Due in December/January/February 2013/14

[BeadinMom]

Thanks Daisy's mom!!

[Waiting4Daisy]

Annoys me when people go on about third child etc because each of my children is a little person and individual, not just a third child and they all have their own identities and I love them so much. I've always wanted a big family. The best thing you can give a kid is a sibling

[Waiting4Daisy]

😌 I hope daisy is coming soon - we have been waiting for a long time already

[myrainbowgirl]

Beadin - Adorable idea!!

Waiting4Daisy - When is your anatomy scan?

As far as the 3 kid thing, most people I grew up with had 3. Most had no issues! I was the middle of 3, and I think even my parents would say I turned out ok! My 3 are each individuals, and each one brings so much joy in their own way. My littlest is really too little at this point to have any issues, but obviously, he will be getting a little brother, so he won't be the baby anymore. It will be fun for each of my boys to have a buddy. I HAVE heard that you should have kids in pairs, since someone's "always left out." I disagree with that, though, my boys love, love, love their baby brother, and the dynamic of 3 has been just fine here! Does kinda make me question bringing a girl into a family of 4 brothers, but then again, I have absolutely no doubt that they would adore her if we did it. We'll see! But yes, people's comments are ridiculous! I soooo wanna tell them to just shove it!

[Soar]

My thinking on 3 and the middle child is if you know "middle child" behavior you can make sure they don't get lumped into that hole. My DS2 would definitely play by himself in a corner if we let him. I noticed it at about 9 months. DS1
Would have all of my attention and then I would look over and see DS2 playing quietly. So I sat down and talked to DH about how I was worried we are letting DS1 have all the attention. We both agreed to work on it and now at 20 months I think DS2 has more of a first child quality. Thankfully he is much more chill than DS1 but he has definitely taken his place in the fam and is right in the mix! I think he will be great as the second born! He isn't taking that middle child label bc we won't let him. Now when 3 gets here....get back to me I may have created a monster!!! But really it's up to you and DH. Don't let those mean comments get to you! Show them your 2nd born is nobodies middle child!!! I like that book Birth Order. Some of the descriptions are spot on and was good to be able to see what to look for so to speak. I wish I could remember the author. But a really great and quick read. It actually taught me a lot about myself. I am the first born!

Rainbow-my parents want us to have 4 children! They agree then that everybody has a buddy. DH is also up for it! I like the idea of 4 but that means I have to get pregnant again. Oh man...I am not a graceful pregnant person! I wish I loved it but I just really feel rotten the whole time. We will see how I feel once 3.0 gets here! Although the thought of 4 sounds really fun especially when they are older!

You know that saying you know when you are done. Do you guys feel like this pregnancy is your last because you know you are done?

[meeks32]

Are any of you ladies worried about 3rd child syndrome? I've had a few people make the comment around me "I'd never want just 3, third child syndrome. It's either 2 or 4" Before all these comments it never even crossed my mind. I was the baby of 3 kids and definitely felt like I was the least liked, bad child etc. etc. Even to this day I feel like my mom "protects" my older sister more because she's more sensitive than I am - and she was the middle child. Now I'm all worried we made a stupid mistake having more than 2 kids and wondering if this is a real concern. My DS2 is an angel and the cutest most sweetest child ever. I can't fathom ignoring him and not giving him attention.

Plus, what's with the idea that somehow 4 is better in that regard then 3. I get there is no "middle" kid, but naturally the more children you have the less attention you have for all of them individually. Doesn't that rule pretty much apply once you've passed 2 that your kids could somehow feel left out or what not?

Sorry for the random rant, it just totally gets me the wrong way when people make stupid comments like that to your face when you just said "we are so done at 3!" I was interested to hear your ladies thoughts as I know some already have 3 and going onto #4 so I'd be interested to hear what you think. And I know a lot of us are on #3

I SO used to think this too. I really brought into the idea of 2 or 4, and wholeheartedly believed it. Then I realised the more kids you have the less attention each would get, so this is just a misconception. ALSO If you are the type of parent that takes time to value each child individually and tell them their (different and unique) strengths often, I dont think anyone will feel left out (not legitimately anyway).

Also, I am trying to make piece with the fact that no matter how hard I try to be a great mum, I am bound to scar my kids in some way. I mean most people have a grudge over something from their childhood don't they? Even if its small. Hoping I can minimise that, but I guess its inevitable.

I also think it depends on the personality of each child and how well they play with the next one down, and the age gaps, as to who feels left out. My dh was the youngest of 3 and sometimes felt left out (but still wanted 3 kids, so not too badly) but he was 8 years younger than his middle brother and 10 years from the oldest one, so they had an obvious age gap advantage, no matter how good the parenting was.

