Being very honest, but also confused, what is best for us? FR Or Abstinence?

[Dreamsplanner]

OK, here I go being very honest
DH and I do not have a very active sex life.
We did in beginning of relationship, but with work life and me starting earlier than him to work and him not being interested in DTD in the afternoon/evening but only in morning when I had to rush to the office, we kind of did not DTD often at all.

When we conceived DD, we did it twice after a long time to DTD and it worked.
With DS, we did it three times and it worked.

Now planning to TTC for a girl, I am thinking what will work? Abstinence, not sure if DH is abstinent ;-) He is by all means faithful but there are other ways to release and of course he does not like to tell me as I asked him, but I believe he does, as I cannot imagine not...

Will frequent release be the other option? I am not sure on that, as he tends to not like DTD every day, as he says he feels dried up and prefers every other day. But then if we did choose FR (and now with DD and DS to come, I do not think he will have any time to release, lol, wouldn't that mean his body will react to the FR differently to the whole thing and start having higher Sperm count rather than lower?

What would you advise in this case AS? Do not know what would sway best?
Also what is compressed FR? Came across that, but did not quite get it...

[carmella_marie]

Frequency-- frequent release vs abstain-- does not seem to sway as much as one attempt at + OPK. I would DTD (protected) or release in whatever pattern he wants and then do one attempt at +OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok here is a link to the Index http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ete-index.html and if you go to "Frequency" and read that set of essays, it will answer most of your questions. then whatever doesn't make sense at that point I can go over for you.

[Dreamsplanner]

Thank you AS, helpful essays, speaking with DH, he is more interested in FR (or Compressed FR), so that will be an option.

He does like the DTD more than releasing though, although I said it cannot be so my Testosterone does not skyrocket

How about helping DH release, does that raise Testosterone? And does DTD really impact Testosterone by much?

Thank you again for all your replies, much appreciated, it is great to have such support!

[carmella_marie]

I think your big O raises testosterone so you can avoid O for you if you can. It raises testosterone for DH but Testosterone/estrogen/progesterone levels may not sway as much as the lower spermicide count from FR. So FR sways pink"more" than the increased testosterone *may* sway blue.

I've also heard a lot of conflicting evidence in whether or not hormones even sway or if they do the effect my only be miniscule.

[atomic sagebrush]

I personlly find the compressed FR has proven very difficult for people.

I also think the risks of BD raising testosterone to be totally overblown and I do not event ake that into consideration any more.

I think having intercourse (protected) and helping DH release are both fine. Don't be afraid to change it up a bit and keep it interesting!

[atomic sagebrush]

We don't even KNOW that testosterone is swaying anyway. So I hate to see people getting consumed with "will this raise my T? will this be better?" because I'm not totally convinced it is even testosterone to begin with.

[Dreamsplanner]

Thanks very much AS, this is useful and helps decide which plan to put into action...

[eleena2014]

Question about dtd.this will be next month eeekk! He will be abstaining for 7-10 days before then just one attempt at +opk. Is this ok and the correct thing to do? As I couldn't see this option in the index.

[bluebonnet22]

Question about dtd.this will be next month eeekk! He will be abstaining for 7-10 days before then just one attempt at +opk. Is this ok and the correct thing to do? As I couldn't see this option in the index.

eleena - hopefully AS will give you the "official" answer, but yes that is my understanding. If your DH is 35 or less and you prefer abstain you would abstain for 7-10 days and then attempt once at +OPK.