Atomic-Personalized Plan Question

[atomic sagebrush]

My husband didn't sway and didn't believe in it or want to talk about it at all whatsoever. I felt lucky I was just able to get him to show up LOL. If he really thought I'd get pregnant at 41 he would not have gone along with it and only by the grace of God and my own sneakiness do I have a daughter today.

Re "feeling sneaky" I believe this: Men can and do pick up and start over again with younger women for no better reason than that they're horny and bored, and have whole new families and they do this ALL. THE. TIME. Even guys who you would never believe that they would, who have sworn their faithfulness and promised us the world, and these guys even leave their family in financial dire straits to do this and ruin their kids' lives. Whereas we ladies have a very limited and perishable commodity in our fertility and a brief period of time we can have kids. Thus I think that we gals may need to be more proactive in getting what we want in terms of our family size/composition and I do not find it to be any more "sneaky" than what tons of men do every single day and no one thinks anything of it.

[WantingPink]

Mama3boys I can't imagine there isn't something that your DH bought that you didn't agree with but you bought it or allowed him to buy it because it is what he wanted. My DH wasn't on board for a 3rd baby until it was the ONLY thing I would ask for. So for my birthday, mothers day, christmas, etc. the answer was always the same... I want another baby.

If you feel like you really need to tell him then you can also tell him that he doesn't need to agree with it, he just needs to support you in what you want. This is no different than getting a pedicure, your hair done, etc. Your DH may not agree with it or understand it but it doesn't matter. He wants what he wants and you want what you want. Ask for it for Mothers day... how can he say no??

[kitkat18]

I asked for four years!! He finally relented hope yours does not take so long hehe.... My hubby also does not know and I am soooo glad !! It makes baby making time fun and more relaxed and we don't fight about it cause he don't know!! I brought my customised plan on our joint credit card it only says dream baby and if he asked i was going to say i brought an ovulatation monitor- feeble excuse but lucky he did not ask.
Wantingpink just curious did you sway for your DD??
Good luck mumtothreeboys xxxxx

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[Kelissi]

Atomic, I feel like that's even more true for me, even though I'm 27 - my chances of pre-e with another partner would be pretty much 100%, and since I am still amazed that we got out of the NICU without anything but a gluten allergy for my son, there's no way I'd risk it. We're actually starting marital counseling next week, because DH feels so adamant about not having another child, and I feel so adamant that it is completely unfair of him to ask that of me when I've already made many, many decisions in favor of our partnership (where we live, where and when I'm finally finishing my degree when I was pretty sure I'd have my PhD by 30, the age that I had babies in general since he's quite a bit older than me and we needed to have them fast if we were having them). So, yeah, we need someone to talk to/through about this, because it's a place where I'm really not willing to budge - I've always wanted 3 kids, regardless of gender, and it'd be really nice if number three was a girl.

[WantingPink]

Kelissi my DH was very adamant for years that we were only having two kids even though I told him before we were married that I wanted three kids if the first two were the same sex. I just kept at him and wore him down. Now we are having 4 kids I thought when he figured out I was PG that he would have a stroke but after some mild shock he seems to be accepting and I haven't even heard him say that his car won't fit 4 kids!! He use to make every excuse in the book but now he has gone into planning rather than tell me 500 reasons why we shouldn't have anymore. 4 was never really in the plan however, he refuses to get snipped so you get what you get

[WantingPink]

Wantingpink just curious did you sway for your DD??

Yes... but not entirely. I had been on this site reading and seeing the results of what women on here were getting and what was working. What seemed to work was the diet for a long period of time. So I kind of went on a mission to destroy my health. I was one that worked out very regularly and ate well and had a stressful job. I quit working out and started eating food that wasn't all that great (less fruits and veggies, more fortified grains). To keep the weight down and eat like that I couldn't eat a whole lot. I also starting drinking a couple of drinks a night. I did that for a long time, probably about a year. I also had quit my job and become a SAHM. DH had finally agreed to a third baby so I started planning the supplements, cutoffs, etc. when one night DH decided he would take go ahead take the opportunity to not pull out. I completely freaked and J&D. I didn't dare say anything to him (since he didn't know I wanted to sway and he thought he was doing me a favor). I ovulated earlier that day so it was an O+12 but I thought for sure that baby would be another boy because I hadn't done a full on sway. Well 9 months later we had a DD

[kitkat18]

Thanks wanting pink xxx

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