[black&gold]

My thinking on 3 and the middle child is if you know "middle child" behavior you can make sure they don't get lumped into that hole. My DS2 would definitely play by himself in a corner if we let him. I noticed it at about 9 months. DS1
Would have all of my attention and then I would look over and see DS2 playing quietly. So I sat down and talked to DH about how I was worried we are letting DS1 have all the attention. We both agreed to work on it and now at 20 months I think DS2 has more of a first child quality. Thankfully he is much more chill than DS1 but he has definitely taken his place in the fam and is right in the mix! I think he will be great as the second born! He isn't taking that middle child label bc we won't let him. Now when 3 gets here....get back to me I may have created a monster!!! But really it's up to you and DH. Don't let those mean comments get to you! Show them your 2nd born is nobodies middle child!!! I like that book Birth Order. Some of the descriptions are spot on and was good to be able to see what to look for so to speak. I wish I could remember the author. But a really great and quick read. It actually taught me a lot about myself. I am the first born!

Rainbow-my parents want us to have 4 children! They agree then that everybody has a buddy. DH is also up for it! I like the idea of 4 but that means I have to get pregnant again. Oh man...I am not a graceful pregnant person! I wish I loved it but I just really feel rotten the whole time. We will see how I feel once 3.0 gets here! Although the thought of 4 sounds really fun especially when they are older!

You know that saying you know when you are done. Do you guys feel like this pregnancy is your last because you know you are done?

That's great advice! Our DS1 is also a huge attention stealer - but not on purpose. He is probably the least independent child I've ever seen. He just wants to be with someone talking 24/7 so he LOVES having DS2 around. DS2 is way more chill and definitely more independent, but I've recently noticed he always tries to get attention. I think regardless you just have to watch and make sure you are giving equal time to all children and neutering their unique personalities and needs.

I am definitely done! With two I just felt so unsettled. I wasn't 100% sold on 3 for a few reasons, but 2 just felt way to small for us and I couldn't picture us ending on 2. When I couldn't get pregnant with #3 I was constantly crying to DH about how I couldn't deal if we just had 2 and how I'd always feel like we weren't complete. Now that I'm pregnant I go through times where I'm super regretting 3 and worried about my other kids and why I did this. I am having a bad pregnancy when it comes to depression/anxiety though which I've never had before and it's kicking my butt. Some weeks I'm so excited about meeting #3, and then I have days like today where I'm practically crying all day! All this to say, I personally don't feel like I can manage more then 3. It's my limit and I still want to be able to give tones of attention to all my children while still having a bit of me time so I feel like 3 is my max for that.

[meeks32]

I am definitely done! With two I just felt so unsettled. I wasn't 100% sold on 3 for a few reasons, but 2 just felt way to small for us and I couldn't picture us ending on 2. When I couldn't get pregnant with #3 I was constantly crying to DH about how I couldn't deal if we just had 2 and how I'd always feel like we weren't complete. Now that I'm pregnant I go through times where I'm super regretting 3 and worried about my other kids and why I did this. I am having a bad pregnancy when it comes to depression/anxiety though which I've never had before and it's kicking my butt. Some weeks I'm so excited about meeting #3, and then I have days like today where I'm practically crying all day! All this to say, I personally don't feel like I can manage more then 3. It's my limit and I still want to be able to give tones of attention to all my children while still having a bit of me time so I feel like 3 is my max for that.

I've definitely had these moments too, wondering if I'm mad to have more some days then other days desperate for the next bub to arrive. I think it's the hormones because I was super sure I wanted 3 before pregnancy, and during the 18 months ttc!!!

3 is my max too. Unless we had a super oops. But dh plans to get the snip soon after the birth so I hope not!

[onthepond]

Beadin, LOVE LOVE that idea. What a cute way for them to be involved in something so amazing and fun. That will make them feel extra special, too. I totally love it, something different!!!

[BeadinMom]

I HATE ignorant people!!!

So I went to a school meeting tonight...
Everybody was sweet & supportive & congratulating me...
And then there were these two idiots...

In a classroom full of other parents, she tells me, "Congratulations!!! Was it a surprise?!?!!" So I'm thinking surely she's not asking if my baby is an accident or a mistake...and I'm not divulging all of my business in a classroom full of people anyway. So I assume she must be asking if the gender is a surprise, so I say yes. And she says, "Oh, it was a surprise?! A surprise to everybody?! Y'all weren't trying?" So I gave her the stupidest, most ugly look I could & cut my eyes off at her & didn't respond any further.

Then, I'm walking out & a friend says, "Congratulations!!" So I say thank you & she says, "God bless you!! I couldn't do it." WHAT-THE-HELL-EVER!!! I don't care what you would or wouldn't do...I didn't ask!!!

Maybe I'm being sensitive tonight, but some people are so ignorant!!!
Ugh...going to bed.