Crappy Mothers Day

[SamS_TTCPink]

I can't tell my mum, it would defiantly make things worse. They seem themselves as these perfect parents with a horrible daughter. My dad even said the other day that it was a mistake having me! Nice!! 😞

It must have been really hard having a straight A student who wasn't allowed out ever and the worst thing I did was get pregnant at 17 to my boyfriend, now DH! And even then, DH worked and we paid our own way, our house was always kept nice and we raised our son well and by ourselves. They seem to think I went out drinking and took drugs and slept around, which I'm not sure when as I was always home under their constant supervision or at school or work, which I did to pay my own way including board! my brother on the other hand did do all that, got arrested, spent nights in the police "alcohol bins", slept with underage girls and did a whole lot worse....but in their eyes he was perfect and they have no idea what he is really like. He never contributed to anything at home and now that he has only just moved out (at almost 30) mum still goes over and does his housework, washing and ironing!! He kicked me when I was pregnant and said he hopes my baby dies and it was "my fault". I've never been good enough as I'm not a lawyer and single living in a penthouse (their dream for me).

Oh well, not much I can do but whinge! Lol!! And hope for a better Mother's Day next year. 😊

[Mrs_Incredible]

too sad a story. I'd concentrate in your family and leave them to it. Who needs that sh!t in their lives!???? Xx

[Adia]

I have tons of family drama with my parents and siblings too.

After a horrible experience last summer with my mom acting like a crazy lady and treating me worse than ever in front of my kids after I had flown halfway across the country to help her at HER request, I finally cut the chord. No longer do I see my parents and siblings as my immediate family. My DH and my girls are my immediate family. My parents and siblings are our extended family and I don't have time on a daily basis for extended family.

I no longer feel obligated to buy plane tickets to fly across the country to my parents home for holidays or talk to them on the phone every weekend. I make it a point not to keep up on FB with my one brother that turned on me and I only chat with the other brother when he calls me, which is rarely.

I am consciously trying to slowly let the day to day differences of our lives divide us to the point where when we are together its catching up after big chunks of time rather than knowing what's doing on in their day to day lives.

It has been hard for me because I was always so dedicated to my parents and my siblings. Their behavior has made it clear that they are not as dedicated to me, and reality is, they never were. I have to start mirroring them and realizing that if I exert myself to do things for them or visit them and they aren't doing the same for me, its my own thinking that has to change.

I dearly love my dad and we have always been close but he had two strokes last year and functions more like an older child than the brilliant Nurse Practitioner he once was. My mom has all control over him and he just follows along so that is another cue for me to stay away. I can't help him and if I tried, I'd just be a bigger target for my mom. We don't get along at all. She has 3 other daughter so I am disposable!

Big hugs Mum! I feel your pain. You have beautiful boys and a wonderful life. And you have a whole swarm of us cheering you on to try for that girl if that is what your heart desires!

[SamS_TTCPink]

Thank you for your post Adia. And I'm sorry that you've had to go through all that drama too but you are amazing with your attitude and self respect. We are "stuck" here for a while, which I absolutely hate as my parents are 5 mins away and Canberra is such a small place but as soon as we can leave I am moving away, from them, from their drama and their negative impact on my life and that of my family.

I've also been dedicated to them all, even at our wedding (which I was so scared they'd ruin as they did our reversal) I have them a gift of a hot air balloon ride as it was just days before their 30th anniversary. I've always been there to help them out if they needed a lift cause their cars were being serviced, always made such an effort with everything to do with them and also just put up with their put downs, abuse and the appalling way they treat me and yes in front of my kids too.

I can only hope I gain the strength and sense of self worth that you have and step away too.

Thank you again. x

[stephk]

mumofsix I cant believe you have been treated this way by your own family! It is disgusting, I am so sorry! I really hope you manage to get out of Canberra and away from the negative energy. At least they have shown you how not to behave and how not to treat your kids.

[WantingPink]

Mumofsix even if they are physically close it doesn't mean that you have to go over there, or do things for them, or even take their calls. If my Dad said it was a mistake having me that would be enough for me. You should just focus on your own family. When someone brings on drama and hurt feelings that isn't someone you should have in your life. My Dads wife can be a major PITA and say things that are totally inappropriate and I just give it right back to her. She has learned over the years that she needs to watch her mouth cause I am not going to just sit back and take it from her. My Grandma can be the same way and say awful and hurtful things and she tries to start fights between everyone. We have all learned to ignore her.

Maybe if you stood up for yourself your parents wouldn't walk all over you?? I would tell your parents the next time you say or do something hurtful I am leaving and you won't see me again until you learn how to be supportive and not hurtful. I don't care if it is their birthday I would leave. If they are at your house I would ask them to leave. Sounds like they are going to keep treating you poorly until you make them stop. So sorry your parents aren't more supportive.

[Mrs_Incredible]

^^^^ I was thinking exactly the same as wantingpink! Really hon, you don't need that in your life. They give you nothing but hurt feelings and heartache, keep contact to a minimum, and don't be their skivvy. And tell them when they're being rude, hurtful, nasty sand take your gorgeous family out of the situation. You deserve so much better. I hope you can find the strength to stand up to them, it doesn't sound as if they are there for you emotionally or to help with your children .... What are you going to lose? Xxx


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[aidansmum]

Sorry you had such a crappy day, how can family be so insensitive? Haven't got much to add, just hope you feel better soon, you are a fantastic mum, not many can handle a family of 6 (I know I can't!) and I really admire you. Sorry about your angel baby and really hope you get your little girl in the future. Your family has no say in how many kids you want to have or what you do with your life. I feel like giving them a piece of my mind, seriously!

[atomic sagebrush]

mine too just utterly awful. huge (((hugs)))

[SamS_TTCPink]

Thanks atomic. Sorry your day sucked too. x