days and can get pregnant then are disappointed they are not carrying the gender that they want, when they cannot get pregnant no matter what they try.